- If you feel like somebody retracted
their attention from you,
maybe they're not texting you back,
maybe they're not reaching out as much,
this video's gonna be a game changer for you.
It's gonna help you understand more of the energy dynamic
and exactly what you can do to reel
the magnetic energy back, so that they either come around
or you're in your own frame and you don't even care.
Now, the first thing to realize about this dynamic
of wanting somebody to want you again
is that people feel what we feel about ourselves.
Now, if we are projecting out an energy
that says I want somebody else
and that also means I lack somebody else.
I lack that energy.
Because anything we want, we also lack.
We don't have it.
So if we're wanting someone else to want us again,
we're wanting someone to want,
then what that really is, is deep down,
it's searching for validation and it's searching
for approval from somebody else.
Now, the more we want something from somebody else
and the more other people can feel that off of us,
the less likely they are to actually give that thing.
And think about it, just energetically,
if somebody came up to you and said,
"I really want this from you."
Like maybe, I don't know, what would an example be?
Like one of those network marketers,
you see one of those network marketer things,
where it's like, come to my thing and it's like something
that's gonna get you into buying something else,
and you could tell that they really want you to go.
Well, the more they really want you to go,
you feel that you're almost like, no, I don't.
This thing doesn't feel right.
I went recently to Cabo and in Cabo when I got there,
someone was taking us to go see our room,
but they also have this timeshare option,
and I've seen it before.
I know about like when you go to certain hotels and stuff,
they want you to go to a free 90 minute breakfast,
because at that free 90 minute breakfast,
but which by the way,
this was already an all inclusive resort,
but at that free 90 minute breakfast,
they're also gonna give you
like three to $500 of spa credits or something like that
to get a massage, but at the same time,
I know what comes at the end of that.
Then to that 90 minute free breakfast,
they hardcore try to sell you into a timeshare
to make like a lifelong decision
to come to this like timeshare thing,
and the lady that was talking to us
was really, really eager.
She really, really wanted us to go,
and it's almost like she wouldn't take no for an answer.
And eventually I told her, I was with some friends,
I'm like, listen, I know what you're doing.
I know I had an ex-girlfriend
that was actually in that industry.
So I know about it.
I was like, we do not want to do it.
I was like, I will pay you.
I would pay to not go to that dinner
or to not go to that thing.
I'd pay more than three to $500 in spa credits to not go,
and then she got the point.
And the thing is though,
is when you really, really want someone,
especially, here's the thing.
When you really, really want someone else to want you,
it's in a way wanting a form of manipulation.
It's wanting them to want you,
so that you can get your needs met.
And what if this were the thing?
So there's two aspects to this.
One, giving ourselves the validation and approval
that we want in somebody else.
That'll change the game.
Because when you're looking for it on the outside,
a lot of times you'll attract people
that don't give you the validation,
just because that feels normal from childhood.
Normally, it's inner childhood need
that wasn't met as a kid, so then we attract people
that are similar to that mom and dad energy
of not giving the validation approval,
or we're projecting out needy energy
that's blocking them from giving,
like they would actually give you
that validation of support if you would just give it
to yourself and not need it.
Stop craving it from the outside.
So that's why this video's gonna show you
how to deal with both those energies.
Now, the first thing to realize as well about this
is if you would just let go,
let go of needing them to want you,
letting go of needing their validation.
You would have it.
That's the trippy thing.
This is simply about letting go of that.
When you don't care what other people think about you,
that's when most likely they will come around,
and they might think more positively,
but when you really, really want them
to think a certain way about you,
that's when the resistance is created.
That comes from the Alan Watts Backwards Law,
the backwards law and a backwards law
is something where the opposite is actually true.
That is what is the saying, it's like an acceptance,
wanting a positive experience is a negative experience.
Wanting a positive is a negative.
Accepting a negative is a positive.
So wanting someone to like you, to validate you,
or to give you approval is a negative experience.
Accepting your own self and not needing them
to give you approval validation is a positive experience,
whether they give it to you or not.
The more you want someone to like you,
the less they're actually inclined to like you,
because they feel that needy energy.
The more you accept yourself
and the less you care whether they like you or not,
and you're just yourself unapologetically,
the more you're gonna be in this energy that is attractive.
So the key to wanting them to want you again
is also realizing that this is all a projection of energy.
If we want someone to want us,
what that means is we aren't wanting ourselves.
We have maybe even abandoned ourselves
to get somebody else to like us.
That's a lot of times when the pleaser mentality comes out,
the people pleaser, where it's hard to set boundaries,
and you wanna change your center of gravity
to make others happy, because we want their approval
and validation.
The thing that changes everything
is when you bring the energy back,
bring the energy back into your body,
and realize that there may be a story there
that says that if they give you the love,
the validation, or the support
that mom and dad maybe didn't do, then I'll be good enough.
Then I can feel safe.
And a lot of times as well, this is a safety thing,
because as kids, maybe we didn't feel safe
just being ourselves,
so we thought we had to be differently.
We had to like merge ourselves into this way of being,
so that mom and dad would approve us.
And what then ends up happening is we end up losing
and abandoning ourselves to make other people happy.
And what most likely is happening now,
if you clicked on this video, is that that other person
you may be merging or moving your energy,
in order to get the other person to want you or to like you.
But the act of doing that in of itself
is what is repelling the love,
what is repelling the validation.
And the answer and the key
is to realize you could stop believing the story
that says you need their love, their validation,
in order to be happy.
