oh
wow um what can i say
um please lower your expectations
it's not gonna be that good what the
hell am i doing up here i haven't done
this in a long time
a lot of people don't like dates like i
hate dating i hate dating
i like dates dates are cool because a
date means
someone is considering you
they have like ponder it's just
anybody you can eat with you might have
a chance of
so and they're just pondering
you
they're weighing it in their head
they're going oh the girls are going
his dick my mouth and even if it doesn't
happen you just feel
i feel good any day somebody thinks
about you it's a good day
that's the thing with women like they
don't no matter what you do for a woman
if it doesn't end in marriage this was a
waste of time
i don't care what you do for her you
could got her a job
you know cured her diabetes
taught her how to read or if it's over
and you don't marry us
i can't believe i wasted my time with
you you in your letters
you could have been married with
diabetes by now
what can i say um well i said don't make
any major decisions
after a
you know let the blow job wear off
then you figure out what you want to do
you know that's just my
advice to you i'm sure that's what
happened to jfk
you know marilyn monroe gave him a blow
job
and you know he's like i'm gonna get me
a convertible
[Applause]
[Music]