Try this coffee and tell me what it tastes like.
- Hazelnut? - I don’t know. I found it in the garbage.
What is that thing anyway?
Oh, this is Cat's and my science project.
It’s a robot with hamster powered.
See, Mr. Hamster runs on this wheel and that creates electromagnetic electricity,
which flows through this transformer and powers the robot.
- Isn't it cool? - I don't know. All I heard was "hamster,
hamster, science, science, Tori's boring, kill me.
- You want a muffin? - Sure.
- You brought muffins? - Oh, no. I found it under the seat.
[coughing]
Are you gonna stop?
Nah, I’m still pretty thirsty.
Give it back!
Sure. Yeah.
- Here. - Thanks.
Ahh!
Hey!
Leave her alone.
- What are you gonna do if I don’t? - Oh, I might just go online… to the Slap.
- And unfriend you. - Ah!
- Oh really? - Two clicks.
One, to unfriend you. And one to confirm that I really wanna unfriend you.
- Can I help you? - Yeah, I got flowers for a Tori Vega.
Me? I wonder who would have sent me flower...
Abort! Those are Bush Daisies!
[screaming]
- Whoa, whoa, what’s up? - I am way allergic to Bush Daisies!
Like, if I get anywhere near them, my whole face starts swelling up and
I start sweating and shaking!
Well, who would’ve sent you Bush Daisies?
I don’t know.
Or maybe I do.
How did you even know I was allergic to Bush Daisies?
I do my research.
You looked up my medical records?
I’ll answer that right after you stick your face in those Bush Daisies!
Listen to me! I’m doing this play!
I auditioned! I got the lead! And I’m doing the it!
- I don’t care what you do! - Alright!
- Jade? - Correct.
- What are you here for? - You.
Wait!
- Do you have your new scissors with you? - No.
[sighing]
Don’t be shy.
Those are my old scissors.
- Okay. So what do you want? - Merry Christmas!
- You’re my secret Santa? - Ho ho!
Ho!
- So, what’s my gift? - An idea for a present to give to Andre.
- You have an idea? - A perfect one.
Awesome! Tell me!
Beg me.
[slurping]
Hmm.
[slurping]
No!
[slurping]
Worst night ever!
Oh, you think I’m having fun on this date? ‘Cause I’m not!
- Then let’s not talk! - Fine!
- You know… - Ah huh!
There is no good reason why you and I shouldn’t be able to sit here together
- and have a conversation! - I got a good reason!
- Which is? - I don’t like you!
Really? You can’t think of one thing that you like about me?
I like when you’re sad.
[sighing]
Okay. Try again. Reach deep down into your twisted, bitter soul,
and see if you can find anything nice to say about me.
Uh, okay.
Your singing… isn’t… awful.
Thanks so much.
Now, let’s hear you say something nice about me.
Sure.
Um, I admire how you’re never afraid to say what you think.
- That’s stupid. - See!
[grunting]
Hey!
This seems like a lot of pizza dough!
Are you sure you read me the recipe right?
Yeah, I said 4 cups of flour.
- You said 4 pounds of flour! - Oh! I meant 4 cups.
Oh, great!
[sighing]
Will you get up off your butt and help me make this stupid pizza?
[doorbell ringing]
- Ooh! I think that’s for me! - Who’s here?
Pizza! Comes to $16.50.
Why would you order a pizza when we’re making pizza?
Because I knew you’d fail.
- Tori! Tori, can you come here? - What?
- If you were my girlfriend… - Oh, great way to start the question!
Would you be all freaked out that I’m just friends with Alyssa Vaughn?
- Who cares what she thinks? - Honestly, I wouldn’t love it.
- I care what she thinks. - How can you say that? You don’t eve--
You know, I really don’t wanna be in the middle of this.
- No, you stay right here. - No!
You don’t think a girlfriend should just trust her boyfriend?
- No, I do. - Get outta here, Tori!
- I’d love to! - Stay.
Oh!
- Alright, you know what? - Tell me what.
- No, no, don’t tell him what. - We’re done!
- Jade! - So, you’re breaking up with me?
- No, no, no, no, she’s not. - Yeah, I am!
Oh, she is.
Ahh. Oh.
You.
- I’m sorry. I didn’t… - No, I’m sorry. I…
- I didn’t. I didn’t mean to… - No, no, no you didn’t. You…
Then why can’t we kiss?
'Cause.
‘Cause of Jade.
Jade and I broke up.
Yeah, but kissing your friend’s ex-boyfriend…
Wait, wait. Since when are you and Jade friends?
Last week, she took your hamburger, she just rubbed it against her bare foot.
What?
I ate feet meat?
[squealing]
And… she took your spot in the Platinum Music Awards.
Look. I mean, I guess Jade and I aren’t really friends, friends but we’re
kinda friends. I think. And…
kissing her ex-boyfriend…
I can’t do that to a friend.