It started with a bang?
Then in the sequel, your Aunt Beth's spank bank started to
run dry.
You want a vanilla relationship?
Now, in the final chapter. Final?
Yeah!
Now the final chapter lands
with the sex appeal of day old lunch meat left out
in the rain.
Fifty Shades Freed
Meet Mr. and Mrs. Gray,
two people who definitely rushed into marriage
"You own this?"
"You do want to have kids someday right?"
"Would you change you're name for me?"
Ride along with main characters
who are clearly the villians of their own movie
As the stucked up billionaries
Who's business is never really explained
"I love what you're doing
in Africa"
" Oh, thank you"
Watch Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson
crackle with all the intensity
of siblings
And when everyone else eats breakfast
Clearly
So close the book on the trilogy designed
To separate your seventh year grammar teacher from a
Starring
This flashback of the dumbest moments in the franchise
Laters, baby.
Can't wait to never see you again.
"I used to write a lot of it on on my
blackberry" "You wrote it on your blackberry?"