You've heard the term narcissist bandied about and thrown around more than almost any other
term nowadays.
But do you think that you might be the dreaded narcissist?
By the end of this video, you'll know what the signs are and you'll be able to tell if
you are indeed a narcissist.
Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung, Top 1% Divorce Attorney and the bestselling author of the books Negotiate
Like You M.A.T.T.E.R and Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide.
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Now you've heard the term narcissist thrown around quite a bit.
And are you wondering, are you a narcissist?
Some people actually say, "What's the difference between being a narcissist and just having
self care and taking care of yourself."
I mean, you're supposed to be taking care of yourself, right?
You're supposed to be loving yourself.
So if you do that, does that make you a narcissist?
Okay.
So all of those questions are going to be answered right here in this video.
So the first time that you might be a narcissist is that you're a terrible listener.
You're you only want to hear anything about yourself.
You don't want to hear anything about anyone else.
In fact, even if you ask somebody something about themselves or ask them to tell you a
story or ask them what's going on, halfway through them telling you, you find yourself
and your mind is drifting, you really don't care what their answer is, you really don't
care what they have to say and you either have to force yourself to pretend like you
care and pretend like you're paying attention or maybe you just look the other way, maybe
you just start looking at your phone, maybe we even just walk away when they're mid sentence.
If you're having a conversation with someone that is important to you, maybe it's a spouse
or a significant other, and you want to talk about something that is a big decision or
something that you're supposed to be making a choice about together, do you really care
about what the other person's input is?
Do you really care what they want to do?
Do you really care what their concerns are?
Do you find yourself wanting to dismiss what they have to say?
Do you find yourself negating what they have to say?
Do you find yourself judging everything that they have to say?
Do you find yourself thinking that everything they have to say is invalid?
Maybe just ignore everything they have to say, or maybe you find yourself the whole
time they're speaking, getting ready to just jump in to explain what you have to say without
even really even listening to what their points are, or maybe the whole time they're talking,
you're just thinking that you want to insert the word, but, so that you can get back to
what your thoughts are and what you've already decided is the best way to go.
Sign number two is that, sorry is really the hardest word.
That you just have a really hard time apologizing, or maybe you have a really hard time taking
responsibility for your actions.
You just don't want to apologize.
Maybe you just don't ever think that you're wrong.
Maybe you're just always looking for the scapegoat.
You're thinking it's always somebody else's fault that something happened.
Even if you screwed up at work, there was some other reason for it.
Somebody else didn't do what they were supposed to do.
Or you're just always looking for a way to deflect it off of you.
Even if you do know that you were the one that was wrong, you're just looking for a
way to deflect it off of you.
Maybe you're deflecting it back onto the person that you did something to by blaming them.
Let's say, even if you cheated on that person, you can't say you're sorry, you can't find
it in your heart to apologize.
Maybe you push it back onto the other person and you say, "Well, it was your fault that
I cheated because of whatever reason."
So number two is, sorry seems to be the hardest word.
You have a very hard time apologizing or taking responsibility for your actions.
Or if you do apologize, you know that you're only apologizing or you're only in your mind
apologizing because it will manipulate the other person and get the other person to do
what you want them to do, or act the way you want them to or come back to giving you the
adulation and treating you with the value that you think that you should be treated.
So sometimes you apologize, but it's highly manipulative and not because you actually
feel sorry or any sense of remorse.
If you think this is you, or somebody who's like this, then give me an amen in the comments.
Number three is, do you struggle to feel the emotions of others?
Do you struggle to feel the needs of other people.
Do you feel like you see them, but you really don't understand them.
What their needs are and what their emotions are really doesn't register with you.
Do you find that you're watching them be upset, but either you're annoyed by it or even angered
by it because it's taking attention away from you and you just really can't put yourself
in their shoes and feel their emotions.
You can't feel their sadness.
Maybe when somebody is upset over the death of someone, you know that you're supposed
to say that you're sorry, and you're sending prayers, or you're sending hugs or something,
but you actually don't really feel anything for those people or you don't really necessarily
feel their pain.
The only really pain that you feel on a normal basis is your own.
And you're just filtering everything through, "What can I get out of this?
What's the best thing for me?
How do I get attention out of this?
How can I get adulation from this?"
Rather than looking to see, "How can I serve the needs of others or help others or feel
others pain, or actually feel their sadness?"
If you just can't as much as you know that in the back of your mind that other people
must feel that thing for other people, you just don't feel that.
And the next one is that you require constant admiration from others.
So if you feel that you constantly need other people to think that you're amazing, think
that you're wonderful and if they don't think that you're the smartest person in the room,
or they don't see that you're special, that you're valuable, you actually feel angered
by that.
You actually resent them for that.
And you feel like if they're not for you, then they must be against you.
So you feel like you have to retaliate against them for being against you.
You have to show the world that this person has no value because they don't see the value
in you.
You take things very, very personally.
You're extremely sensitive.
Even if somebody disagrees with your opinion at a dinner table, maybe they disagree with
your politics, then suddenly that person, there must be something seriously wrong with
them and they have to be judged and they have to be devalued and debased, maybe even destroyed
because they didn't see how amazing you were.
They don't understand how intelligent you are.
They don't think that your opinion is the most important one.
And because of that, they must be against you.
So if you feel that way, then you might also be a narcissist.
Another sign that you might be a narcissist is that you exaggerate your own talents or
your accomplishments.
So, maybe you've lied or you've cheated to get where you are.
Maybe you've lied about what kinds of job experience you have.
Maybe you've lied about the people that you've dated or the types of people that you've worked
with, or the types of clients that you've had, or maybe you're lying about the amount
of money that you have.
You are exaggerating your talents, you're exaggerating your accomplishments, you're
exaggerating the things that you've done, because you want people to think that you're
incredible, but you know that deep down inside, it's a lie.
You know that deep down inside that it's not true, but you have this coverup of the world
because it's really, really important to you that everybody thinks that you're the most
talented, the most beautiful, the most rich or the most successful and that you're getting
lots of attention for that.
If this describes you, then you may also be a narcissist.
So those are just some of the signs of being a narcissist.
If you have some or most of these signs, then hate to tell you, but you may be a narcissist.
So if you are a narcissist or you're getting ready to negotiate with one, you're definitely
going to want to download my, crush my negotiation prep worksheet, it's 15 pages, and it's totally
free.
It's basically an ebook.
So go ahead and grab that.
The link is below, or you can just go to winmynegotiation.com and get your copy.
And if you liked this video, give it a like, give it a share, drop me a comment, let me
know that you were here and don't forget to subscribe, hit that notification bell.
And if you are the one who is dealing with a narcissist and you want more help and more
support, come join me in my free Facebook group, Narcissist Negotiators by Rebecca Zung
and I will drop a link to that below as well.
I'm Rebecca Zung.
I'm so glad that you were here.
I'm so glad that you stopped by.
Remember that today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I will see you in the next video.