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let's rewind the clock a couple years
when young naive innocent Logan is in
the sixth grade our our school had a
camping trip called Mohican and we were
there for like five days so you know we
hiked we would build fires we throw
tomahawks we found out that one of my
friends had a problem wetting the bed
which was kind of weird but it was
sucked even more for me because I was in
the bunk underneath him anyways this
place was all about self-discovery
now there was this one kid in our grade
who was a bit different and I don't mean
different like he was the quiet kid who
played the oboe I mean different like he
would pretend to be a dragon and run
around screeching at people before
school started yeah that's exactly what
it sounded like so this kid let's call
him Carlo he was a bigger kid right and
he was known to actually beat people up
in the bathroom so anyways every night
at camp bunk 13 Carl would stay up all
night he would not sleep and what's more
he was very he was very vocal about it
because the entire night from bunk 13
you would hear Carl yelling nocturnal
nocturnal nocturnal nocturnal nocturnal
nocturnal and at first we were like hi
Carl you weird I'll go to bed but after
two to three nights of yelling nocturnal
nocturnal nocturnal every night we were
like oh [ __ ] this dude might actually be
nocturnal and then a rumor started that
one kid one night saw him talking to a
raccoon
who knows but needless to say everyone
in the cabin was losing sleep because
this kid just would not shut up at night
so picture this you got a camp full of
drowsy dumb sixth graders throwing
tomahawks and trying to identify poison
oak it was a disaster kids were getting
hit an ad with tomahawks at every turn
so one night one of the kids in our
cabin was over it right so he goes up to
Carl and he says hey Carl we all know
you're nocturnal and stuff but would you
mind being quiet for tonight you know
Jess I just want to get some sleep you
see though Carl must not have liked that
question because car
out of his bed and yes that's right up
Hadlock the kids lips were bleeding so
bad that he had to get sent home but
somehow ever let Carlos stay with a
warning that's right the kid who threw a
padlock at another kid's face was
allowed to stay and continue throwing
tomahawks at camp now looking back as an
adult I'm aware that our camp counselors
were probably like permanently on drugs
but I digress
Dave for comes around and little sixth
grade Logan is so far being exhausted
and all I want to do was find tadpoles
and build fires and run around and do
fun camp stuff but this kid car was
ruining it with his nocturnal [ __ ]
so one day we're walking to plant
identification class and Karl is added
again nocturnal nocturnal nocturnal
nocturnal nocturnal nocturnal
someone had to stop this madness man so
I put my foot down I sack up and I say
yo Karl
Jennifer God and for whatever reason he
had big double D batteries at the time
maybe he shoved them up his butt at
night that's why he was always awake and
cause he had energy right but anyways he
threw one of his ass batteries at me and
he streamed and this kid was bigger than
me at the time I didn't have muscles yet
so I was like damn I'm not about to
fight this kid and then I was like no
way cuz he'd probably try to fight my
ear off or something
so I did the next best thing and as karl
was walking in the door in front of me
I'd shut the door on him that's right I
tried to smush Karl in the doorframe and
for some reason I thought that would get
my point across but oh no Karl freakin
snapped in front of everyone he grabbed
me I grabbed him I'm like oh [ __ ] it's
going down I'm fighting the raccoon kid
I slammed him up against the wall at
this point everyone is like what is
happening the camp counselors are off
doing drugs somewhere in the forest it's
frickin chaos my forearm is on his neck
I got a pinned against the wall and this
dude almost instinctively [ __ ] his head
back and sinks his teeth into my arm
I'm like did this kid just bite me
everyone's like does that kid just bite
Logan I had never seen this tactic in a
fight before I was only in sixth grade I
didn't know what was happening so I let
go partially because I'm in pain and
partially because I think I have rabies
now but I'm like okay you wanna fight
dirty let's fight dirty you nocturnal
son of a [ __ ] so then I run that's
right I've run away from the table but
this kid is tasty he wanted to finish
what he started into my entire arm off
the whole lunchroom is watching this I
have had enough at this point so I give
my battle call I grab a chair from under
the table and as hard as I can throw it
at his face as he's foaming at the mouth
chasing me
right to the dome bro Carla collapses in
the floor and he starts screaming I'm
gonna get you you're gonna pay for this
dude's out of a [ __ ] I'm like [ __ ] bro
I gotta go treat my arm so I run away
word quickly spread and the counselors
decided that throwing a padlock at a
kid's face and shooting a hole in my arm
was enough to evidence the second Carl
home and little sixth-grade Logan was
hailed as the chair throwing hero
we all got a good sleep that night and
live Dre be free happily ever
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you
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