It turns out, 30 years ago,
when Bernie Sanders was the mayor of Burlington, Vermont,
he hosted a public access TV show.
Yeah. And a few days ago,
that TV network released the full archives online.
And I'm talking hours and hours
of pure Bernie gold.
Like, there's so much gold in these archives,
Bernie's gonna demand it gets redistributed
to the working class. That's how much gold there is.
And when you start watching this footage,
the first thing that's really apparent is
how consistent Bernie has been throughout his life.
We have a crisis situation.
We are one... we are one of two nations
in the industrialized world
that does not have a national health care system.
The wealthiest people in our country are becoming wealthier.
To a large degree, the tax system
in this country is extremely unfair,
in that it asks working people and elderly people
and poor people to pay too much,
while large corporations, uh,
and wealthy people do not pay their fair share.
Goddamn.
Bernie Sanders-- he just... he's never changed.
And I'm not talking about his platform.
The dude looked exactly the same back then as he does today.
You realize he's 46 years old in that photo.
I'm not joking. He's 46 years old.
He looks the same.
Like, if you traveled back in time in a time machine,
and the first person you met was Bernie Sanders, you'd be like,
"Aah, this piece of shit doesn't work."
(laughter, applause)
Bernie would be like, "No, my friend.
What doesn't work is our health care system."
(laughter)
Like, I... like, I wonder.
Has Bernie just looked like this his entire life?
Yeah, I bet when he was born, the doctor was like,
"Congratulations, Mrs. Sanders.
It's a beautiful, healthy old man. Well done."
(laughter, applause)
This is like...
And then, instead of spanking Bernie,
the doctor just shook his hand.
"Welcome to the world, Mr. Sanders.
Welcome to the world."
And although... although it's impressive
that Bernie's been consistent in his policies,
it really says more about America
than it says about Bernie, when you think about it, right?
He's saying the same thing for 30 years,
because America has had the same problems for 30 years.
But here's what makes this old TV show so amazing, right?
Uh, it wasn't just about Bernie's policies.
It was like a full TV show with different segments.
And by far, by far, the best segments of all
are the ones where he interacted with kids, right?
Like this segment, where he talks to some kids
at camp about drugs.
-Me. -You smoke?
(laughter)
Oh, man.
That's so adorable.
"I don't smoke because I'm five years old."
Like, it's almost like Bernie...
can't tell the difference between kids and adults.
He's like, "Let's talk finance. You guys diversified?
Who's got a 401(k)? Who? Who has a 401(k)?"
Who talks about cocaine with five-year-olds?
Like, the way he was asking the question
made it seem less like an anti-drugs talk
and more like he was trying to score some blow.
He was just like, "You guys know about cocaine?
"Uh, you know where I can find it at a good price?
"Come on, this is Vermont. Let's hit the slopes.
Come on, come on."
A-And on the show, Bernie didn't just talk to kids
about hard drugs.
He also called them out on their BS.
(laughter)
Oh, man.
Oh, wow!
Yo, I think this kid's about to get his ass kicked
-by Bernie Sanders. -(laughter)
And there'd be no coming back from that.
If Bernie kicked your ass,
you'd have to move to a different state.
And even then, you know there'd be one guy, he'd be like,
"Hey, didn't you get your ass beat by that 90-year-old?"
He'd be like, "He was only 46! I swear!"
So, you see, Bernie has always been
a pretty straightforward guy.
Right? But when it comes to kids,
he might take it a little bit too far.
Like, like for instance, there's one clip
where he showed up to a classroom
to teach the kids a lesson about bigotry,
but I think it might have backfired.
-Geez, Bernie. -(laughter)
What the (bleep), man?
These poor kids clearly don't harbor any of those stereotypes,
and now you're the one putting it in their heads.
(like Sanders): Uh, the blacks smell,
the Italians are in the Mafia, the Irish are drunks,
and, uh, why are we so scared of Jewish people?
(like a child): We're not, because they're equal?
(like Sanders): Wrong. They have strange sexual habits. Come on!
-(laughter) -Which, by the way, I've never even heard that one.
Yeah. I've never heard that one before.
I think that was just Bernie's way of saying
he's into some kinky shit; he was just slipping that in.
And... and if you think Bernie talking to kids at camp
or in the classroom was awkward,
right, sometimes he would just ambush random kids
who were standing on the street.
(laughter, groans)
"Don't be so shy"?
Actually, I think those kids
were the exact right amount of shy.
Think about it. A 46-year-old 90-year-old man
just rolled up...
threw open his door and asked,
"What do you kids think of these new trees?"
When... when kids' parents
told them not to talk to strange men on the street,
that is the definition of what they were talking about.
You saw the one girl. She was just like,
"I shouldn't be here. I'm..."
She just walked away.
-(cheering, applause) -She was out!
Like, I totally get why those kids were weirded out.
Bernie was just like, "Hey, you kids like trees?"
They're like, "Dude, let's get out of here.
I heard Jews have strange sexual habits."
(laughter)
But by far, by far, my favorite clip of all that we found
is when a little girl asks Mayor Bernie
to build an amusement park in her neighborhood,
and all of a sudden he turns it into a town hall.
I was just wondering, um...
my mother had this idea for... a-amusement...
an indoor-outdoor amusement park.
First thing that we have to do, though,
before we could do something like that
is to make sure that we own the land.
That's one of the concerns that we have.
At the present moment, we don't own a lot of the land
down in the... downtown.
It's owned by the railroad.
And one of the things that we're trying to do now
is to figure out which land we should buy
and how much we should pay for it.
So we're working on that.
But I think your mother's idea is a very good idea.
And I congratulate you for giving her all these good ideas.
Okay, well, I better get going, so...
All right. It was nice to see you.
Bye.
(cheering)
Yes!
Oh, yes!
That little girl is my hero.
'Cause she was asking a fun question,
and Bernie turned it into, like, a TED talk about zoning laws,
and you can tell she was totally over it.
Oh, man, that was so crazy.
Ah. You know what's also crazy is that that little girl
grew up to be Hillary Clinton.