So what's amazing-- and you've been outspoken about this,
which I think is so important.
I think the more people talk about anything
that people are scared to talk about, it's good for all of us.
But I had no idea the health issues
that you've gone through.
I mean, it's enormous.
There's been-- you--
I tried to remember it, but how much-- what's gone on?
It's a lot.
I've had about I want to say six surgeries over the past couple
of years, but I want to say maybe 16 surgeries all together
throughout my life.
I just turned 28.
And I've had two kidney transplants,
I have endometriosis, a whole slew of things.
And about 2 and 1/2 years ago--
I can't even do the math right anymore because time is
fleeting-- but I went into rejection and I had to go
on dialysis, and--
While you were working on Modern Family?
While I was working on Modern Family.
I had gout.
What is gout?
It's like when as a thing crystallizes--
when your [INAUDIBLE] crystallizes in your bones--
Oh, and there's pain.
Yes.
And it's extremely painful.
One of the most--
I've been through a lot of pain.
One of the most painful things I've ever had.
So you're going to work on one of the most hilarious shows
on television--
Thank you.
--and being funny, and yet you're
going through this pain every single day.
And then I read that you were going through major depression
because of the sickness, which totally makes sense,
that you actually thought about taking your own life.
Yeah.
First of all, how-- and I know you have a lot of support.
You have people in your life, but when
people hear that, what an amazing life you have,
what an amazing job you have, you're
going to laugh every single day.
And yet still when you go home, you get into that dark place.
What would you say to anybody who-- like,
what got you out of that?
It ended up being myself that got me out of that.
I had to do it on my own.
I told myself I had to do it on my own.
You know, I have an amazing job, an amazing support system,
but after--
at the time I was 26.
After 26, 27 years of just always
being sick and being in chronic pain every single day,
and you don't know when you're going
to have the next good day, it's really, really hard.
And I would write letters in my head
to loved ones of why I did it, and my reasoning behind it,
how it was nobody's fault. And I didn't
want to write it down on paper, because I didn't want anybody
to find it.
Because that's how serious I was.
How close did you get?
I mean, were you really close to doing that?
I was very, very, very, very close, yeah.
And then you got yourself out of it.
But what was the one thing that said,
I am not going to do this.
I finally said it out loud to someone, and that someone--
I had been saying, I need to go to see a therapist.
I think I need to go see a therapist again.
And they're like, no, no.
Why would you see one?
You could just talk to me.
And when I said it out loud, they
were like, oh, you need to see a therapist.
And that's when I was like, OK.
I don't think you're going to help me.
I think I need to really do this on my own,
and really do even more digging and soul searching.
And just saying it out loud helped immensely,
because I kept it to myself for months and months at a time.
And I just-- saying it out loud really helped.
And no one in your--
no one around you saw that you were in that kind of-- you
were that close to taking your life?
No, I-- I just--
I didn't want anybody to know that I was that close.
Yeah
Because if they knew, they would try and--
Stop it.
--persuade me.
Yeah.
So the thing you would say to anybody feeling
like that at all is just say it out loud, talk to somebody?
Yeah.
I mean, every person with their anxiety or depression
or if you have suicidal thoughts,
every individual is different.
So I wouldn't just rely on everything that I say.
I'm just sharing my story.
Right.
But I think talking to someone and saying it out loud really,
really makes it sound almost ridiculous,
and it puts everything into perspective.
You're amazing.
I'm so-- and that's the thing.
You watch somebody on television,
and you think they have it all.
And what you're going through, and what
you had to keep going through in the struggle while
still making everybody happy and laugh,
I admire you talking about it.
I really do.
Thank you so much.
All right, we'll take a break.
We'll be back.