so you've gotten yourself into a relationship with somebody that you believe to be a love avoidant
and in that relationship you don't know if they actually care about you
well in today's video i'm going to give you five ways to tell whether or not your avoidant cares
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paragraphs long thank you in today's video i'm going to give you five ways to tell whether or
not your avoidant cares about you and the very first way that you can tell is they give you
their time so avoidants tend to be nonsensical you know they don't want to give anything or anybody
their time or their energy if it doesn't serve them any purpose if it isn't uh something that's
worth having or worth being with they won't do it which is why when you ask an avoiding person
you may be hanging out with them and saying you know you really don't show me love this way or
show me love that way i don't know if you actually care about me and they don't usually just respond
like that's silly i'm here with you right this is my way of showing you love they won't they may not
go and elaborate that way but that's what they're uh hinting to i'm giving you my time i'm here
i'm with you that means i actually care about you because my friends they complain about me
not wanting to be around and not giving them their time not giving them my time so if they're with
you and they're giving you their time that means that that's a really good indication
that they actually care about you they're putting you as a priority and they're um they're moving
towards you know having something a little bit more substantial with you the second thing
that they'll do is they'll offer their space you know i've heard too many times where people have
moved in with somebody that's a love avoidant you know they moved into their house you know because
they typically don't want to move into your space with you they would much rather you move in with
them so if you moved in with them which i would say is a huge no-no you know if you are going
to decide to move in with somebody that you know is a love avoidant be prepared for things to get
real rocky and for things to fall apart unless you lay out a good plan on how you guys are going to
co-habitate now have a clear vision on what space is going to be yours what's going to be theirs
what quality time is going to look like because most of the time they may not want to be around
you or under you so much you know when you guys were dating and you know going through the
courtship stage sure they felt like they had to be there entertain you but when you move in with them
or they give you their space and invite you over you know that's a huge indication that hey i care
about you i want to make this work but this is me offering up um what i need to offer up in order
to make you feel comfortable will make you feel safe but you need to do it in the correct way
all right i'm just going to reiterate that again because nothing can make uh anxious and avoidant
dynamic fall apart quicker than you moving in with them so make sure that you do it the correct way
but if they're offering it to you they care about you the third way that they would show that they
love you or they care about you they will give you money they will give you resources the things
that they have you know worked hard to get you know finances are you know if it's something that
they had like an old old tv or a table or if they went out and bought something new and they offer
it to you what they have like hey before i sell this before i donate this is this something that
you want is this something that you you feel like you can benefit from and instead of being selfish
and saying i'm just going to go ahead and sell it they're offering it to you because they want
to improve the quality of your life and show you that hey i care about you i want you to have nice
things i want you to be um comfortable in your living quarters too so they will give you that
they will give you money and they will give you resources but if it's somebody that you know they
feel on a fence about you know they'll think more along the lines of and this is for just from what
people that i've talked to don't alone the lines of what they can they can do for themselves like
they'll they'll be able to go out and find you know tv off ebay or facebook marketplace so
there's no really no need for me to offer to them but if they do that
it's a really good sign that they care about you the fourth thing that they would do is they will
come back to an argument or a disagreement that you guys had now this is when they're starting to
move more towards becoming more secure maybe even secure with you or if they're becoming more secure
in a way that they attach to people in general they will come back to things that were you know
uncomfortable conversations that were uncomfortable they'll bring it back up maybe
they'll take their time come back to you and they won't let you stew and won't let your anxiety get
too out of hand they'll come back to the table and then talk about it i see this more with um
with men who are avoidants and they're trying to become more secure and they want to
communicate better with their spouses and they want all their girlfriends they want to be able
to show up better they'll come back to the table and say hey can we sit down and talk about this
can we can we resolve this issue i don't want you angry with me i don't want you i don't want things
to be weird so they'll come back and they'll show that they actually care and those are the times
where people get hooked you know when they see the potential in their avoidant spouse or their
partner they see the potential and then they are able to uh not just sweep things under the rug
not make you feel like you're not important and like you don't matter that's what keep people who
are dating them hooked the fifth thing that they would do um i'm gonna pause because i'm gonna go
ahead and plug my book here if you haven't picked up my book fruit for seeds how i planted my seeds
for growth throughout separation and divorce this on amazon that link is in the description below
it's five bucks it's my story about how i got into the life and relationship coaching business
so the last thing they will uh apologize now this may seem like common sense like
something that you you should already know like you shouldn't even have to talk about but
for them apologizing makes them feel shameful and now i'm not trying to prove try to make it seem
like i know everything but this is just from what i've learned from people i've talked to
and from experiences that people have had well let's not forget you know the avoiding attachment
style is an insecure attachment styles which means they already feel like they can't bring anything
to the table i don't have anything to bring to the table in a relationship and that they don't know
how to operate inside the relationship so when you bring something up and you demand an apology
it's going to be really tough for them to do that because it's probably going back to when they were
always being blamed and always had to take the responsibility for the things that they did and
it's making them feel inadequate i know there's going to be people in the comment section like
yeah narcissists don't apologize either sure they don't either narcissistic tendencies
it isn't attachment style exclusive right you can overlap you can have an anxious attachment
style but also be a narcissist you know it there's an overlap so don't continue to compare them to
people that are you know have that character flaw you know attachment styles is an attachment style
character flaw is a character flaw you know that's that's a whole another avenue so
um so that's all i have for you and if you found this video of any value please
like comment and share reach out to me about the social media accounts twitter instagram facebook
is i am coach court tick tock is i.m.coach court thank you guys i will talk to you soon