s: welcome to Shane's school of delicious breakfasts, today we'll be making egg fried rice
s: fried rice h: this is literally not fried rice
s: there is rice in the pan right now, and what is that noise that it's making?
h: sizzling s: then we're making sizzled rice
h: I'm just saying, fried rice is a specific dish and you're not making fried rice
s: I'm doing my culinary take on fried rice
h: so white rice in a pan and you're going to crack a scrambled egg into it?
s: uh, we're not done, you have to add soy sauce
h: you add soy sauce after, when it's in the bowl
s: they don't have to know that h: it's not fried rice
s: that's part of how it works in my recipe
s: now the finishing touch
h: tell me when s: a healthy amount
s: I can't actually see, is that good?
h: yeah, that's more than you typically put on
s: the soy sauce really brings out the flavor of the dish
s: of the sizzled fried rice, the sizzled rice
s: oh shoot, you know what, this is that extra salty rice that we made
h: yeah
s: we accidentally made a really overly salted rice last night
h: I know, the soy...
s: so the soy sauce is not gonna work well with that
h: yum
s: I'm gonna need a bucket of water along with this
[intro song] Hello, hello, welcome to the show, welcome to the show
Welcome to the show, it's time to talk about our lives [Chloe bark]
h: I feel like this camera makes... this camera doesn't...
h: this camera looks weird s: really?
h: yeah, do I look normal to you? s: yeah
h: don't I look dark? s: no, you're tan
h: but like under my eyes looks dark, I just feel like, hmm
s: no, that's the color you are h: no I don't think so
s: my eyes make you look like that h: I feel like I look like I have freckles
h: I'm not really sure, anyway s: you didn't know you have freckles?
h: I have some freckles but I'm just confused about this camera
h: anyway, obviously a lot of people think that I'm Shane's nurse in some capacity
h: hence his book, Strangers Assume My Girlfriend Is My Nurse
h: and I would like to tell those people that for the past couple days
h: they have been correct, I have been acting as a nurse for Shane
h: as you know he claims that he does not have allergies, however--
s: I don't have allergies h: he has been having some allergies recently
h: stuffy nose, you know, itchy eyes, whatever
s: and massive amounts of mucus h: yeah just a lot of snot, whatever
h: he refuses to take allergy pills, obviously, because it's not allergies
s: I don't have allergies h: but whenever he has a stuffy nose
h: whether it's from a cold or allergies or whatever
h: that always ends up getting into his lungs at some point
h: overnight, when he's asleep and it just gets right in there
s: when my guard is down h: when your guard is down
h: and so he wakes up and he has to cough and so this morning he was like
h: he had a lot of phlegm in his lungs just from sleeping overnight
h: and I guess he wanted to tell you about it
h: this is all to say that Shane asked me to describe that so that he could now
h: tell you about his coughing
s: sleep is a vital component to overall health and wellbeing
s: and we would now like to thank Helix Sleep for sending us one of their mattresses
s: to try out in our new home, now that Hannah and I have been living together
s: for over 3 years, we've developed our own unique style of sleeping together
s: we've never really showed you what those sleep positions look like
s: so now we are gonna share some of our favorite sleep positions with you
s: we also want to let you know what we have loved about testing out
s: our new Helix Sleep mattress
h: Helix is a premium mattress in a box company that makes mattresses
h: to fit your unique needs and preferences based on your body type
h: and sleep style, first you fill out the Helix sleep quiz
h: outlining your preferred bed size, sleep position, mattress firmness
h: and other personalized preferences.
h: based on our results, Helix matched us with their Dusk Lux mattress
h: as you can see from our sleep positions here, Shane mostly sleeps on his left side
h: except when we are snuggling before bed or when we wake up in the morning
s: Hannah on the other hand, moves about like a whirling dervish
s: throughout the entire night, which is what led to her nickname, Squirmy
h: both of us prefer a medium to firm mattress
h: a firmer mattress ensures that Shane doesn't sink into it
s: and it also helps support Hannah's back in her various positions
h: we love the soft yet firm feeling of our Helix mattress
h: and the queen size they sent us gives us plenty of room for me
h: to roll around like a fish out of water all night without disturbing little baby Shane
s: with your Helix sleep mattress, you get a 100 night sleep trial
s: along with a 10 year warranty
h: the best part about all of this is that Helix delivers your mattress
h: right to your door for free within the US
h: click on the link below or go to helixsleep.com/squirmy
h: for up to $200 off your Helix Sleep mattress plus 2 free pillows
s: and no night is complete without a visit from Chloe
s: sleep well everyone
h: is that good Shane, you want to tell them?
s: we're just having a nice conversation while we eat breakfast
h: yeah, okay s: about my mucus
s: so stuff in my lungs is pretty serious for me because if I don't get rid of it
s: it turns into pneumonia, I end up in the hospital, I end up dead
h: okay [laughs]
s: so when I feel even a little bit in my lungs
s: we go into lung safety mode h: yeah
s: and today was really bad, like I woke up and I was...I can't even describe it
s: what does it sound like when I have that?
