As the Democrats battle
for the nomination, Republicans are fighting back
with a very specific strategy,
and they're saving their fierce attacks
for one Democrat that isn't evening running.
Heng: Does Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
know the horror of socialism?
My father was minutes from death in Cambodia
before a forced marriage saved his life.
That's socialism.
I'm not outrageous, racist, nor socialist.
I'm a Republican.
You're an idiot.
Cambodians weren't killed by socialism.
They were victims of a genocide
inflicted by the communist Khmer Rouge,
which I initially thought
was the all-Asian sequel to "Moulin Rouge."
I -- I was very disappointed and very wrong.
Eh, not as much singing,
although Ewan McGregor was still heavily involved.
[ Laughter ]
Are voters really buying this?
It makes Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
sound like she wants to murder Americans in the street
when she actually sounds more like
a Central American mountain range.
"Tragedy today as a planeful of missionaries went down
over the Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.
A search for the wreckage found no survivors
but scattered Buttigieg."
[ Laughter ]
Republicans, you think the Democrats
who promote socialism are cut from the same cloth
as Joseph Stalin, Pol Pot, Ewan McGregor, Fidel Castro?
And -- And his friend on the T-shirt?
They all claim to be socialists,
so, of course, it gets a bad wrap.
I -- Look. I, too, grew up in a socialist country.
And I know too well what it can do to a society.
Let me show you what socialism looks like.
♪♪
The horror.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Now...
Now, socialism is shorthand for everything bad in the world,
and it's distracting us from talking about other things.
Right, legendary Dodgers announcer Vin Scully?
Scully: Socialism failing to work, as it always does.
This time in Venezuela.
You talk about giving everybody something free,
and all of a sudden, there's no food to eat.
Anyway. Oh and two.
Oh, Vin.
Always dropping some wisdom at the most awkward moments.
"You know, the greatest pitcher in Dodgers history
was Sandy Koufax.
Now, let me tell you something about his people."
[ Laughter ]
"Two out, bottom of the eighth."
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
The scare tactics work because people don't really know
what the word "socialism" means.
Plenty of our institutions are already socialized --
schools, roads, libraries, the military.
Yes, the military is socialist.
Servicemembers get free healthcare, housing, and food,
and we pay for it with our taxes.
The fire department.
Imagine a fire department that was privatized.
How would that look?
"Is your house on fire? Are you on fire?
Call me. I'm Dennis. I have a hose.
Don't be fooled by other fire departments
that claim to use water.
Our patented waterlike substance
will remove up to 70% of the fire on your home and/or body."
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Democrats who embrace socialism are trying to empower
the working class and get big money out of politics.
It doesn't mean the end of capitalism.
We can embrace both.
What we need is a new "ism" that's less scary
and combines the best ideas of all the ism's.
Since I've invented it,
we can call it Jimism -- or Jism for short.
Yes, it's a good name! It's a good name!
Jism! [ Cheers and applause ]
That'll get stuck in your head. And your hair.
[ Laughter ]
First we take the best things from socialism,
like free healthcare
and the bus that picks your kids up from school.
Then we add capitalism.
Some people will still get rich.
And communism -- some people will still get poor.
And then a touch of fascism.
They had the best uniforms.
Uh, next, uh, environmentalism,
where everyone gets a turtle.
And then there's anthropomorphism,
so those turtles can talk!
It's the best of everything. Everyone wins.
And that's Jism. It's coming.