- Oh hi there! I'm Laci Green.
I make videos about sex positive stuff.
I took a little break from the interwebs,
and I missed you guys so much! (fake cries)
You don't remember me, no, nothing?
Orange, all right.
Well, fresh start.
(upbeat pop music)
So, I thought I'd jump in today by exploring the age-old
question, "Can men and women be friends?"
It's just such a complicated question, you know.
Like, how am I supposed to be friends with someone
who I could potentially bang?
- Would he hook up with you if you wanted to hook up?
- Yeah.
- So, he likes you. - Mm-hmm.
- So, what you're saying is, men and women can't be friends.
- Nnnnah, no, no way.
- Guys and girls can't just be friends.
- I feel like they can. - No.
- Men and women can't be friends,
because the sex part always gets in the way.
- Hey, street interview people and Billy Crystal,
just gotta tell you that you know, you're, uh, you're wrong.
Through a combination of scientific research and
common sense, we know that heterosexual men and women
can actually be friends.
For realsies, 100 percent legit, not shitting you.
"But Laci, if it's 100 percent legit, why do people
"still think that men and women can't be friends?"
Well...
Once upon a time, like eh, one, two hundred years ago,
men and women really weren't friends.
The only context that men and women were permitted
to mingle with each other was to date, marriage,
but certainly not friendship.
It was really looked down upon and kind of taboo.
But around 1890, the feminists were like,
♫ Why can't we be friends
♫ Why can't we be friends ♫
The first step was to see friendship between men and women
as part of a romantic relationship.
Right about this time is where we get the terms
"boyfriend" and "girlfriend".
Now, the idea that you actually have a friendship
with the person that you're dating seems totally
obvious now, but it actually took between 60 and 70 years
for people to accept that.
Now, we're in the second push,
which has helped people understand that
non-romantic, non-sexual friendships between
men and women are not only okay, they're totally possible.
We have this problem where men and women
have issues relating to each other, historically.
This manifests in a lot of different mediums.
We have all of our books, our movies, our TV shows.
So, if men and women are friends, eventually they will
end up sleeping together.
Every damn time!
Very rarely are we taking in narratives of strong,
fulfilling relationships between men and women.
And it confirms this idea that we have that,
"Oh, I guess, you know, they really can't be friends."
And then what do we do?
Little Johnny pops out of your vagina,
you're playing at the park, and he's on the swingset
with Jenny, and you're like, "Hey little Johnny,
"is that your little girlfriend?"
And little Johnny's like, "Girls are girlfriends."
And then surprise surprise, little Johnny grows up,
and he leaves stupid ass comments on YouTube
about how he can never be friends
with little Jenny from the playground.
While all this may be true, it doesn't erase the reality
that people do really experience
barriers in friendships because of sexual attraction.
But I think it's high time that people start to acknowledge
that sexual attraction doesn't have to destroy
or negate a friendship.
We're able to sort of cope with and interact with
our own sexual desires in more dynamic ways
than people like to think we do.
I have lots of experiences with the sex thing
coming up in friendships, either from me to them
or them to me.
And essentially, to deal with it, what I end up doing,
or what they end up doing is just
acknowledging it, then moving on.
Oh, I kind of feel like touching you right now.
But hey, I don't, like fucking need to do that!
The problem is that a lot of men are taught
that that's part of being a man.
And that belief about themselves can actually be
a real friendship killer, legit.
There are lots of things that men and women can do
to make it easier to have friendships with each other.
But that's like a whole other video.
So, I will be back next week.
I'm back to posting regular videos.
Thank you so much for all of the love
and amazing support and everything.
Um, yeah, I don't want to get into it right now.
But I hope that you all know how much I appreciate
every one of you, and um...
I'll see you next week. (smooches)
♫ Please be
♫ With everyone
♫ Except your mom oh
♫ What? ♫