what did Paul realize after he saw the
Risen Jesus that all of that was getting
the spiritual life pretty much precisely
backward what's really at the heart of
it that God through a sheer grace in
Christ goes to the limits of God
forsaken us to find all of us sinners
everybody who's got a thorn in the flesh
everyone who feels weak and inadequate
everyone that feels unworthy God goes to
the limits of God forsaken us and in His
grace finds them
[Music]
well I'm just back from my I've lumina a
pasta lorem visit that's the visit to
the threshold of the apostles meaning
the tombs of Peter and Paul and then of
course a visit also with a successor of
Peter so the first day of the bloom you
know we went to the tomb of Peter the
last day we went to the tomb of Paul and
though I had been there before I found
myself just really an unexpected way
moved by that experience so we had mass
and all of us bishops who were in full
liturgical regalia with miters and
everything and then we went down after
massed what's called a confessor a
little area below the floor and there
you can see the sarcophagus of st. Paul
and there we knelt in this regalia
praying and I'll confess to you a
certain feeling not quite of shame but
of dis unworthiness as I knelt there in
the regalia of a bishop and thinking am
I in any way worthy to be called a
successor of the Apostles a successor of
st. Paul but then as I I prayed further
I thought it was kind of a maybe the
grace of the Holy Spirit I was reminded
of how often Paul himself felt unworthy
so the risen Jesus appeared to him and
he knew he was an apostle he'd been sent
but at the same time he felt I'm
unworthy of this because I've been a
great persecutor of a church
yes apostle to the Gentiles but he had
spent the first part of his life
studying the great tradition and then
and then persecuting the church so he
felt unworthy of it he also says that
even though he has a mission of
proclamation he felt that he wasn't
impressive in physical appearance and
especially in speech it's a bit like
like Moses you know felt that he wasn't
a proper spokesperson so Paul felt you
know why should I be given a Ministry of
proclamation and then a famous text
where Paul speaks about the thorn in his
flesh what was it you know a physical
ailment of some kind maybe
psychological struggle some kind maybe a
spiritual feeling of an adequate who
knows what it was but Paul says three
times I begged you Lord that you take it
away from me and that's kind of code for
I begged you over and over and over
again so this unworthy the suffering
figure incapable it seems that the task
II was given that was st. Paul and the
beautiful response to his prayer you
know about Lord take this away from me
and the Lord says know in your weakness
my power reaches perfection and so
Christ's grace is enough for Paul and so
in that moment I felt this kind of
identification with with Paul even in my
feeling of unworthiness it's what he
felt - and then think at the very heart
of Paul's theological teaching is it
teaching about the primacy of grace free
gift so the young Saul on fire zealous
he says for the traditions of his
father's had studied the tradition under
Gamaliel the great teacher and then sets
out on this career of fulfilling the
Jewish law so to the letter that he'd
become pleasing to God through his own
efforts becoming pleasing to a somewhat
difficult and distant God what did Paul
realize after he saw the Risen Jesus
that all of that was getting the
spiritual life pretty much precisely
backward what's really at the heart of
it that God through a sheer grace in
Christ goes to the limits of God
forsaken us to find all of us sinners
everybody who's got a thorn in the flesh
everyone who feels weak and inadequate
everyone that feels unworthy God goes to
the limits of God forsaken us and in His
grace finds that
that's the beginning for pall of a
properly ordered spiritual life I think
of a Paul Tillich the 20th century
theologian who sum this up by saying
accepting the fact that you've been
accepted even though you're unacceptable
that's what Paul would call
justification or being set right okay I
say it's the beginning of a properly
ordered spiritual life because now now
once you stand in the presence of that
grace what can you do and D Paul did it
is you can take everything in you your
strengths and your weaknesses and turn
all of that over to be in service of
Christ grace so did Paul abandon his
zeal no he turned it into zeal for the
proclamation of the gospel
did Paul abandon his intellectual
energies no you see them all over his
letters they're now in service of Christ
the Council of Trent talks about
justification but then increase in
justification and what do they mean they
mean
once we've surrender to the grace of
Christ now we can give everything in us
strength and weakness and find all of
that even more uplifted transfigured
elevated we're increased in our
friendship with the Lord so that's what
I get finally from that experience is as
I knelt before the tomb of Paul feeling
unworthy feeling inadequate okay so did
he
but turn that as well as what's strong
and good in me turn all that over to
Christ and let him use it for His
purposes
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