- You are not lazy
and you're actually not even unmotivated,
you just need to address the subconscious blocks
that keep you stuck.
So watch this video.
I'm going to answer your questions,
and show you how to rewire your mind
for amazing productivity.
Here's a question that's just come in,
I'm going to read it straight off my computer
and answer it for all of you,
because I believe we all share the same issue.
So here it is,
"Hi Marisa, I took a low-paid, low-effort job a year ago
"as a temporary fix,
"but I'm now finding it so hard to motivate myself
"to apply for a job that would challenge me.
"I don't want to settle,
"but everything in me seems to want to stay comfortable.
"How can I change this?"
Well, first of all, you need to understand human nature.
We are hard-wired to keep going back to what is familiar
and to resist what is unfamiliar for one reason only.
100 years ago, 500 years ago, that made us safe.
Imagine you lived in a fort on a prairie,
you weren't going to wander off
and try and meet some other people
because they might kill you.
So our mind fears change,
and we fear change for several reasons.
First of all, "What if I change
"and it's a change for the worse?
"What if I can't control the direction of change in my life?"
And we settle in a relationship,
we settle in a career,
"I don't love this job,
"but, hey, what if the next one is worse?
"What if I lose all the benefits I've built up in this job?"
So you need to really start to dialogue with your mind
and understand what you're doing.
I tell people all the time,
because it is so true. To understand your mind
understand this,
your mind does what it thinks you want it to do.
Every time you say to a friend, "Well, you know,
"the security is good and I like getting holiday pay,
"and I don't love this job, but it's really easy,
"it doesn't challenge me," you're telling your mind,
"Actually, I want to stay where I am."
You're finding it hard to motivate yourself.
Here's a classic mistake people make.
They believe that motivation will appear,
one day they'll wake up motivated.
That simply isn't true.
In order to be motivated, you have to take action.
Action comes before motivation.
Motivation doesn't come before action.
The good news is you said that you actually
don't want to settle,
but you want to stay comfortable.
Here's some advice,
I want you to make what is comfortable, uncomfortable,
and what is uncomfortable, comfortable.
So look at what you're saying,
"I'm comfortable.
"I'm safe here.
"It's safe, it's comfortable."
And you need to decide that that's not good enough.
Imagine 10, 15 years down the line
you're still in this safe, comfortable job.
The fact that it's safe and comfortable,
make it uncomfortable.
So you need to decide, "Okay, what kind of job do I want?"
Start exciting your imagination.
"What would make my heart sing?
"What would challenge me?
"What would make me grow?
"What would excite me?
"What would I be proud of saying to my friends
"and kids and family I am doing for a living?"
As you begin to excite your imagination
and really make that a goal,
you'll start to think of ways to go out and find that job.
So often we resist change in case we're not safe,
but it's not enough in life to be safe.
You need to be challenged.
You need to take a risk.
Here's the truth,
the only risk in life is never taking a risk.
That's the biggest risk of all.
So remember, you fear what's unfamiliar, that's normal.
And here's how to overcome that so well.
You need to start dialoguing with your mind,
"Hey, mind. I want to make applying for a new job familiar.
"I want to challenge myself, to stretch myself,
"to do something out of my comfort zone.
"And I want to make that familiar,
"super familiar, so familiar.
"And I want to make settling really unfamiliar,
"and even uncomfortable."
Because what you're doing is you're reversing it,
"I'm comfortable staying where I am.
"Why don't I start thinking about that
"as really uncomfortable?"
Life is too short to settle.
Life goes by so fast.
You want to look back and say,
"Gosh, I'm so glad I left something comfortable,
"stepped outside my comfort zone,
"and found something that challenged me."
And when we talk about settling,
often we go, "Well, you know, I'm just lazy.
"I'm just not motivated.
"I just haven't got it in me to do something about it."
And when you give yourself these labels
you cause yourself to feel shame.
You're not lazy,
you just haven't really fully understood
that you are directing your mind
and telling it you want to stay put,
when, actually, you do not want to stay put at all.
So don't ever say, "I'm lazy.
"I'm stuck.
"I just don't have any motivation.
"Frankly, I can't be bothered.
"I just don't have the skillset to change.
"It's too much effort to change."
Never do that.
Every word you say is a blueprint that your mind
and body start working on and acting on to make real.
"I'm lazy,"
if you say that enough, you'll start to act
and react as someone who is lazy." You're not lazy,
you just didn't know until right now
how to dialogue with your own mind, to be motivated,
to be directed, to be passionate,
to be excited about change,
and willing to do what it takes to change.
So forget about what you haven't done until now.
The past is gone.
You're now in the present.
And if you make the present and the future exciting,
you will move towards it like a laser.
So focus on what you need to do.
How can you excite your imagination
to find applying for a new job compelling
and something that you must do that is irresistible?