To realize that if you were to stop abandoning yourself
and just give yourself permission
to be the most bold and authentic you,
you would be way more attractive and way more magnetic.
This is about pulling your energy back
and to stop giving away your power.
You don't need their love, of approval validation,
in order to feel empowered.
And the more you just give yourself permission
to be that version of you,
the more that will be magnetic energy.
There was a period of time where I was very afraid
of like setting boundaries with people,
very afraid of being the most unapologetic
version of myself, but the moment I decided
to be that version of me and to actually as well express
the true vulnerable me,
the true vulnerable me meant like being real,
valuing being real, and vulnerability,
and authenticity over validation approval,
and wanting other people to like me.
So what this is really about, I was reading a book
last night called "Atomic Habits"
and it talks about how like a lot of times
when people try to change habits,
what they do is they try to change the action.
I'm gonna change what I do,
but the real way to change your habits
that really sticks is to change the way you see yourself,
the identity-based behaviors.
Because once you do something a certain amount of time,
it changes the way you see yourself
and it changes your identity.
Now there may be an identity around,
and this is the part of the video that I think
could really change your life permanently,
and this is what changed for me
is I went from valuing, what other people thought of me,
I went from valuing other people's validation approval.
I went from changing my center of gravity
to make others happy, abandoning myself,
to realizing that that was a coping mechanism I was using,
in order to get my inner child needs met,
that weren't met when I was a kid.
So I would change my center of self,
I'd have trouble setting boundaries,
I'd crave other people's validation approval,
and that led to me feeling like I was just drained,
like I was running on empty, and it was like that
for a long period of time, because I was so,
there was almost like an afraid energy to go into tension.
I think that's a lot of times how people pleasers
are built by the way are like made.
They experienced tension in childhood
and they decided I don't want this tension stuff.
I'm just gonna make everyone else happy.
But it may take tension for you to go into experiences,
where you express the real you
whether people agree with it or not.
When you set boundaries with people,
it's like they may not like that you set boundaries.
That's okay, that's their shit, not yours.
And being able to go into tension does take courage.
However, when you do it,
you start to feel like there's a whole new world
that opens up.
It's like, wait, I can set boundaries with people?
Wait, I can express the real me,
and like, people aren't gonna get mad or reject me?
Or even if they do, that's their shit, not mine.
Because the truth is you can really only reject yourself.
And sometimes, we're fighting to not get rejected.
We're like, I don't wanna be abandoned again.
I don't wanna be rejected again, like I felt in childhood.
So one of the most powerful things you can do
to revert this energy back to yourself
is to bring the energy back
and to then start to take on the value
or the sense of identity that it is more important
for you to be vulnerable
and for you to be authentic
than it is for you to be liked
or to get validation approval.
Change that value within yourself.
Have that be the guiding principle,
the compass that you are following.
Because once I started to be more vulnerable and authentic
over validation approval, my life changed in many ways.
I started to value that virtue more.
Our virtues kind of make up our identity.
The things that we value,
values are kind of like virtues.
For a long time, I heard Tony Robbins talk about this
at his conferences and his books,
and it never really resonated with me until a certain point
when I realized that values are like belief systems,
like what we believe to be a true about ourselves
is reflected out, is projected out, and reflected back.
So if we believe we're not worthy,
if we believe we don't deserve love,
if we believe we can't hold on to love,
or like doesn't stay around,
these are all beliefs and stories
that we've adopted from childhood.
And therefore, that's the reflection that we get back,
because we believe it, but our beliefs are also tied
to our virtues.
If we believe that we're like the wounded,
a wounded victim from childhood,
then we'll act, and have, and attract people in our lives
to reflect that back to us.
So one of the most powerful things you can do
to revert this energy back is to literally bring the energy
back to yourself and not care whether they like you or not,
and to focus more on liking yourself,
and being in your own frame, and leading in your own life,
and developing a dope ass lifestyle.
Because that will be an energy that is projected out
that is way more powerful
than wanting or needed other people to think
or feel a certain way about you.
The truth is you are magnetic
when you are in your own frame.
You are magnetic when you aren't attached
to what other people think,
and being attached to what other people think
normally is because there was an attachment
to what mom and dad thought, which is normal.
I mean, it's a part of the process,
but at a certain point realizing,
oh, that's their stuff, not yours.
You don't need to be a certain way.
You don't need to be a doctor, and like do all these things,
in order for you to be loved and supported.
You could be yourself, give yourself permission
to be yourself.
And break the tie that you have to needing
that validation approval by giving it to yourself,
and by realizing that the more you give yourself
permission to be polarizing, to be yourself,
the more free you're gonna feel,
the more attractive your energy's gonna be.
And if you haven't heard, I am doing something,
where two or three times a week,
I text out my top epiphanies, books I'm reading,
and since I'm learning,
and if you want to text me your questions,
I've been putting these questions in YouTube videos.
All you do is you text me at 424-304-0104
or kick the link in the top of my description box below.
And I'll be answering those in future YouTube videos.
So text me your questions and then I'll text you
two or three times tops a week,
top epiphanies, and stuff like that,
and I can engage you with you there.
Now, also there is a video that will help you
to learn how to like why, when you let them go,
they always come back and how to have that magnetic energy.
It's one of my most popular videos.
Check out this video right here.
Why is it that when you want someone,
when you desire them, they feel that energy,
and it literally repels them away like a magnet.
However, the moment you actually let them go,
like right now as I do this,
these are really strong magnets by the way,
I gotta be careful.