hi and welcome to this second in a
two-part series
on how to fix
the top 10 bad writing habits
in part one we covered nominalization
expletives
be verbs
weak modifiers and the dreaded deadwood
this video finishes off with five more
of these tips
okay here we go
first
try this fix
avoid negative statements
and here's why
writing whether it's business writing or
academic writing
really does benefit when the positive is
emphasized now this has nothing to do
with optimism on the sunny side here
we're talking about positive declarative
statements that make your writing more
definitive and more clear
there's this little 40-page book called
the elements of style that i think
everyone should have a copy of
the authors struck and white
point out the difference between a
sentence like
he was not on time very often
which contains that negative
and the sentence
he usually arrived late
which is a positive declarative
statement
the first is less clear and less
definitive
and white also provide this example
he did not think studying latin was much
use
and compare that to
he thought the study of latin useless
which is more definitive which has a
stronger point of view
you see the point is this
academic writing should be strong
it should be to the point
and positive statements communicate that
you know the facts
you have a clear viewpoint
now here are some common ways that that
negative knot
sneaks into our writing and i think
undermines it
first
not is often found along with expletives
such as it there
for example
it's not that we're ungrateful for all
you've done for us however
that sounds wildly insincere and
wishy-washy to say the least
is there gratitude or not
a clearer more definitive statement
goes ahead and eliminates that knot
we're grateful for all you've done for
us
however
you see that is clearer more definitive
more professional
next category
nots are often found with helping verbs
for example
the researchers did not consider
alternative explanations
in this case you delete the not along
with the helper verb
and that in turn gives you the ability
to give the sentence a strong active
verb
the researchers ignored alternatives or
the researchers disregarded
alternatives
again i highly recommend
the synonym finder as a valuable tool
during your revision process which is
what we're talking about here
finally and this is a really important
case too whenever you're giving
instructions
that positive declarative statement is
almost always going to be better
understood and more accurately followed
for example don't use the a12 form when
reporting overtime you almost have to
have a positive statement like use the
a24 form for instruction to to be that
instruction to be complete
okay
next writing tip
limit the distance between the subject
and the verb
why you may ask why that's a good
question and the answer is important
because the very basic unit of virtually
all english
is that subject verb and in that order
this one pattern
subject
verb object such as
jackie kicked the football
accounts for
the majority of sentences in english the
vast majority
so the closer the subject and the verb
can stay together
the clearer your sentence will be
look at these revision strategies
first
you can move any of these intervening
words to the front or end of the
sentence for example at the sole
discretion of the elective's executive
board
can be moved to the end
and provide a much clearer statement
by keeping that subject verb paired
together the club may continue
subject burn pair
a second issue is called noun packing
or info packing
and this i have to admit is the most
common problem i find in the writing of
non-native speakers of english in other
words sentences that are just too long
because the key is to remember the basic
structure of english
subject verb object
and as a writer all you need to do is to
master that structure and then repeat it
in short clear sentences
here's an example
a claim
which in the case of negligent
misconduct
shall not exceed five hundred dollars
and in the case of intentional conduct
shall not exceed one thousand dollars
may be filed with the office of the
administrator by an injured party those
are two very different ideas in that
sentence
where to file the claim and the amount
the claim should be
they therefore deserve two sentences
where the subject verb pair are clearly
connected
in our next step we're going to look at
eliminating unnecessary prepositions
did you know the chicago manual style
which is often called for better or for
worse the bible of american publishing
really only recommends one preposition
for every 10 to 15 words
for example
here's a 10 word sentence with two
prepositions
the rookie politician responded to the
unfounded allegations with great anger
now following the chicago rule
one of those prepositions has got to go
so you would write the politician
responded angrily to the allegations
without that extra preposition it's
clearer and stronger
now in this next example
i want you to notice how this 10-word
statement she was disturbed by the
violent images in the movie
gain impact when you eliminate that last
preposition
she was disturbed by the movie's violet
images and i want you to note that
making a noun possessive
to avoid a prepositional phrase
is a common technique for eliminating
these excessive prepositional
strings
for example here's another one
the number of wasp survivors after
spraying
was a reflection of the potency of the
chemical that's a very common kind of
academic construction that you're going
to see but it can be easily reduced to
the number of wasps from survivors after
spraying reflected the chemicals potency
you see how making a noun possessive
allows you to avoid that prepositional
string
now one revision tip
that you've no doubt heard probably too
often
is this one delete redundant words
unfortunately that advice is usually
given
without the other advice that helps you
identify
exactly what words are redundant and
what aren't
happy to oblige
the first category
is words that work well in speech
but they become redundant when they're
written
and i want you to keep in mind that it's
natural for us to use double words in
speech to emphasize our point as a
matter of fact that's why we say bye bye
instead of just buy
okay so here's an example from academic
writing
the professor's instructions were full
and complete
okay
sounds great but
what's the difference between full and
complete
one or the other will do just fine in
the kind of colder more analytic world
of writing
same for this sentence
the academic library
offered various and sundry articles on
the european renaissance
it just so happens that sundry literally
means a variety
so when it's written various and sundry
it's redundant
however
various and sundry is a speech idiom
that's been around for decades and it is
perfectly fine for speech but not in
writing
sometimes the doubling or the redundancy
is implied in the word choice
for example
gore-tex fabric has completely
revolutionized cold weather sports
completely
is actually implied in the word choice
revolution which means
fundamental or sweeping changes
but again saying completely
revolutionize it serves as well as an
intensifier in speech
here's another one
each individual fill in the blank
that is one that is often used in
academic writing especially
but again it just doesn't work that well
in writing
each individual student must submit a
copy of the presentation that is
redundant
because the word each
refers to individual members of a group
so one of those two words each
individual has got to go you can either
say each student
or individual students
finally i want to look at this category
of redundancy
and this is one that is important
especially in the revision process
because it involves our sentences
grammar
for instance uh in the sentence when
tame animals are cornered they can be
dangerous
the pronoun they
really does extend the sentence
unnecessarily and i think dilutes its
impact when you could write
when cornered
came animals can be dangerous
that's much stronger because it is not
diluted or strung out by that unneeded
pronoun
as always thank you very much for
watching if these tips to help please be
sure to check out this video that
contains the first five tips and don't
forget of course to hit that like button
that really does help when you do that
okay
see you in the next video