- The NBA Playoffs should elicit fond memories
of classic games with clutch heroics.
Bird's steal, Reggie Miller's eight points in nine seconds,
Ray Allen's miracle three.
The best teams and the best players squaring off
oughta be the pinnacle of basketball.
But in 2009, we got a playoff game that was so ghastly,
James Naismith would have regretted coming up with the sport
in the first place, this is The Worst NBA Playoff Game.
April 27th, the year of our Lord 20 hundred and a nine.
New Orleans Arena in, you guessed it,
New Orleans, Louisiana.
Game 4 of the first round playoff series
between the Denver Nuggets and New Orleans Hornets.
The Nugs comfortably held serve in Colorado
each of the first two games, but with the series shifting
for Game 3, the Hornets got a boost from their home fans
including Dwayne Carter and they escaped with a win
by the skin of their teeth.
These two teams have been absolutely clobbering each other
throughout this series and it didn't take long
for this one to also devolve into a slug fest.
Just one minute into this catastrophe,
Kenyon Martin introduces his ass to Tyson Chandler's face
and shortly there after, professional agitator
Dahntay Jones wallops an unsuspecting
Chris Paul right in the back.
Reigning Coach of the Year Byron Scott's defensive
strategy for star forward Carmelo Anthony
was to toss noted defensive stopper Peja Stojakovic on him
and not give him any help and would you look at the brutal
struggle Melo has to endure to get his buckets.
Before anyone's broken a sweat,
the Nugs have built a 15 point lead
and Scott is already out of answers.
You know it's bad when his superstar point guard
gets iso'd up on Nene who is twice his size
and he still can't shake loose.
At this point even Hugo the Hornet
knows that everyone is doomed.
CP3 gets yet another love tap from Martin
before the first quarter comes to a close
at which point the Nuggets are hitting over
two thirds of their shots.
The Hornies haven't even hit one third of theirs
and we have already got a blowout.
This game is so bad even the clock decides to just
throw in the towel, going about 17 seconds
just stuck on 9:56 until the next dead ball,
completely unnoticed by everyone,
and letting us soak in a few precious, extraneous seconds
because 2,880 are not enough.
I am the only person in the world
that has ever discovered this glaring clock failure
and you now know my most sacred secret.
Any hopes of making this competitive
are dashed the moment Chris Anderson
drains this fade-away baseline J.
If a goddamn Birdman is doing
whatever the hell he pleases to you, you deserve nothing.
Even Tyson Chandler's attempt to fight back
with a blatant shove of Nene simply results in an and one.
But basketball doesn't get any shittier
than what comes next.
James Posey flubs this layup and then let's
quickly scroll through their next 10 possessions.
Foul and free throws, foul and free throws,
foul and free throws, turnover, turnover,
foul and free throws, turnover,
foul and free throws, foul and free throws,
foul and free throws, if that doesn't get the blood
coursing through your veins, I do not know what will.
Finally with 1:46 left in the half,
this Rasual Butler wide open air ball
is their first actual field goal attempt
since Posey barfed up that layup nearly five and half
game minutes earlier.
We soon reach halftime, so let's check in with
Chris Weber and Gary Payton.
- Hey guys, don't go anywhere, we'll be right back
with the T-Mobile Halftime Show
and some scintillating conversation
with my man, Ahmed and GP.
(laughter)
- At least we know nothing can dampen the spirits
of those two or anyone else puffing the magic dragon.
On to half number two.
The Hornets actually put together a productive possession,
moving the ball and ultimately finding a wide open
Peja Stojakovic in the corner.
Now folks, Peja Stojakovic,
at the time he'll release this shot,
is one of the three or four
greatest long range snipers ever.
And he is wide ass open.
- [Announcer] Corner for Peja.
Wow, a three point shooter shoots it over the rim.
- [Alex] Right about now Byron Scott is desperate
because they're at a point where
they're looking for Sean Marks to manufacture some offense
and that is never a good thing for anyone.
It's gotten so bad the third quarter ends
with James Posey executing the most shameless
disregard for getting a shot up before the buzzer
that you will ever see.
Going into the fourth, Byron Scott
trots out his concession lineup of
Antonio Daniels, and four guys whose asses
have been glued to the bench the entire evening,
and just lets them flop around for all 12 minutes.
Early in that final frame, much to Steve Smith's delight
this Linas Kleiza three puts the Nugs up.
- [Announcer] 40!
- And Denver coach George Karl's going on
like two hours just sitting there
with that little smile on his face.
Especially when Mo Peterson chucks up yet another
Hornets' air ball or this pass from Daniels in which
he either expects Devin Brown to immediately have
a three foot growth spurt or just wants
to give a souvenir to a fan in the third row.
A couple possessions later, Renaldo Balkman
tees up Johan Petro for this layup.
Yes, we've now entered the Renaldo Balkman,
Johan Petro portion of the proceedings.
And it pushes their lead to
- [Announcer] 50!
- [Alex] At this point even Coach Scott simply
can't hide his amusement with what he's seeing.
When this Jason Hart jumper splashes through,
the Nuggets are doubling up the Hornets
with under three minutes to play.
And if there is any doubt that this is the worst
playoff game in NBA history,
announcer Rick Kamla has a message for you.
- [Announcer] We can tell our grandkids
that we called the worst playoff game
in the history of the NBA.
- [Alex] When the fat lady finally sings,
the score stood at 121-63,
not only is that 58 point spanking
tied for the largest of any playoff game ever,
but in the 35 years preceding this game
no team had lost a home playoff game by even 40.
From the very inception of the NBA
through that '09 postseason,
there were 12,772 quarters of playoff hoops.
Only 77 others featured one team outscoring
another by at least 20, that's about one in 166.
This game had two such quarters
and it wasn't all that far from having a third.
The 63 points the Hornets scored were a franchise low
for any game and was a number reached by Denver
less than a minute into the third quarter.
The Hornets' 17 buckets were also the fewest
by any team in any regular or postseason game in 55 years.
This game would have been a contender
for the worst NBA game period,
that it occurred in the postseason,
had the clock conspiring against us
to extend the game even longer than 48 torturous minutes,
the countless air balls, the half quarter
of a team not getting a shot up,
and plenty more make this the hands down,
unequivocal worst playoff game the NBA has ever delivered.
Naismith didn't die for this.