I got some fresh ingredients for our new Krabby Soup.
A half-eaten Krabby Patty...
two moldy pickles...
and some mashed potatoes that look like Squidward.
Mr. Krabs, did you get those ingredients from the trash?
[gasping] Of course not!
That wouldn't be legal!
I intercepted these items on their way to the trash.
I want everybody in Bikini Bottom to buy my soup.
Yuppies, guppies, puppies...
- Hippies? - Hippies?
[growls]
Yeah. There's a group of hippies
living out back by the hydrothermal vent.
Hippies?
[humming and whistling]
Guess I bought the disappearing kind of potatoes.
[humming]
Oh, hungry soup, ay? Let's see if you like onions!
Today's special is Onion Soup a la SpongeBob!
All right, listen, soup,
you want me to get tough?
All right, I'll get tough!
I made you from scratch and I can unscratch you!
[screaming]
[laughing]
Then he hogs that table all day...
And annoys all me other customers!
[slurping loudly]
And he don't buy nothin' else neither.
He just makes that disgustin' condiment soup
and listens to his radio, all for free.
And anytime someone says somethin' to him,
it's always the same response...
Excuse me, could you turn the volume down on your soup?
Respect your elders!
Yes, sir! Sorry, sir!
- Hey, SpongeBob! - Hey, Patrick!
Hey, SpongeBob, could you give me change for a quarter?
No problem!
- Here ya go! - Thanks.
[gasps] I forgot to tell him how to make change!
Sponge...
Bob...
Phew...
Hi, Squidward. All done with those errands?
No, I am not. I just remembered I needed change for this dollar.
Do you want four quarters? Or ten dimes?
Or 20 nickels? Or 100 pennies?
Or one quarter, three dimes, seven nickels, and ten pennies?
Or, if you give me a $5 bill, your options are...
All right, goodbye.
Aha! I caught you now!
You didn't think I knew you were a stick outside my window! Ha!
Or the toilet in my bathroom!
And then you were in my bathtub, and I...
and-and you... and I... and then you...
swam down the drain and...
beat me... to the Krusty Krab.
Uh, does that mean you're...?
Yes, SpongeBob.
I am finished with those errands.
I guess I want to take my place back at the cash register.
I really do.
Then you might wanna put these on.
Hmm...
Hey, Squidward, you know what?
Look! We forgot to switch the "Closed" sign to "Open".
It's almost like we could've taken the whole day off!
[laughing]
Ooh... I'm done.
Where'd me shell go?
I'm never that careless with me carapace.
Oh, no! I'm running late!
I'll just have to grab me spare suit from home.
Ooh. Uh-oh.
Unless I time this right,
who wouldn't notice me naked tatters?
[crying]
[grunting]
Oh! Hah! Hee! hah!
[snickering]
Oh, boy! Something for me to clean up.
[stifled laughter]
April Fools'!
[laughing]
Whoa!
Hah!
Ha-hah!
[laughing hysterically]
Whoa!
[laughing]
[gasping] Oh, no!
[laughing]
[screaming]
[gasping]
[laughing]
[screaming]
Oh!
I'll catch you, SpongeBob!
[stifled laughter]
[screaming]
Oops!
A call goes out in frustration.
Will you hurry up?
A call that would normally be answered
by Bikini Bottom's semi-retired champions,
if they weren't the ones causing the problem!
Let's see. I want a...
No... I want a...
Uh... No, uh...
Hmm...
Sir, would you please order already?
You're holding up the line.
- Uh... - Psst.
Hey, Mermaid Man, get a Krabby Patty.
I've made my decision.
[cheering]
One Krabby Patty for me
and a Pipsqueak Patty for the boy.
Now wait just a darn minute...
[disappointed moans]
I don't want a Pipsqueak Patty!
I want an adult-size Krabby Patty!
The Krabby Patty is too big for you.
You'll never finish it.
Don't you see what you're doing?
You're treating me like a child!
The boy's eyes are bigger than his stomach.
[laughing]
And that's another thing, I'm not a boy!
I'm so old I got hairs growing out of the wrinkles
on my liver spots!
One Pipsqueak Patty.
And your bib and highchair.
[laughing]
I'm 68 years old and I want a Krabby Patty!
Your Pipsqueak is getting cold.
Shall I feed you?
Feed this, old man!
[in unison] Ooh...!
I'm tired of playing second banana
to a man who wears a bra!
From now on, I wanna be called Barnacle Man!
One Crying Johnny comin' up!
First bun, then patty,
followed by ketchup, mustard, pickles,
extra onions, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes and bun.
In that order.
One Crying Johnny!
- Whoo! - Whatever.
Twelve Krabby Patties on wheat buns.
[quickly listing ingredients]
One dozen Crying Cows on the Farm!
Whoo!
Thanks, Farmer Brown.
It's been a thrill serving you.
Can I get some extra salt?
We're all out.
Could you check?
No.
Let me guess, tiny, a small salad?
I'll take a Double Triple Bossy Deluxe, on a raft,
four by four animal style, extra shingles
with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease.
Make it cry, burn it and let it swim.
We serve food here, sir.
I got it all ready, Squidward.
[gasping]
Bubble Bass.
SquarePants.
Hey, SpongeBob's back!
SpongeBob?
I hear SquarePants is back.
