- I tend to want somebody that's as crazy as I am
when it comes to havin' goals.
I'm attracted to goofy, down to earth, strong women.
With someone I can trust with my life.
- I'm looking for my partner to be career-driven,
financially stable, has manners,
and just is a good person.
If you have a beard, it's a plus.
- Your name is Darius and this your story.
You are 29 years old, for work, you are a manager.
You grew up in Maryland.
Your cultural or ethnic background is African American.
My name is Andrew, I am 32 years old.
I'm a construction worker, I grew up in New York,
and I'm Jamaican.
Your name is Ashley, and this is your story.
You are 25 years old, you're a waitress.
You grew up in New York, and you're black American.
- My name is Rebeckah, I'm 28.
I'm a production manager, I grew up in New York,
and my cultural background is I'm Jamaican.
- Word. - Yep.
- Didn't hear the accent.
- I was born here.
- Oh, okay. I was born in Jamaica.
- No accent either.
- Yes, English second language.
- Oh, ESL. - In elementary school,
they put you in that class
and they had to teach me how to pronounce the letter H.
One, two, tree, and then everybody
in the class would laugh affa me,
and said, "You mean three," and I said, "No, tree."
- Well, your English is perfect now.
- Ah, yeah. Yeah.
- Why did you think that I was a waitress?
- Ah, you got the whole waitress look.
- What does that mean?
- Um, "Hey, how you doin', can I take you-"
- Pleasant?
- Yeah, the pleasant, right.
- I could take that as a negative
because pleasantry, I think, could be anything.
I could be a teacher.
- But, more like a waitress, cuz you got that smile.
- You're not really winning me over right now.
- No, I'm sorry.
I didn't think waitress was a bad job.
- It's not a bad thing, just not my profession.
- I feel you, I feel you.
Growing up, it was a lot of struggle.
Coming from a dysfunctional family, Caribbean family
from Jamaica, we had to move around a lot.
I came here when I was six years old.
My mom and dad were both chefs.
We were homeless at one point,
and then we kind of worked our way back up.
It made me more adaptable to every situation I ever face
and I guess, if I feel like if something's gonna work out,
it's gonna work out.
- I was adopted at 15.
It was of course, a real struggle,
but it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I love my family.
Both my biological and my adopted family are Caribbean.
I grew up with my sister and lots of brothers.
The house is loud, there were people coming in and out.
Kids on top of kids and just, love,
and I hope to have that one day.
Your mom cooked most of the meals when you were growing up.
You call your mom at least one time a day.
The most challenging thing about bringing a partner
to meet your family would be introducing
and the overall first impression.
- Well, you're right about the first one.
Yeah, my mom, she does a lot of cooking.
I call my mom three times a day.
That's my homie.
The most challenging thing about bringing a partner
to meet my family is looks.
Believe it or not.
Yeah, cuz they're so picky on how the person looks.
- Your mom does most of the cooking.
You call your mom, say five times a day.
The most challenging thing about bringing a partner
to meet your family would be profession.
- My dad cooked most of the meals when I was growing up.
I call my mom twice a day.
We text, all day though.
- Oh, okay.
- The most challenging thing about bringing a partner
to meet my family would be the interview.
- Yeah, what does the interview mean?
- My family definitely interviews my partners.
That means what your job is, where your family comes from,
down to what kind of sneakers you like.
It would be 101 questions.
- Word. - Yep.
And what do you mean by looks?
What does that mean?
- Yeah, I'm not really too crazy
about how the person that I'm dating looks,
but my family, they're always like,
my dad will just stare, like, "Yeah, she good."
Or not.
So how do you think I would do in it?
- Half of my family would like you,
half of them wouldn't.
- Okay.
- They wouldn't like your job, to be honest.
- Hmm. Okay.
- What about me?
- Yeah, they'll love you.
Plus, you're Jamaican as well, so they will definitely-
- I'm not cooking for you.
- What?
No cooking?
- Nope.
I grew up with a man, did all the cooking in my house, so.
- You're lucky I'm a good cook.
Could teach you some things as well.
- Oh, I know how to cook, I just don't want to.
- Okay, alright.
- I have a lot of thoughts on my culture.
It's very old-school and traditional.
I just want to take the good parts and make it more modern.
Selfishly, I want him to make more money than me,
but I'm not going to be quiet
and let him make all the decisions.
It needs to be like, 60/40.
Which of course, me 60, and him 40.
