They say that the pen is mightier than the sword, and in horror cinema - in some specific
cases - the brain is mightier than the … brawn?
Yeah - I guess that works, but you get the picture.
Although, in some cases - don’t get me wrong, the best thing is to scream in ravenous anger
and fire a gun into the air charged with double entendre - for the most part to survive the
monstrous hordes of horror cinema - the only course of action is to keep your wits, and
keep your head.
And thankfully, the two of them aren’t mutually exclusive.
Well - you gobbled up part 1 of this list - so let’s see what else horror cinema has
to offer.
Hello horror fans - and once again, welcome back to the scariest channel on YouTube - Top
5 Scary Videos.
Come, join us as we crouch around this metaphorical campfire - as we whisper tales of horror cinemas
most prolific survivors - and take a look at the Top 5 Smartest Horror Victims - Part
2.
Roll the clip.
Yeah - not that guy.
For the curious amongst you, that clip was from 2002’s Dog Soldiers - which may or
may not be a point on this list.
Spoilers, yeah it is.
Now in Part 2 - you guys had a lot to say about your picks for this particular list
- and I hear you.
Screams Sidney Prescott was banded around quite a bit, as well as Kirsty from Hellraiser
- and while I agree, I’ll try and keep the archetypes to a minimum for the sake of keeping
things fresh, because there is one final girl left to crown.
Kicking off at Number 5 - Cooper, Dog Soldiers
If you’ve never seen 2002’s Dog Soldiers - I would highly recommend it, as it still
maintains its rank amongst the greats of British horror cinema to this day.
It’s great - the British SAS, the Scottish Highlands - and werewolves.
What can go wrong?
Well.
A lot.
But, whether it’s down to Cooper’s military training, played by the awesome Scottish actor
Kevin McKidd - this guy knew how to keep his head while faced down by a family full of
ravenous lycans.
Literally.
Sorry, that one was too easy.
Aside from Cooper’s astute military decision making, Dog Soldiers is just a straight up
great horror flick.
Liam Cunningham, Sean Pertwee and Kevin McKidd give life to, what on paper appears to be
a pretty doomed plot - and it’s not really hard to make this list when essentially the
cast is stacked with specially trained elite soldiers - although, Spoon - played by Darren
Morfitt - isn’t exactly the sharpest spoon in the drawer.
From start to finish, Cooper makes consistently smart choices to keep himself alive - while
his fellow cast members sacrifice themselves in glorious explosions and flare swinging
football chants.
Yeah, it’s plot armor - but it’s also brilliant.
Coming in at Number 4 - Wendy Torrance, The Shining
Now, I understand that some points of this list may take some convincing - but hear me
out on this one.
Wendy Torrance, played by the seminal Shelley Duvall - makes some incredibly smart choices
throughout the frantic and chaotic storyline of Stanley Kubrick's adaptation of Stephen
King’s The Shining.
And in the end - alongside her son Danny, she wins, while being faced down by her maddening
husband Jack - played by the incredible Jack Nicholson.
And it’s down to one thing - because on the surface Wendy may not look like she’s
in control of her actions - and in some ways she’s not - but she’s being piloted by
one hell of a maternal instinct.
As soon as Wendy gets a sniff of real danger against herself and Danny - she’s off.
Which is something horror characters usually don’t get a grasp off.
All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy - and Wendy is out the door.
First problem though, the only means of escape - the Snowcat - is disabled.
Maternal instinct kicks in, and she grabs herself a baseball bat - and beats the living
hell out of Jack.
The rest of the film, Wendy holds on to her life in a white knuckle ride of cat and mouse
- and it’s only down to those pesky Overlook Hotel ghosts that Jack even catches a break.
But in the end, Wendy and Danny win - and Jack’s pretty much boned for eternity.
Next up at Number 3 - Mike Harrigan, Predator 2
Let’s not beat around the bush, 1990’s Predator 2 is one serious tour-de-force of
sci-fi horror action - and it was one lofty task to fill the shoes of our man Major Alan
Dutch Schaefer - AKA Arnold Schwarzenegger - but believe it or not, there was actually
one man for the job.
And as a result, we were gifted one of the greatest sci-fi characters of all time.