I'm right here, Bubble Bass.
I thought I ran you out of town.
[spits]
This is where I belong.
[hissing]
Rawr.
[gasping]
Give me the regular.
And this time, don't forget the pickles.
I didn't.
Still no pickles!
See?
Eww!
You failed again, SpongeBob LoserPants!
[laughing]
Wait a minute!
[laughing]
Look!
He's been hiding the pickles under his tongue the whole time!
And there's the pickles from last time, too!
And there's my car keys!
And that's my ride.
[panting]
Three cheers for the return of our master fry cook,
SpongeBob!
- Hip hip! - Hurray!
And three cheers for the fry cook
who took my place while I was gone.
[grunting]
All better, that should seal up that drafty gap.
And kill the whistling.
[laughs]
[in a deeper voice] Well, thank you, Dr. Squidward!
Say, without a gap, my voice sounds almost...
Cool.
Testing, testing. One, two, three.
You know, with this voice, I don't need whistling.
Oh, I've got to sing!
[upbeat music starts playing]
[sings in jazzy scats]
Flip, flip, flip, flip!
Please! Passengers are to stay seated
and not put their fins out the window!
[laughing]
[gasps] That sounded like hatch doors!
[sniffs]
Do you smell it?
That smell... A kind of smelly smell...
A smelly smell that smells...
smelly...
Anchovies.
What?
Anchovies!
[repeating "meep" over and over]
Please, please, quiet!
Is this any way to behave, hmm?
Meep.
Could we show a little decency
and form a neat, single file line
in front of the register?
[repeating "meep" over and over]
Man overboard!
Climb, Mr. Squidward! Climb!
This is the end!
Goodbye, Mr. Squidward!
Oh, Mr. Krabs!
[crying]
Permission to come aboard, Captain!
[singing a triumphal tune]
Did someone order a spatula?
[stuttering]
That's right! One hydrodynamic spatula
with port-and-starboard attachments!
And let's not forget the turbo drive!
Would you believe they only had one in stock?
To the kitchen!
Who's hungry?!
♪ Things that bother you Never bother me! ♪
♪ I feel happy and fine, aha! ♪
♪ Livin' in the sunlight! Lovin' in the moonlight! ♪
♪ Having a wonderful time! ♪
♪ Haven't got a lot! I don't need a lot! ♪
♪ Coffee's only a dime! ♪
♪ Livin' in the sunlight! Lovin' in the moonlight! ♪
♪ Having a wonderful time! ♪
♪ Just take it from me! ♪
♪ I'm just as free As any daughter! ♪
♪ I do what I like just when I like and how I love it! ♪
♪ I'm right here to stay ♪
♪ When I'm old and gray! ♪
♪ I'll be right in my prime! ♪
♪ Livin' in the sunlight! ♪
♪ Lovin' in the moonlight! ♪
♪ Having a wonderful time! ♪
Come on, sweaty.
Have you finished cleaning the tables?
I cleaned the tables, Mr. Krabs!
Ay, but did you scrape all the gum off the underside?
I already took care of it.
[laughs] All right, lads.
Looks like you've shanghaied me.
My turn.
Five.
One of your shipmates has been a bad pirate!
Send him to the brig!
Hmm...
It's off to jail for you, Mr. Krabs.
Patrick, you're fired!
But I don't even work here!
Would you like a job, starting now?
- Boy, would I?! - You're fired!
My turn.
One, two, three, four.
Look for the Deacon's Goose through the fork in the old tree
and head that way.
Well, I see Mr. Krabs' zipper is undone.
[gasps] Shiver me timbers!
[laughs] Just kidding, Mr. Krabs.
I'm almost to the treasure.
Your turn again, Mr. Krabs.
Ooh, fish eyes.
One, two.
You are a real pirate.
Go straight to the X which marks the spot.
You get to dig for treasure, Mr. Krabs!
Treasure?
There it is!
It's the Flying Dutchman's treasure!
Gold, gold, gold! Mine, mine, mine!
Hey, Mr. Krabs is getting all sweaty again.
Rev up those fryers,
‘cause I am sure hungry for one--
Help! Help!
My leg!
Can't you see we're closed?!
What did these robots in the movie look like?
Well, they had piercing red eyes,
metal pinchers for hands, and they ran on batteries.
Okay, so tell me,
does Mr. Krabs look anything like that?!
[screaming]
[Mr. Krabs keeps screaming]
[screaming]
I'll evacuate the customers, you call the navy!
Hello, operator? Get me the Navy!
Hello, you've reached the Navy's automated phone service.
Squidward, the robots are running the Navy!
Not the Navy!
Attention, everyone, run for your lives!
Robots have taken over the world!
Our world!
[screaming]
[phone rings]
Is this the Krusty Krab?
No, this is Patrick.
[whistling]
[phone rings]
Is this the Krusty Krab?
No, this is Patrick!
[whistling]
[phone rings]
Is this the Krusty Krab?
No! This is Patrick!
I'm not a Krusty Krab.
Uh, Patrick, that's the name of the restaurant.
Huh? Oh...
Fish paste!
It looks a little dusty around Table 3.
How about if you sweep it out?
What's the point? I can't do anything right.
You'll be fine.
Hey pal. You just blow in from Stupidtown?
Keep trying, Patrick.