Hello and welcome back, my Body Language Buddies! today, in Episode 38, the big question is,
how Kate the Duchess of Cambridge, influence Prince Harry's behavior after she got engaged
to William
And to find the answer, we will be looking at their interactions as in-laws, before and
after meeting Meghan Markle.
We will decode the body language clues of their interactions and establish if those
signals are real or fake.
And we'll extract some very interesting remarks of one of Harry's most revealing interviews
to discover how he has changed in just a few years.
Remember that I've got a gift for you: my 100+ body language tips in a free PDF that
you can find right in the description.
And thank you for supporting my channel! all you have to do is like this video, subscribe
and hit that bell so you don't miss any of my body language analysis and tips.
My Name is Jesús Enrique Rosas, I'm the Body Language Guy, and together we'll uncover the
secrets that people try to hide from us.
A lot has been said about Meghan and Harry and how their departure as Royals have impacted
the public's opinion on the British Monarchy.
But less than four year ago, Harry had a very different opinion about what the Monarchy
could be.
In a 2017 Newsweek interview, he said:
"The monarchy is a force for good ... we are involved in modernizing it.
We are not doing this for ourselves but for the greater good of the people"
Now, what did he mean when he said 'we'?
He was talking about William, Kate and himself.
And this is important because Kate was a very influential figure for him.
Of course, there's always the conspiracy theories that claim that Harry was in love with his
sister-in-law, and maybe that's due to the fact of so many pictures fo them with extremely
friendly attitudes.
We're about to review them.
But first we have to understand what was the crossroads that Harry had to face in his life
so we can do a better assessment.
And that begins with his military career.
Harry had a remarkable military career, which included becoming pilot of an Apache helicopter,
the same that was featured in that Nicolas Cage movie that no one saw.
But trust me, it's a badass killing machine.
The sad part is that once Harry's involvement in kicking the Taliban's arses was leaked
to the press, it was a matter of days until the big fish realized that every bad guy in
the middle east was going to set their targets on him and his company.
So he was honorably discharged and sent home.
This was incredibly frustrating for Harry, because for once, since his mother's death,
he had finally found something that let him channel his energy and of course, his rage,
something that had put him into trouble both with his public image and most important,
with his mental health.
We're talking about that moment, being 12 years old, walking behind his mother's casket
was too much for him, and he suffered for years until he found his spot in military
missions.
So, coming back to the UK, to royal life was something that didn' sit well with him.
And you know that he couldn't care less about the whole succession thing when you see his
reaction to this question:
- Harry, we spoke about how much you're looking forward to becoming an uncle.
Did that give you cause to reflect on your own destiny, that of course when that child
is born you're going to be from third in line to the throne to fourth in line
- (lauhter) I forgot that four and a half months and forget what happens in the news...
um, I haven't really had time to think about that, I'm longing to see my brother and sister
in law...
His response is playful, it's a full smile like thinking "I don't know how these people
find these topics important", you know that the throne thing doesn't resonate with him
at all, but he mentions that he wants to see both William and Kate, and just by mentioning
them you understand that they're important to him.
Of course, it's easy to understand why he was longing to see William.
After Diana's passing the two brothers had been supporting each other, and later on Kate
made sure that Harry was actively involved in charity work from their Royal Foundation.
In fact, in that Newsweek interview Harry says that Kate was the big sister that he
never had.
For years, they lived door to door, Harry dropped by their place all the time, Kate
even cooked for him his favorite meal, roast chicken, and they both enjoyed watching Game
of Thrones.
Although... that could have been uncomfortable at times.
So, they were like a British version of Friends, and that attitude transpired into public photographs.
That's why you see so many pics where both Kate and Harry have open smiles or laugh at
the same time.
You know that they're really comfortable together and one of the reasons why is that they tend
to mirror each other with their bodies.
Remember that it's not only how people look at each othe but also how the bodies reflect
each other.
Now it's your turn to be the Body Language Analyst with a very interesting riddle.
How do you define Harry's attitude in this video of all three talking casually?
The answer, at the end of this episode.
I think Harry found in Kate a way to express something that both men and women need to
acknowledge.
We all have a masculine side and a feminine side, and the most successful persons, both
in relationships, finances, mental health, are the ones that recognize and take advantage
of their both sides.
I don't think you need a lot of arguments to realize that Diana herself was the perfect
embodiment of someone who has developed both sides and that's why she managed to have so
much impact.
At the same time that's what made her an impressive role model for her sons.
Without her, it made for not only a traumatizing experience but much harder to find and understand
their feminine side, and that was one of the triggers of Harry's years of erratic behavior.
Kate, as a feminine figure, using her own emotional intelligence, noticed Harry's struggle
and served as a catalyst for that search within himself.
To remember his mother's work with charity and that he could make a difference, after
all.
He also acknowledged that in that Newsweek interview:
"I intuitively know what my mother would like me to do and want to progress with work she
couldn't complete"
Those are quite big shoes to fill, but Harry's hands-on approach let him to, among other
things, found the Invictus Games, an international sporting event for wounded, injured and sick
Servicemen and women.
There are lots of footage of interviews of Harry about the impact of the Invictus games,
and basically in all of them he shows an open body language, he doesn't stutter, he has
his chin up, his chest and elbows out, he has a great attitude because he might feel
deep inside that this is what his mother could have wanted him to be.
And that's a lesson that can help any of us.
Sometimes we don't know why we are here, or we lack purpose or it's hard to find meaning.
