-I'm very happy to have you here now,
because you've been here before around Halloween.
You are a fan of Halloween.
-I am. -And --
-Well, yes. -You...
[ Light laughter ] I know your youngest son
is maybe -- is he maybe outgrowing needing you?
-No, I mean, yes.
I mean, he's not outgrowing Halloween at all,
But he's certainly outgrowing me.
-Gotcha. -Which is sad.
-Do you like trick-or-treating? -Yeah, no, I love --
Yeah, no, I love Halloween.
I've just been doing it for so long.
I have a 30-year-old, and then I have an 11-year-old,
and I have a 26-year-old, so I've never not --
-Did you space them out like this to have more Halloweens?
-For Halloween. [ Laughter ]
-Yeah, yeah. -For Halloween.
-Yeah. -I mean, it's just
how it turned out, in terms of Halloween.
-But you knew right away.
You were like, "This is great for Halloween reasons."
-Yeah, "This is going to work out."
-Yeah. -Yes. I mean, you know,
as soon as the last one started to get a little bit older,
I realized we better start working
on the replacement for Halloween.
[ Laughter ] -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-But, anyway, last year, he --
last year, my youngest son, you know, said,
"Dad, you know, I don't really need you to" --
"Papa" he calls me -- "I don't really need you
to go trick-or-treating with me."
I was devastated, really. -Yeah.
Did you -- Had you already bought a costume for yourself?
-Well, I've always had a costume around the --
-The house? -Yeah.
-Yeah. -I mean, we have a -- yes, yeah.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
No, there's always been dress-up corners...
-Yeah. -...in the houses.
-That makes sense.
You have a theater background. There would be --
-But, also, back to my childhood, Halloween was great.
I grew up on a boarding-school campus.
My father was an English teacher.
So it was a very sort of secure environment.
So we were actually able to go out trick-or-treating
at a much earlier age.
You know, we weren't really going through a neighborhood.
We were going through -- across a school campus.
You knew everybody you were running into, you know?
-A perfect place.
-A perfect place for trick-or-treating early.
And, also, it was at a time, you know, in the '60s
where parents were a little bit more like,
"Where are the kids?" -Yeah.
-"Oh, they're out trick-or-treating."
I mean, they really didn't even know what we were up to.
-Gotcha. -I don't think my parents
ever really knew... -What you were really up to.
-...what I was up to. -Yeah. Did you get in trouble?
Did you take advantage of the fact
that your parents didn't know and get in trouble?
-Well, I mean, I was so pathetic, actually.
There was -- [ Light laughter ]
I think I had sort of heard with other friends that, you know,
that somehow egg throwing was involved...
-Yeah. -...in Halloween
or soaping things up and everything.
But we didn't really relate to it in any way.
I just don't remember really having
a real frame of reference for that.
Like, really, what you do with the egg --
Like, what are you gonna egg, you know?
-Yeah. -We're not gonna egg other kids,
'cause we know all the kids are our neighbors.
And, frankly, we're walking around with them.
-Yeah. -You know?
So who are you going to egg? -Yeah.
-So anyway, one -- I remember the first Halloween
where we were gonna get into trouble.
-Okay. -Like, that was by design.
-So you -- and that thing where, as young kids,
you sort of decide weeks in advance,
"We're gonna cause some trouble."
-There's conversation about it. -Yeah.
-You know? [ Laughter ]
-The sort of anticipation of the trouble,
I think, as a young kid is more exciting.
-No, absolutely. No, that's the whole of it, really.
-Yeah.
-And so, there was some discussion of the soaping.
We really didn't understand.
-I still don't understand soaping.
-I don't understand soaping. Anyway...
So, we didn't understand that, but the eggs, I guess --
My only -- I love eating eggs. -Yeah.
-And then I knew for the egg --
the egg toss on the 4th of July.
-Right. -I knew about that.
-Were you concerned at any point that you thought
egging was preparing eggs for people to eat?
[ Laughter ]
-Yes. -Leave an omelet...
-Yes. -...and ring the doorbell.
-Yeah. And then they step in it.
-[ Laughs ] Yeah, they step in an omelet.
-Anyway, so -- so -- anyway, we went out with some eggs.
-Yeah. -It was so pathetic.
-What did you end up doing?
-So, we go out with some eggs, and we're taking them with us.
And I don't even know how we were carrying them.
But, you know, clearly, it was a lot of like, "Ooh!" you know?
-Yeah. -With the eggs.
[ Light laughter ] And we took them.
And we went to the Perkins house.
I mean, Mrs. Perkins -- I had sort of a crush on Mrs. Perkins.
I thought she was so -- I mean, I don't know.
Maybe the whole egg of it all was probably like, you know,
how you'd, like, kick the girl you liked
sort of in the shins... -Yeah.
-...at the playground. -You were --
You were using the egg to flirt. -I guess.
-Yeah. -I don't know.
I thought she was great, you know?
I really -- -You were hoping she'd wake up
and go, "Oh, eggs!"
[ Laughter ]
-I guess. I don't know what.
I just -- I guess I just wanted attention.
-Yeah. -Maybe I wanted to go to,
like, Mrs. Perkins' jail or something.
-Oh, I see, right, yeah. -Or I don't know what, but...
[ Audience oohs ] Anyway, so...
Anyway, so... -[ Laughs ]
-...we go to trick-or-treat... -Yeah.
-...at her house or something.
And we didn't even, like, throw the egg.
We sort of like dropped it.
I'm not even sure, to be perfectly honest with you --
I mean, it's a long time ago --
I'm not even sure if maybe we dropped it by accident.
-I see.
-I mean, it really could have been as pathetic as that.
-And then played it off as like --
-"Oh, we egged her doormat." -Right.
[ Laughter ] -It's like...
Anyway, I know an egg, you know, broke on her doormat
or whatever the hell it was.
Well, so, then, we leave that house,
and we head off.
And everyone knows the next house.
I mean, she knows the next house.
It's the one that's right up the road, you know?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-And, of course, the next house is the McVays' house.
And Munk is with me, you know?
My -- He's one of my best friends, Munk McVay.
It's his family who we're going to next.
Well, we show up there.
And his mother is there at the door, like,
"Mrs. Perkins called." [ Laughter ]
"You get back there and clean it up."
[ Laughter ] And I -- It was so depressing,
as, you know, we get there,
and she's standing there with this...
beautiful smile on her face... [ Applause ]
-Yeah. -...and a roll of paper towels
in her hands, you know? -Yeah, yeah.
-I mean, it was pretty pathetic.
-You guys did not think through this crime at all.
-No, I'm a terrible criminal. -Yeah.