- Why do introverts hate phone calls?
Why do they hate making them, receiving them?
Why do they just generally hate using the phone
as a means of communication?
Well guess what?
I've got seven reasons.
And it's funny because extroverts are like,
do introverts really struggle with the phone,
do they really hate the phone that much, why?
Doesn't make any sense.
Well, you're about to find out.
And stay tuned to the end
where I talk about my struggle with the phone,
and how I actually got okay with phone calls.
But before we jump into it,
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Reason number one for introverts hating phone calls,
specifically receiving them, is that it interrupts us.
Now, extroverts don't like being interrupted either,
but I think they're better
at just taking whatever is thrown at them.
Introverts, they have a harder time switching gears.
There's also something about
the surprising nature of receiving a phone call
that puts an introvert off,
'cause it's like, oh no, social interaction,
I wasn't expecting this.
Introverts like to be prepared
for interactions with other people.
So a phone call out of the blue, not so good.
Number two, especially when it comes to receiving calls,
is that introverts don't like to be held hostage
by phone conversations.
Generally, introverts kind of have
a difficult time ending conversations,
and phone conversations are no exception,
and perhaps even worse.
Like, oh, here's this conversation going 30 minutes,
oh wait, no, now it's an hour, now it's two hours,
why don't you have anything better to do with your life,
why are you still talking to me?
And if you add on top of that, the call being unexpected,
wow, that's like a double whammy.
Number three reason why introverts don't like phone calls is
it's inefficient.
It's an inefficient means of communication,
especially when there are things that you could tell us
in a text or in an email,
or just wait until you see us in person the next time.
Especially when it comes to work,
why do people need to talk on the phone when email exists?
With them email or a text, I can read it anytime I want,
and I don't have to reply right away.
With a phone call,
I might not remember everything you say,
and it's gonna take you twice as long to say it,
if not longer than it would take me to read it.
Number four, this is an interesting one.
We're really getting into the depths of this topic now.
Introverts don't like phone calls, in fact, we hate them
because there are no visual cues.
You can't read what's going on on someone else's face.
And introverts really rely
on being able to see other people's faces
to kind of read between the lines.
Introverts are very sensitive about this,
and they often tend toward the negative aspect of things
if someone has an expression
that looks more or less neutral,
the introvert will be like, oh no, that person hates me.
So when you take that out of it,
and we're just going on the voice,
that, you know, inflection,
it's a lot easier for an introvert to be like,
oh crap, this person must hate me,
I must be totally irritating to them,
because we have one less thing to look at.
We have nothing to look at, actually.
All right, let's pause real quick and see if YouTube would,
ow, my knee, would like to show a commercial.
Ah, thanks for sitting through that, my knee, ugh.
The number five reason is that introverts
are worried about miscommunication.
And I think this happens when
we're calling the pizza place to order a pizza,
we're just worried, like,
am I gonna be able to understand
the person on the other end?
Are they gonna be able to understand me?
Am I gonna have to repeat myself?
Am I going to have to ask them,
what, what did you say, five times?
We do this in person, even,
but on the phone you add in this element of, you know,
phone calls aren't crystal clear,
and it just causes a lot of anxiety, worrying about,
are we gonna understand each other?
Number six is that introverts are worried
that they're bothering the other person
when they make a call.
This is something I'm gonna have to explore in more depth
'cause I think in general,
introverts feel like they're bothering everyone,
like they're irritating everyone around them,
and that's why they don't like to initiate a lot of contact.
When you take into account the fact that
introverts themselves get irritated
by unexpected phone calls,
they really don't wanna then impose that on someone else.
But what's funny is,
even going back to the pizza delivery example,
you'll call up somewhere that's a business
and worry that you're irritating them.
Hey, I'm sorry, I just wanted to order a pizza.
It's like, it's their job to take the phone call,
yet we still feel like we're inconveniencing them somehow.
How many phone calls of mine
have started with I'm sorry, but?
The number seven reason why introverts hate phone calls
is that they're worried about interactions in general.
It's like if I had to go up and talk to someone in person,
that would be, you know, somewhat nerve wracking
and/or draining.
Then you add in all this stuff with the phone,
that I can't see their face,
that there could be miscommunication,
that I'm gonna have to listen extra hard
to make sure that I understand everything
that's coming out of their mouth.
It makes it super draining,
especially if you get caught on a long call,
if you get taken unexpectedly,
unaware by someone calling you.
It's like one of the more
draining forms of communication that there is.
Now, on a personal note,
I myself used to be extremely anxious about using the phone.
I absolutely hated it.
If I had to make a phone call,
especially if it was cold-calling someone, you know,
someone who wasn't necessarily expecting it,
I would take a long time to like prepare myself,
and ready myself.
And I think that, you know,
that goes with that last point there, is that,
for introverts who are more anxious,
it takes a lot out of them to prepare for a phone call.
It's like, you gotta think through it,
you gotta to mentally rehearse it.
I eventually got over it.
Now I'm able to use the phone to call strangers,
and feel okay with it.
I mean, I don't love it.
I prefer not to use the phone,
but I can do it without feeling like I need to throw up.
And the way I got over it,
which is not something
that you're necessarily gonna wanna hear,
but it's just by doing it.
I was forced into making a lot of phone calls.
I was at an office job where I was answering the phone,
I was fielding calls,
and it was a bunch of people
who were asking a bunch of questions
that I often didn't understand or didn't know how to answer,
so I was being put in these really awkward situations,
but then also, I was having to call people,
and you know, they weren't expecting to hear from me,
and often I was asking them questions
that they didn't wanna answer,
they weren't happy to hear from me.
I was telling them, you know,
that they owed money, et cetera.
But, ultimately I bring that up to show you,
to encourage you,
that if you are frightened to death of the phone,
that exposing yourself to it,
forcing yourself to do a little bit at a time,
to get over that fear,
that will eventually work,
eventually you will be able to call people
without feeling sick to your stomach.
However, I don't think there's really a way
to get over the preference against using a phone, you know?
There's just the general, like,
I really don't want to do that.
(laughs)
You know?
Thanks for watching, audibletrial.com/FJ, give it a like.
Till next time, stay cool and attractive.