What language can you use?
What images can you look at?
Look at the kind of job you want and go, "I'm doing that.
"That job has my name on it."
How can you build the confidence to go for interviews?
Well, these are steps that you can do when you decide.
Decision means to cut off from decide,
to stop labeling yourself as lazy,
to stop using the word "comfortable"
and "unmotivated," and to use opposite words,
"I'm motivated.
"I'm energetic.
"I'm dynamic.
"I'm committed.
"I am changing my career.
"I'm so motivated to do that,
"and I will do whatever it takes to do it."
When you say those words,
your mind has such a clear picture
and it will move you towards what you want,
and it will do it very quickly.
So now you know what to do,
go out and get a great job that stretches you,
motivates you, excites you,
and makes you feel good about yourself.
So here's another question,
"Hey, Marisa. I started working for myself a few months ago,
"but I struggle to start early in the morning
"and I tend to slack
"if I know that nobody is checking up on me.
"Why have I suddenly become lazy?"
Well, you see, something that really helps you
go after your goals is to understand
that to get what you really, really, really want
requires you to do what you don't want to do.
"I want to have a six-pack,
"so I've got to go to the gym
"and really put myself through painful sit-ups.
"To get what I want, the six-pack,
"I've got to do what I don't want, which is working out.
"To get what I want, running my own business,
"I've got to do what I don't want.
"I don't want to get up early,
"but I do want a super successful business."
So you need to start really turning your mind on
by, "I want this so much, I will do whatever it takes."
Before you go to bed at night you need to say,
"I can't wait to get up super early
"and apply myself to my business.
"This excites me, it thrills me, it empowers me."
Remember, the way you feel about everything, bar none,
is actually down to the pictures you make in your head
and the words you say to yourself.
When you wake up, you go, "Oh, it's so comfortable here.
"I need another hour.
"I want to stay in bed
"and then look at my phone and mess around."
To do that, you have told your mind you want to do it.
And now tell your mind other things,
"I love jumping out of bed early.
"I never feel right until I'm applying myself to my business.
"When I get up early, which I do every week day,
"and apply myself to my business, I feel fulfilled.
"I feel motivated.
"I feel amazing."
I've written several books
and I had to go, "There's nothing I want more than to get up
"and write that book," that wasn't even true.
Of course, I wanted to stay in bed
and drink a cup of coffee and lay there,
but I understood, and you must too,
that your mind doesn't even know if what you tell it
is true or false, helpful or not helpful.
And you have the power to say things,
"I want this, I've chosen it."
Imagine if you were a Marine,
you wouldn't go, "Oh, I don't want to run, it hurts my knees.
"I'd rather be at home."
Marines sing, "Bring it on, I can do this, I'm a Marine."
They are constantly having a dialogue with their brain
that goes, "I want it, I love it."
And even though it isn't true,
the most amazing thing is it becomes true.
So imagine, if you were a super successful,
dynamic business person running your own business,
what would you say to yourself every day?
"I can't wait to get started.
"I'm excited to get going."
Wake and have your alarm clock play that song
by The Black Eyed Peas, "Let's get it started in here,"
because that sends a message, "I'm ready, I'm excited."
You see, we so often just fail to understand
that the way we feel about anything
is down to the words we make.
And all we have to do is change those words.
That sounds simple because it is simple.
And when you change the words, you stop resisting.
You see all these kids who can't get out of bed.
On Christmas Day, they're up at three a.m.
because they have a different thought,
"Gifts, there's gifts downstairs, I want to wake up."
You can't get your kid up
except the day you're going on holiday,
or on their birthday.
So look at the times you've lept out of bed early
and think, "What was going on then?"
In April this year, I got seven little, abandoned kittens.
I'd wake up and think,
"I need to go and feed those kittens right now."
They needed feeding every few hours.
I'd walk in the room, and they were climbing up my legs,
they would leap in the air.
And I started to link so much pleasure
to getting up super early, but not just getting up,
getting out of bed, going downstairs,
feeding these seven tiny, little things
that would have died if I hadn't.
And that was very different, they're not kittens now,
I don't have to do that.
But you're beginning to see the picture.
If you tell your mind, "I can't wait to get out of bed,
"I can't wait, I'm so excited, I'm so ready,"
you'll get up early with passion and motivation.
So take a moment and think about your goal.
What is your goal with your business?
What are you prepared to do?
And here's something else that is super important
when you run your own business.
You mentioned, "If no one's watching..."
You see, we so often like a boss, "My boss is watching.
"My boss is assessing.
"My boss comes up and goes, 'Hey, well done.
"'You did a great job today.'"
But many of us work for ourself, there is no boss.
And you have to build your own praise muscle,
your own assessing muscle.
You may need to get someone you can be accountable for,
an accountability buddy that you speak to every week
and say, "Hey, I did this, and I did that."
