- Are you guys kidding?
This video's never gonna end.
What's the most annoying thing about me?
(laughing)
- Oh, God!
Cheers.
- Hmm-mm!
- I'm Devin.
- I'm Curtis.
- And, we dated.
- We did!
- Last week?
- Maybe like four or five months?
- 'Cause I'm an adult.
- 'Cause there's alcohol?
- Ugh, okay, oh God.
- No.
- Rate me in bed, how can I improve? (laughing)
- Oh my God,
instant panic.
- I'll take a shot with you to not answer that question.
- Do I ever pop into your head when you're masturbating?
- I don't masturbate, so, no.
It's not something I need
and when I do need it I can get it.
- When you need it you can get it, like (snaps), yeah?
- Do you still love me, did you ever love me?
- I do love you as a person
just like friend, you know?
- Mm-hmm
- Yeah - Yeah
- Mm-hmm
- Uncomfortable.
- Why did we break up?
- You think I'm trash and I think you're stupid.
- I agree with one of those statements.
- Yeah, same.
- Next question!
- Perfect
Am I a better lover than who you're currently with,
be honest?
Have you slept with anyone since we broke up?
(laughing)
- Um,
like, no
What did your friends and family think of me?
- My sister was skeptical, my mom doesn't care
unless you make it past six months
'cause she knows I'm insane.
- Oh, it was so close!
- So close!
My friends hate Curtis.
(laughing)
My friends hate you.
You're gonna take a shot.
I dare you to post on Facebook
that we're back together.
- Yeah, no.
(laughing)
I can't do that one.
- Post it.
- You want me to post it?
- Yeah, post it.
- No that is so uncomfortable - Post it
'Cause you'll take it down and it'll be fine
and no one's going to care.
- Change the relationship status or post it?
Is that all I do?
- Yeah and then you press save.
- Oh, I thought someone already just commented.
In a relationship with Devin Chambers!
We look like twins, that's so hideous.
- Steven just text messaged me and said,
"wait, what? What the fuck is happening?
What are you two doing?"
(phone rings)
- Hi, what do you think of my Facebook post?
- I'm not sure about it,
Curtis called me and he just sat there
and kind of begged me and I was like
I'm trying to get on this plane
I didn't know how to deal with it
and I feel like I just caved.
- Um, love you, bye.
- Dude
If you could erase every memory of me, would you?
- No.
- Yeah, I would erase you making out with my friend
on the dance floor in front of me.
- 'Cause to me - I wasn't there
- If I was at a bar and looked over
and he was making out with one of my friends
I just feel like it's a respect thing
you know who you're going home with.
- It is a respect thing and that's why
our respect levels are different.
I respect you enough not to do it.
- Okay, I would trust that it's just a fun thing
- Your turn.
- Okay, see he doesn't like talking
about these kinds of things.
- Where do you see us in 10 years?
- I dunno, maybe speaking?
I dare you to kiss me with tongue
take two shots to get out of it.
- I mean, there's some consent involved but
- I'm down
- Yeah
Okay, that was awkward but
- I feel great
(laughing)
- Is there anything you would like to apologize for?
- No.
- Yeah.
- Hi. I've decided that I was just kidding about Curtis.
No longer in a relationship,
bad idea, whoops, my bad.
- He's probably devastated, I gave him a quick call
and he said, "k," and hung up.
- I mean, the trash is gonna stick in the trash
and us gold pieces are gonna stick together.
- [Steven] Well why do I feel like you've said that before.
- Okay, bye!
- You're such a fucking asshole.
(laughing)
Do you have any advice for me as I date new people?
Take a shot.
(laughing)
- Be more attentive.
I hate that I felt like your boyfriend of convenience.
It was pulling teeth to get you to go on a date with me
and then the only time you would hang out
with me as your boyfriend was
I'm going out to this event,
do you want to come?
I'm not your boyfriend for Instagram
or for social media or for Snapchat
or for convenience, you have to treat
your boyfriend like a boyfriend.
So there's one.
Probably stop with the I'm unapologetically Curtis one.
Be willing to compromise somewhere
because if you are unwilling to compromise
like you are now, you will never find someone
that's going to mesh with you.
So that's what I would say to that.
- I would tone down the aggressiveness
when having a conversation.
The panic, panic let me just speak as fast as I can.
That's probably what I would like you to change,
but maybe there's a guy out there that likes that.
- I mean, a lot of people like directness, so probably.
- Well then you'll find one of them.
- Yeah.
- Love you
- ILY
(kiss noise)
(clicks tongue)
Okay
(laughing)
- Stupid
I hate you so much
(applause)