h: I mean, when you breathe in you can hear it rattling around
s: yeah, it's like water bubbling in my lungs
h: yeah s: and I can't cough really effectively
s: to just get it out, so it takes me a long time of coughing
s: which wears me out, which makes it even harder
s: so today we did our lung protocol that I call thumping
h: people are like, oh, okay s: this is Hannah's duty as my nurse today
h: yeah, so first Shane did his inhaler that he has that's supposed to loosen
h: everything up s: it's albuterol
h: albuterol, he also has these pills that you can take, I forget what they are
h: but they're supposed to lower the inflammation in his lungs
h: and he refuses to take them, he has never once taken them
h: I don't know what it is
s: cause I took them once and they made me throw up, that's why
h: no, they didn't s: remember when I threw up
h: but you were just sick s: in Minneapolis
h: that was...oh, I don't think that was from the pills, but yeah maybe it did
h: I forgot about that, you did throw up there
h: and that was right after taking them, whether it was just accidental
h: or they made him throw up, he will never take them again
s: well it might've been the leftover mushroom pasta that I had for breakfast
h: from Olive Garden? it was cold out of the fridge
s: it sat out all night h: ew, well it might've been that
s: your finger might be on the mic h: it's not, oh, there?
s: yeah h: so yeah, might've been the mushroom pasta
h: but it might've been the pills, so he hasn't taken them anymore
h: but he took his inhaler and then he laid down
h: and he was laying with a pillow under his head
h: and was like, I feel like I should be tilted the other way
h: so he can cough out, not so it's sinking down
s: yeah, tilted up h: so I put a pillow under his hips
h: we should've taken a video of this, you looked ridiculous
h: but then the thumping is just me like hitting his chest, basically
s: I think it's called chest percussion h: chest percussion, it's a thing
h: and there's devices that do it, like a vest you can put on that does it
h: but that's, you know s: I own one
h: yeah, but you hate it s: I think it's in Pennsylvania
h: I don't think we even brought it from Pennsylvania, you were like I'm never--
h: oh my god, Chloe, you're like I'm never ever using that again
h: and so it's just me hitting his chest to loosen stuff up
h: and it all came out really really easily
s: yeah, it worked really well, it doesn't always work really well
h: yeah s: it sometimes feels a little bit futile
s: like I don't do it all the time because I'm like, it's not going to work
s: but today I was having so much trouble breathing
h: yeah s: I was like alright, let's do it
s: so she puts my hips up h: yup
s: and right away I was like oh, something came up
h: yeah [laughs] s: and then she began to hit me
h: thump you, please don't say I began to hit you [laughs]
s: and then more and more came out, it was really effective
h: now you're done s: listen [breathes in and out]
h: yeah, clear as a whistle s: clear as a...
h: clear as a bell s: a bell?
h: clear as a bell? clear as a whistle? s: clear as a whistle
s: a bell, why would a bell be... h: clear as a bell, I heard it clear as a bell
h: isn't that the phrase? s: yeah but why?
h: like you can hear it clear as like a church bell?
h: you know, like in the town? s: clear as a tornado siren
h: [laughs] okay
s: anyway that's how we get stuff out of my lungs
s: there is one other elevation of that method that we can do
s: which is my cough assist device h: yeah, another thing you hate
s: which is a machine that's basically like a vacuum that we put on my mouth
s: and it sucks my air out h: yeah
s: hate it h: helps him cough
s: I don't think it works h: it never worked
s: remember last time it blew.. [laughs] h: it blew it in, you hated it
h: it literally has never cleared anything for Shane
h: and we have it on the right settings, I feel like people are gonna be like
h: you're using it wrong s: yeah, it does work for a lot of people
h: yeah
s: it probably would work for me if I tried it more
s: but I'm on like day 3 of whatever is going on now, could be a cold or allergies
s: probably a cold, so I should be over the phlegm fairly soon
h: yeah, I think you got so much of it out, your nose is better today
h: than it was yesterday s: yeah
h: maybe it was the benadryl s: when did I take benadryl?
h: I'll give you that benadryl decongestion combo
s: oh, the one that made me nauseous?
h: yeah [laughs] s: I think that every medicine makes me sick
h: uh huh, it might've been that you had, what did you have for breakfast that day?
h: oh yes, the quesadilla, the beef quesadilla with rice and queso
h: but yeah, it was probably the benadryl [laughs]
s: I'm noticing a correlation between the breakfast I eat
s: and how nauseous I feel h: yeah, uh huh
s: more research needs to be done, we'll start now
s: by eating this salty salty abomination h: yeah [laughs]
s: I'll let you know how I feel later
[Shane singing] Goodbye, goodbye, it's time to say goodbye
that is all we have for you today.