But the shortest path is trying to do something for others.
That's it.
To help ourselves, it's always a good idea to start helping others.
And among those initiatives, the mental health charities stand out.
In fact, one sentence that stood out from that interview was "He's trying to break the
stigma around mental health".
So Harry was talking about a stigma in this regard and it's the same situation that Meghan
adresses in the Oprah interview.
That there was a stigma, at least in the firm, about seeking this kind of help.
And the Newsweek interview happened long before the time that Meghan refers to, so we have
previous records that back that part of her story.
If even Harry had to resort to firing a point fifty machine gun in lack of a better therapy,
it could have been similar with Meghan.
But again, now we don't understand why he couldn't look help for her anywhere else.
And in the most groundbreaking, shocking news, we found out that Harry preferred Kate over
Camilla to be his emotional confident.
In fact, it was not only at Oprah's interview that Harry tried not to talk much about his
father, or Camilla.
In general, he doesn't address their existence much.
All you have to do is do a Google search "Harry smiling with Camilla" and you will find ONE
picture of Harry smiling with Camilla.
Hey, wait... no.
Wait a second.
I think they are in different planes, like Harry is at the back and Camilla is up front
so... nevermind.
That's zero.
Zero results.
Even Meghan has photos laughing with Camilla.
Tilting away, yes, but there are graphic records of pleasant interactions.
So it's no wonder that before Meghan, a0nd spending so much time with Kate, she became
the best way to speak about his emotions.
We know that this is not a topic that he would talk with William.
Men don't usually talk about emotions, and by the way, that's something that we should
change for our own mental health.
Now, we have a lot of pieces of the puzzle so far, but there's one that plays a critical
role: the difference between the time to engagement betwen William and Kate versus Harry and Meghan.
Kate spent, I don't know, nine years waiting for the engagement proposal from William.
That's like four times what took Harry to decide to marry Meghan.
So, it's absolutely possible that at some point, Kate suggested Harry that he was going
too fast.
And that's something that did not sit well with him.
Especially because hes' someone who once becomes fixed on one goal he turns in full passion
and energy mode and goes all-out let's do this.
Of course, Meghan was more than willing to go at 100 miles per hour, and she must have
guessed that Kate was suggesting Harry to slow down.
That, and the fact that Harry surely talked about Kate all the time was one of the factors
that started the rift betwen the two sister-in-laws.
Now we have the whole picture to understand the full impact of Meghan's statement about
Kate making her cry.
It's when you have all the pieces of Harry's relationship with Kate, that you realize that
a simple reversal statement, that it wasn't Meghan that made Kate cry but the exact opposite,
was far more personal than any statement about Archie's skin.
And I'm not saying that the skin tone incident is not important.
What I'm saying is that Meghan talking about Kate would be far more damaging to the relationship
between the two brothers, even if Harry considered her as a sister.
Of course, no part of this situation went well with William.
And if Kate has to pick a side, of course it will be her husband's.
Wether there is a rift or not between William and Harry, it will always be amplified by
the media.
But in that sense, Diana would be the perfect example of a woman that managed to act and
do good despite the constant tabloid rainstorm.
That leads us to that walk outside of Prince Philip's funeral service.
For everyone who has followed them over the years, this is a nice throwback to the past.
And yes, both brothers cannot be in the best terms, especially after that Oprah interview.
But this is where Kate can use that emotional intelligence to bridge the gap between them.
And that's a power move that you can use to build stronger relationships.
Usually one thinks of conflict resolution like a splitting of the difference.
Like both parties have to relent something.
That's not always the case and in fact, it's usually makes things worse.
Instead, what you do is try to get them both back to the moment before they parted ways
and understand that both come from the same struggle.
We will never know what did Kate tell William prior to meeting Harry again, or what did
Kate tell Harry.
But the very action of walking, Harry in the middle, is a signal of protection.
You're our little brother, we'll be there for you no matter what.
Now, there's something that should be said about Kate.
Every woman or man knows that any relationship includes not only your parter but also their
family.
You have any of two options; you either try to find the common ground with your in-laws,
or you isolate your partner from them, and that usually depends of what is the partner's
actual relationship with their family.
Being William and Harry so close together, Kate must have thought "I can't completely
win William's trust if I don't win Harry's trust too".
So that could be why she put so much effort in trying to help Harry and channel that in-laws
relationship the way she did.
Now, this is the sort of ethical dilemma that fires up comments.
Is this common sense, or being macciavellian?
We cannot deny that in part, Kate helped Harry along the years.
But also, she would benefit of this, because William and everyone in the Royal family would
have noticed that Harry approved William and Kate's relationship.
If Meghan decided to have a slightly different approach for the same situation, well... that's
a great topic for another episode.
And the answer to today's riddle, what was Harry's attitude when he was talking together
with Kate and William in this video?
He's showing his usual restlessness that even if he wanted to have a laid back conversation,
that's not something that goes well with him.
One more thing:
- I think so.
I sometimes tell myself, what's the point of bring out the past, what's the point of
bringing something that will make you sad? it ain't gonna change it, it ain't gonna bring
her back.
And when you start thinking like that, it can be really damaging.
And they say that you should sit down and think about these memories, but for me it
was like... don't wanna think about it.
Remember that I've got a gift for you: my 100+ Body Language tips in a single free PDF
that you can download right in the description.
And don't forget to subscribe if you don't want to miss any of my Body Language Episodes
and Tips.
See you Next Time!