Mike Harrigan, played by Danny Glover - the man who beats around no bushes, especially
in an LA Concrete Jungle - who drops f-bombs like most people drop brain cells after watching
The Big Bang Theory.
Listen - Mike Harrigan isn’t necessarily smart in the traditional sense, that’s not
why he made this list.
To quote Laser Time - Mike Harrigan isn’t just a loose cannon: he’s a loose artillery
battalion - and he manages to keep his head in an otherwise sticky situation by sheer
force of badassery alone.
Mike Harrigan couldn’t make a bad decision if he tried.
It’s impossible.
And by the climax of the film, Harrigan manages to kill the Predator - AKA, one of the deadliest
sentient creatures in the known universe - with it’s own weaponry, gaining the respect of
the Yautja - which is the only accolade you need, really.
Next up at Number 2 - Eben Oleson, 30 Days of Night
I love this film.
I’m not going to lie - and I feel like it never truly received the recognition that
it deserved in horror cinema, giving us one of the freshest silver screen depictions of
vampires in a long, long time.
Yeah, it was probably the sparkly ones that ruined everyone's perception of blood sucking
immortals.
Based on the comic book series of the same name by Steve Niles and illustrated by Ben
Templesmith - 30 Days of Night depicts the town of Barrow, Alaska - one of the most northern
settlements on the planet - as they go through a month long period of polar winter.
Literally, 30 days of night - no sunlight.
And the perfect hunting ground for a gang of ancient vampires.
Eben Oleson, played by Josh Hartnett - literally doesn’t make a single poor decision throughout
this film, and to be fair - the entire cast of resourceful, Alaskan locals are pretty
good at surviving as a whole.
But there’s one reason that Eben comes in so high on the list - his ultimate choice
of fighting fire with fire.
Or, fighting vampirism with vampirism.
At the climax of the film, Eben realises that the only way to ultimately save the survivors
- despite them having held on for nearly a month - is to directly confront the vampire
leader, Marlow, by becoming a vampire himself and injecting himself with infected blood.
And then he punches a hole in his head.
If you haven’t seen 30 Days of Night - I highly recommend it - and I’ll try not to
ruin the gravity of the final few moments of the film.
But Eben Oleson is one resourceful and awesome Alaskan.
And finally - at our Number 1 spot - Laurie Strode, Halloween
Because she MacGuvyered a coat hanger into a shank in like 10 seconds while being faced
down by one of horror cinemas most villainous villains.
Nah - I’m just kidding, although, that is a reason - Laurie Strode makes this list by
sheer force of will alone.
She has mathematics on her side, because she’s survived The Shape for over 40 years of cinematic
history.
Although - she did kinda die twice, but that was a car crash - and it’s been retconned,
so forget about it.
She’s a survivor and Michael Myers has never quite managed to massacre her.
Jamie Lee Curtis is one of horror cinemas most iconic final girls - she perhaps may
even be THE most iconic.
And if we’re taking David Gordon Green’s 2018 reboot as an example, Laurie Strode would
single handedly take this list with her Kevin McAllister style house of horror boobytrap
onslaught.
She’s smart - she’s capable - and she doesn’t die.
She’s Laurie Strode, what do you expect?
Well - there we have it horror fans, but before we depart, let’s read out some of your more
humorous comments from over the past few days.
Riffler Underhill says -- I love horror, but even more I love stories that actually give
me hope for humanity.
-- and first off, Underhill eh?
That’s a Shire name.
But also, I couldn’t agree with you more - and what a wonderful way to put it.
Good job Riffler Underhill.
Jayden Haney says -- Pls read this comment in ur next vid.
-- Well, there you go Jayden Haney, I love an easy one.
And finally - Dyllan Dodge says -- If u read this u cool.
-- Well, I needed that one buddy, thanks Dyllan - you’re cool too.
Cheers for sticking around all the way till the end horror fans - if you were a fan of
this video, make sure to hit that thumbs up button, as well as that subscribe bell - and
we’ll be seeing you in the next one.
As always, I’ve been your horror host Jack Finch - you’ve been watching Top 5 Scary
Videos - and until next time, you take it easy.