Another question. Hi Tripp. I like to dedicate my Saturday and Sunday afternoons to approaching.
If I work a Saturday, I'll go out immediately afterward, even if I smell and look like a walking
construction site. Ironically, when I've done this, I find success. I think it's the mindset.
I don't care about the result. I'm just talking to people. Not to mention I'm very proud of what I
do. However, when I'm dressed to the nines, I feel anxious. Like an imposter maintaining a facade.
How can I adopt the indifferent but positive mindset I have
in dirty carhartts when I'm in a nice button up? All the best, Alex. I want to
read that last sentence again. How can I adopt the indifferent but positive mindset I have in dirty
carhartts? I think I'm saying that right. When I'm in a nice button up.
Okay. So clearly, you're more confident and more comfortable when you're in your work outfits.
It's interesting. You're saying you find success. I don't know... what what do you want to change?
Sounds pretty good to me. Sounds like you're doing what you're meant to do. But maybe you're saying
here, you think that if you had time to go out and you weren't because there's times when you
want to go out to approach and you're not in your work clothes and you are dressed up. Why
don't you just dress chill? I don't think you need to necessarily dress to the nines.
You don't need to go out in a suit and tie. I'm curious what your definition of dressed to the
nines is. Maybe that is not that big of a jump for you because you smell... your words, you
smell and look like a walking construction site. So yeah, maybe dress a little bit more casual
to make you feel more comfortable. That's one way to do it. There's three avenues here. One,
you're doing great. Keep doing what you're doing. I don't know what you need to change.
Option two, wear something more casual to make you feel more comfortable so you don't
feel dressed to the nines so it doesn't feel like you're an imposter maintaining a facade.
And there's option number three, for the next three months only go out wearing nice clothes.
Because right now you don't feel confident because you don't have any competence
in wearing those clothes. It feels strange. You feel like an imposter maintaining a facade because
why? Because you're wearing clothes that you don't normally wear so it's not normal to you.
How do you change that? You make it normal. Make it normal. Wear those clothes, wear
them throughout the week, wear them... go home and before you go out and approach, take a shower, put
that on, and then build the confidence inside of being a person who wears those kinds of clothes.
That's how you would do it. And I would even recommend that you do that because I believe
it's always better to learn in the hardest circumstances because then you'll end up doing
better in the long run. So for you that's dressing up really well. That'd be pretty cool if you could
learn how to then meet women in all different areas. And you can start with the hardest one.
Confidence comes from competence. Competence comes from taking action.
Taking action starts with putting on, for you, putting on clothes
that make you feel dressed up and going out and doing it every single weekend, Saturday,
Sunday, Saturday, Sunday. Go home, take a shower, don't smell and look like a walking construction
site and get better at that approach. That way you have the superpower Alex, the superpower
to what? To go out anytime anyplace whenever and be able to meet women. That's the ultimate.
I'd encourage you to do that. I'd encourage you to get into the nice clothes and start practicing.
You... guys... really important here... a really big lesson here. The human brain is
amazing at adapting. Amazing. What we can do, what we can accomplish in athletics,
in other skill sets, in games, even in an instrument. You ever play an instrument for
the first time and it feels so weird putting your fingers on the guitar strings or the piano keys,
but then all of a sudden you do it for like a year and you can do with your eyes closed?
All that is is you being adaptable. There was a time when I was freaked out to go and
approach a woman. The anxiety was so bad, I could feel my heart bursting out of my chest.
And what did I do? I didn't take a magic pill. I went out and I started
approaching and I did it and I went through the hard work and now look, I'm teaching it.
I'm teaching it and I even have videos of myself doing approaches with with no fear at all.
Why? Because I worked to that point. I got to that point.
Anyone can do that. I'm no more special. I just had the work ethic. And anyone can
encourage themselves to also have the work ethic to push themselves to do things that
are uncomfortable. Alex, hope that motivates you. Hope that gives you a good answer.