Moving on can be one of the hardest thing to do, especially after the first failed relationship.
We're not going to tell you it gets easier, nor are we going to tell you there are plenty
of fish in the sea, heartbreak hurts.
What we will tell you though is eventually their hurting will subside, maybe not now,
tomorrow or next week, but things will start to look up again as you spend time growing
with close loved ones and rediscover yourself.
Are you ready to tie the loose threads once and for all?
Here are seven signs you're ready for closure.
1. You've accepted that things are no longer working out.
You're not clinging on to any more false hope nor are you considering this last meet-up
as an opportunity to fix things.
You've come to terms with the fact that it was either bad timing, incompatibility or
the lack of compromise that has prevented the relationship from growing.
You're not looking to justify your actions or criticize your partner anymore, you just
want answers.
2. You're ready to take responsibility.
Some might argue that you'd be wasting your time trying to find closure, so why is it
for many that finding reason is still important?
It's simple, psychologists believe that only after understanding the situation, people
can restructure and understand the past, present and future better.
In a large part of this process, also means taking responsibility for your actions.
You realize that you too took a part in this relationship and you're willing to trust yourself
to make better decisions.
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Now on to point 3;
3. You've stopped blaming the other person.
You've moved past the bitter feelings of resentment.
You realize that blaming the other person isn't going to change anything.
Relationship experts believe that many people go into a relationship without assessing their
own values.
It's only along the way that when those values clash with another that the relationship often
suffers.
You want this closure to highlight those moments of disagreement and accept that too you have
different values instead of resenting them for it.
4. You've stopped blaming yourself.
Self-blame can be common, especially if you don't have a strong sense of self.
It's hard not to blame yourself after being vulnerable and intimate with someone when
you place so much emphasis on what you gave, but psychologist Alicia Clark states "self-forgiveness
helps you get to the bottom of why your relationship failed and prepares you for your next relationship.
You're not perfect, so don't beat yourself up over it".
5. You want to take important lessons from what went wrong.
When you're ready for closure, you no longer necessarily want to react, but rather, you'd
like to process the situation from an objective point of view.
You realize that the only way to go forward is to assess the mistakes and become proactive
in the future so as not to repeat them.
6.
You understand that the pain is inevitable but temporary.
You might still cry at the thought of your partner and that's OK.
Even years later, it might still hurt when a certain memory is triggered, that's why
healing is such a complicated process.
It's never straightforward, never what we want, but once we've begun to recognize that
it's not going to be forever, you're already moving on.
7. You're ready to hear things you might not want to hear.
What does it mean to let go?
A lot of it comes down to openness.
Being aware of the loss but not letting it consume you and hearing things that will hurt
but are necessary.
The truth isn't always kind, easy or convenient, but how we welcome it, that is ultimately
always our choice.
So ask yourself, are you ready for closure yet?
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