>>> MY NEXT GUEST ADMITS TO SUBJECTING HIS EX-WIFE TO YEARS
OF ABUSE, PHYSICAL AND VERBAL.
BUT HE SAYS HE HAS SENSE TURNED
HIS LIFE AROUND.
GERALD CHAMBERS IS WITH ME NOW.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING
HERE.
FOR YOU, YOU SAY IT STARTED WHEN
YOU WERE A CHILD AND YOU WERE ABUSED.E A CHILD AND YOU WERE
ABUSED.
AND SO, SOME PEOPLE MIGHT SAY,
YOU WOULD BE EXTRA KEEN NOT TO
DO THAT TO ANYBODY IN YOUR LIFE.
BUT THE TRUTH IS, ABUSE IS A PSYCH THALCYCLE THAT REPEATS ITS
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> WAS IT MOSTLY VERBAL IN THE
BEGINNING?
>> AND DISHONESTY.
BEING DISHONEST AND VERBALLY ABUSIVE, YELLING AND SCREAMING.
YOURE ONLY AS GOOD IN
RELATIONSHIPS AS THE
RELATIONSHIPS YOUVE BEEN IN.
AS A CHILD, I WAS EXPOSED TO A
LOT OF FIGHTING, HOLLERING AND SCREAMING AND I WAS HIT MYSELF.
>> WERE YOU PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE
TOWARDS YOUR WIFE AND YOUR
CHILDREN BOTH?
CHILDREN BOTH? >> I WAS PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE
TOWARD MY WIFE.
NOT SO MUCH PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE
TOWARD MY CHILDREN. ALTHOUGH, I DID PRACTICE
CORPORAL PUNISHMENT FOR A WHILE,
WHICH I CONSIDER A FORM OF ABUSE
NOW.
NOW.
>> AND THEN, THERE CAME A TIME
IN JANUARY OF 1995, WHICH WAS YOUR LOW POINT AND YOUR AHAAS
YOUR LOW POINT AND YOUR AHA MOMENT.
MOMENT.
CAN YOU TELL US WHAT HAPPENED? >> I ARRANGED -- MY WIFE HADD?
>> I ARRANGED -- MY WIFE HAD BEEN OUT OF TOWN.
I HAD THE CHILDREN.
AND I ARRANGED TO TAKE THE
CHILDREN BACK TO HER.
SHE HAD MOVED OUT.
I WAS STILL IN A STAGE OF TRYING
TO CONTROL HER.
AND I WAS MAD AT HER AND I HAD
BEEN JUST TRYING TO RUN HER
LIFE.
LIFE.
AND I ARRANGED TO TAKE THE CHILDREN PACK TO HER, AT THAT
TIME I ASSAULTED HER IN HER OWN
HOUSE.
HOUSE.
>> YOU ASSAULTED HER. WHEN SHE WAS HOSPITALIZED.
>> SHE WENT TO THE HOSPITAL.
>> THAT WAS IT.
YOU WERE THE EXCEPTION OF THE
RULE WHERE SHE CHOSE NOT TO
PROSECUTE YOU, WHICH WAS A
LIFESAVER FOR YOU.
BUT HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO TURN
THINGS AROUND, WHERE YOURE NOW
A FAMILY AND MARRIAGE COUNSELOR?
>> WELL, ONE OF THE THINGS IS
THAT THERE ARE A LOT OF
DIFFERENT TYPES OF BATTERERS.
IM NOT AN ANTI-SOCIAL BATTERER.
IM NOT A CRIMINAL.
I GREW UP AND LEARNED BEHAVIOR I
DIDNT LIKE.
DIDNT LIKE.
I HAVE EMPATHY. I DIDNT LIKE MY BEHAVIOR.
I FELT BAD ABOUT IT.
PLUS, I WAS DESPERATE.
I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO JAIL
AND I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO GET
PROSECUTED.
PROSECUTED.
FOR SOME OF YOU, YOU REMEMBER, PATTY HEARST MARRIED HUGH AFTER
HE KIDNAPPED AND TORTURED HER.
THE D.A. PICKS IT UP NOW.
THEY DONT WAIT FOR THE PARTNER
TO COME IN AND SAY THEYVE BEEN
ABUSED.
ABUSED.
THEY LOOK AT THE POLICE REPORT
AND THEYLL PROSECUTE. I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE
PROSECUTED AND THAT GAVE ME WHAT
I CALL THE GIFT OF DESPERATION.
>> AND YOU CHANGED EVERYTHING.
WITH US, AS WELL, IS PSYCHO
THERAPIST SUSAN WEITZMAN.
YOU KNOW THERES WOMEN WATCHING
THIS RIGHT NOW, TO WHOM THIS IS
HAPPENING.
HAPPENING.
WHAT DO THEY NEED TO KNOW? >> I WANT TO GO BACK TO A FEW
POINTS FROM THE EARLIER
SEGMENTS, AS WELL.
THE WOMEN ISOLATE THEMSELVES.
IT ISNT SO MUCH THAT THE
PARTNER IS DOING IT BECAUSE
THERES SO MUCH SHAME AND
DISBELIEF.
DISBELIEF.
ITS HARD TO COME OUT.
I WOULD SAY TO NOT DOUBT THAT
INNER VOICE THATS TELLING YOU
SOMETHING IS WRONG.
IF YOU DONT GET IT VALIDATED
OUTSIDE.
FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE SIGNIFICANT
OTHERS, I THINK ITS LIKE
DOMESTIC TERRORISM, IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING.U SEE
SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING. I THINK THAT EXTERNAL VALIDATION
IS SO IMPORTANT FOR UPPER
EDUCATED, UPPER-INCOME WOMEN
BECAUSE THEY THINK ITS ONLY
HAPPENING TO THEM.
THE QUOTE ABOUT THE FIVE-ACRE
LOT IS WHAT IVE ALWAYS SAID.
THEY THINK ITS ONLY HAPPENING
TO THEM.
TO THEM. IN TERMS OF THE MEN IN GERALDS
SITUATION, I DONT THINK HES
TYPICAL.
TYPICAL.
IN THE POPULATION IVE BEEN
LOOKING AT FOR ALL THESE YEARS,
THE MEN HAVE LEARNED TO BE ENTITLED.AVE LEARNED TO BE
ENTITLED.
THEY ARE ENTITLED. THERES A LEVEL OF NARCISSISM.
THEY FEEL ABOVE THE LAW.
MANY OF THEM ARE ABOVE THE LAW.
ITS IMPORTANT THAT THE WOMEN DO
SPEAK OUT, DO GET EVIDENCE AND
DO PRESS CHARGES.
>> SUSAN, THANK YOU.