When I was getting my first book published,
I got an accountability buddy, an accountability group.
And funnily enough, they were called my "Peer group,"
great name. And I had to account to them every week,
and that made me finish that book,
when it's so easy to go, "Oh, well, I'll do that later.
"I'll just delay it a little bit."
When you have to account to someone,
it stops you being lazy.
So you can imagine people are watching you.
Imagine your clients, your customers,
your accountability buddy is watching you.
You are your own boss; watch yourself.
When I'm during therapy with clients,
I occasionally imagine I'm being watched by an audience,
and it makes me work even better to sort out that client
if I imagine somebody is watching me.
And that's something anybody can do, so do that now.
Be accountable to yourself, and say,
"I have decided to be the very best, to do whatever it takes,
"and to imagine I am being assessed,
"and I like being assessed," and it will make you work better.
Here's another question that is so applicable
to so many of us,
"Hey, Marisa. I can never motivate myself
"to do important tasks, like tax returns, insurance renewals,
"or even getting my car fixed.
"It's got me into difficult situations at times.
"How do I overcome procrastination
"because I always find something better to do instead?"
Well, again, it's the same question.
When you go, "I don't really want to.
"Oh, it's so boring doing taxes.
"It's so boring renewing my insurance.
"It's so boring getting my car papers sorted out."
You've told you mind, "I don't want to do this."
And you have to tell your mind the opposite.
Your mind should be working for you,
like the most phenomenal PA.
And here's another thing that human beings don't understand,
we come onto the planet wired to work for rewards.
And we all know, with our children, we go,
"Well, if you tidy your room, you can have an ice cream.
"If you do your homework, you can go out to play." At school,
we have work, recess, work, recess,
because we learn the rewards.
One of the best things you can do is go,
"Okay, I usually have a lovely cappuccino at 11
"or maybe I snack on peanut butter and apple slices at 10,
"but I am going to wait for that.
"That is my reward.
"I can only have that when I've done my tax returns,
"or at least started them
"because they may be a few days in the going."
Maybe you're going to call a friend,
or watch something on television.
And you say, "That is my reward.
"When I have done my tax returns,
"I reward myself with a gorgeous lunch, a wonderful snack,
"a bit of screen time, calling a friend,
"watching a favorite movie."
Now you have wired yourself to get a reward.
And human beings work really well when they have a reward.
When you go, "Well, you know what?
"I've got to do my taxes but
"I'm just going to have dinner,
"call my friend, take some screen time,
"and then watch my favorite film, and then I'll do my taxes."
You and I know that you won't do them
because you just took the reward before you did the chore.
And now there's no point in doing the chore.
And once you start to wire your mind to delay gratification,
to take simple things as a reward,
it becomes really, really exciting.
Often, we wake up and think, "I don't want to get up.
"Ah, I've got this amazing yogurt in the fridge.
"I need to get up and have that for breakfast."
Sometimes that excites us.
And because that's a part of human wiring,
you can use that to your benefit.
So think of the things you don't really want to do
and say, "I want to do them.
"That feeling when I've sent off my tax return is amazing,
"that feeling when all my insurance is done.
"Well, I feel secure and safe and proud that I did it,
"and I reward myself for every little chore."
When you do that, you cannot help but become a winner,
because delaying gratification, delaying the reward,
rewarding yourself after event and not before
is one of the marks of very, very successful people.
They all do that naturally, or unnaturally, and you can too.
I had to learn that, and you can learn it.
And when you learn it and apply it,
it will absolutely change your life.
See, nobody really wants to tidy up their closet
or clean their house or even empty the dishwasher.
Sometimes, when I'm going to bed at night, I think,
"Oh, I've got to stack the dishwasher,"
but it makes my husband really happy when he wakes up
and it's all done, because we have a thing.
I fill it, he empties it.
If I don't fill it at night,
he's not going to empty it in the morning.
And so I link pleasure to that.
And it becomes so easy to link pleasure
to things you don't want to do, because you can choose.
See, some people link pleasure
to putting a needle in their arm, they're having tattoos.
Some people link pleasure to long-distance running.
You can choose anything.
You could link pleasure to lifting really heavy weights
that hurt you, or not.
That is one of the amazing things about human beings.
We're the only creatures who can choose
what to link pleasure.
I can't put my kittens in a bath and go, "Isn't this great?
"The bubbles, it's all Jo Malone."
They are wired to hate water.
But I can choose, and you can choose.
And when you choose what to link pleasure to,
your life will be extraordinary.
So start right now,
because I can only tell you the truth; it works.
And what's more, it always works,
and it works really fast too.
If you would love to have
a better understanding of your mind
so you can really live the life you want to live,
then go ahead and watch my free masterclass,
'I Am Enough,' in the link below.