- The last time I fell in love was seven years ago.
It was like what you watch in the movies, a fairytale.
We held hands when we were driving,
years went by, not one fight, like I was happy.
I found out the hard way that when you're in love,
and you do something stupid,
you're gonna end up regretting it for the rest of your life.
You would feel most fulfilled working
as the CEO of a big company.
An appropriate number of hours to spend working
per week is 40 hours.
In 10 years, you want to have a big family
and your own business.
Of course, traveling the world.
- Wow, looks like you're getting to know me.
- Okay, cool.
- I would feel most fulfilled working
as an activist and a socialite.
An appropriate number of hours to spend working is 50.
There's no such thing as too many hours, work harder.
In 10 years, I hope to be married, four kids,
pop out three, adopt one.
In a brownstone, in Manhattan, in Harlem.
Dual citizenship in another country
where we fly back and forth.
- Aw, sweet.
- Your turn.
You would feel most fulfilled when you're working
and making money.
An appropriate number of hours
to spend working for you is 45.
In 10 years, you want to be wealthy,
with a small to medium family,
married and happy, somewhere in New York City.
- I'd be most fulfilled, yeah, when I'm financially stable.
I hate being broke, you know.
- Who wants that?
- An appropriate hour to spend working would be 40 hours.
Cuz I don't think people should just work.
You need some time to live.
If you always have work, you can't live.
Basically, you go to work and go home, and go to sleep.
In 10 years, that's like really dead on.
- Really? - Yeah.
The wealthy part too, yeah, so dead on.
- I like how you caught that
and you missed everything else.
- No, the family thing of course.
When you grow up in a big family,
you tend to like that big family atmosphere,
cuz a whole bunch of little ones being themselves,
the little individual selves,
running around, trying to figure out life.
- Yeah, I can't imagine not having siblings or cousins.
It just teaches you so much like sharing,
and how to deal with other personalities,
and I want my kids to learn that naturally in my home.
- Sweet.
- What kind of relationship are you looking for
at this point in your life?
- In this point in my life, I'm looking for,
I have an open state of mind when it comes to relationships.
- I'm sorry, excuse me? What does that mean?
- Yeah, meaning like I believe in open relationships.
- Oh.
- I wanna give that person that I'm dating
the option of going out there
and hopefully finding someone better than me.
Not saying, I go out, looking for someone
better than the person I'm talking to,
but I always keep an open mind
if I do run into someone and talk to that person.
I've seen it work.
- But you're single right now?
- Recently, it worked for me.
Cuz like I said, I get to the point where I get
bored...
- Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there.
I respect that, and I totally get that,
and it's what you want.
It is kind of not realistic that you're gonna keep dating
people with this open relationship
and think you're not gonna get bored,
because even when you're in love,
and you've been with someone forever,
you're gonna get bored.
That's working through a relationship,
that's where you have to work hard
because a relationship is about hard work.
I just can't imagine looking for someone else
while I'm with someone at all times.
It would break my heart,
and I hope that the person that I'm with
would be content with just me.
- I understand that.
Having an open mind doesn't mean I'm going out
and I'm looking for that person.
I'm waiting for that person to stop me from doing that.
Cuz if I'm like, "Oh, man. I'm head over heels
for this person,"
I'll stop what I'm doing and keep my full attention
on that person.
I know it's weird.
When I first saw you, I said that I would date you.
I like your smile, it's very beautiful.
After the conversation,
I still said I would date you,
because I see that you're very strong-minded
and you're family-oriented,
and that's always a plus, coming from a big family,
and that you're smart.
- So, when I first saw you, I said, I would maybe date you.
Because I liked your beard.
I don't know, I liked how you looked,
but I never go on a date with someone just because.
I have to get to know you a little bit.
And then, when I did get to know you,
I said I would not date you,
and the reason why I would not date you,
it all goes back to our last conversation
about you having open relationships.
Everything else was great,
family, we're both Caribbean, we're both from New York.
Everything was going well until you broke my heart.
- I don't know, I guess I'm onto something
that not a lot of people is onto,
cuz I'm no gonna be insecure or worrying about
what the person that I'm talking to is doing.
- But this has opened my eyes
that a lot of men may feel this way.
- Yeah. - Or people in general.
Just keep an open mind that the other person might
be the one, and you're just looking right past them
to the next one.
- That's true.
- I hope you find your love.
- Thank you, I hope you find yours too.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you too.