Hey everybody, Mat Boggs here, and one of the key attributes to attracting the love
our life and being in a healthy relationship is being the person that we want to attract.
And so one of the questions that has come in is: What practice?
How can I be a happier person?
How can I self-generate happiness?
One of my friends, Brendan Buschard, likes to say, “You know, we don’t have energy,
we generate energy.”
So how can you be self-generative to generate happiness?
There’s a clue inside this story that I heard that I think will help.
The story goes like this: There’s two best friends.
They’re grown up since the time they were little kids and one of them was to be the
king of the kingdom and the other was just an average everyday peasant guy, but they
were totally great friends.
Oh, and one more thing.
The peasant had this magnificent way of looking at life.
The king’s best friend would always call everything good.
Anything that happened, “This is good.”
This is what we call a positivist.
He would always look at things from a perspective of, “Something good is coming out of thing.”
And so as the king finally became king, he was best friends with this peasant and they
would go and do these hunting trips.
So one day, they’re deep in the woods and they’re on this hunting trip.
The king goes to aim and fire at the game.
The rifle backfires and blows the king’s thumb off.
And his best friend looks at that and says, “Well, don’t worry about that because
this is good.
This is good that your thumb was blown off!”
And the king, blood coming out of his hands, in excruciating pain (and anybody would be),
is like, “What do you mean this is good?
This isn’t good!”
He got so upset and infuriated with his friend that he cast his friend into prison, into
his deepest, darkest dungeon, chains him to the wall and leaves him there.
Meanwhile, a year goes by.
He leaves his friend in this dungeon.
The king is out with his men hunting.
The king gets separated from his men and goes deeper and deeper into the woods and gets
captured by a group of cannibals.
The cannibals capture the king, strap him to a post, put wood underneath him, and they’re
about to light the fire to cook him and eat him when one of the cannibals notices that
the king is missing a thumb.
And the cannibals are a superstitious group of cannibals, and they believe that it is
not healthy to eat a body that isn’t whole.
And so they get afraid and they set the king lose.
The king rejoins his friends and he goes, “Oh my gosh, you can’t believe this.
I got captured, I was about to be burned at the stake and eaten, then they realized I
didn’t have a thumb and they let me go.”
And just then it dawns on him that his best friend, a year before, had said it was good
that he lost his thumb and he sent him to the dungeons.
So he’s like, “Oh my gosh, my best friend.”
He runs to the dungeon, he goes down the stairs, and swings the door open and there his friend
is chained to the wall.
And the king says, “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.
I’m so sorry that I sent you to this dungeon for this entire year you’ve been down here.”
He explained what happened getting caught with the cannibals and getting released because
he had blown off his thumb, and the king said, “You said it was good.
You said it was good.
How could I have been so stupid?
I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.”
And the friend down in the dungeon says, “Don’t worry.
It was good that I was down here for this year.”
And the king says, “How could it be good that you were down here for this year?
I am so sorry.”
And he goes, “No, it’s good because if I wasn’t here, I would’ve been out there
with you!”
And I love that story because what it speak to is the idea that there is good in everything
and it is up to us to find the good in each and every situation that we’re facing.
And I know that the dating process can be hard.
I know it can feel like there are no good men out there.
I know that it could feel, after your tenth date and the guy who shows up is bearded and
25 pounds over what he said he was going to do and has a pack of cigarettes when his profile
said that he wasn’t a smoker, you’re going out with this guy once again.
You’re like, “Oh my gosh.”
It can feel at times like it’s hopeless.
But there is good in every situation and one of the keys to holding yourself on a vibration
or a frequency of possibility, to positioning yourself for success, is to do a self-generative
process that cultivates happiness And so I’m going to give you three steps right now – three
things that you can do to help cultivate happiness.
The first one is focus.
Pay attention to what you’re focused on.
Are you focused on things that are negative in nature, things that are lacking?
Or things that are positive in nature?
Are you focused on the opportunities?
Are you focused on the things that are going right?
Because that focus – paying attention to what you’re paying attention to – where
is your focus directed?
The second thing is filter.
So we have focus, filter.
Filter what you’re allowing into your mind.
It’s easy to go on a negative stint and let it just spiral us down and down and down.
“Things aren’t going right and this doesn’t go right and I’ve put on 25 pounds.
No men want women in my age group,” and so on and so forth.
Filter what you’re allowing into your mind.
Stand guard at the gates of your own thoughts, of your own mind and filter what you’re
allowing in.
And if you’re getting bombarded by negative thoughts, filter those out and allow positive
thoughts to come in.
The last step is frame.
Focus, filter, frame.
Frame is what meaning are we giving the events in our lives.
If a guy asks for your number and then doesn’t call you, what meaning are you giving that?
Are you giving that, “All men are pond scum,” or that you’re not desirable?
Or are you giving it that meaning that this man is being swept aside for your man – the
real man in your life – to be brought forward?
Are you giving it the meaning that life is conspiring for the greater good of who you
are?
What meaning are you giving the events in your life?
And so two quick ideas with how to frame all events.
Number one is the statement, “This is what it looks like while it’s all happening.”
What if this is what it looks like while it’s all happening?
And number two, “What good, what value could I create from this situation that will move
me in the direction of my dream?”
You focus on those things and you’ll begin to generate more and more happiness every
single day.
So these three keys are going to position your mind.
You’re going to focus on the good, you’re going to filter out the negative, and you’re
going to frame up every event in your life so that you can find the good in that event.
And I’ll leave you with this practice, and this is a challenge.
If you want to experience more happiness, more joy, more positive experiences in your
life, take on this practice.
There have been scientific experiments that have proven that this practice actually works,
and that is that every morning, when you wake up, write down on a sheet of paper five things
that you’re grateful for.
Don’t just think about them.
Actually write them down: five things that you’re grateful for.
And the next day, add to that list five more things that you’re grateful for.
And do this consecutively for 30 days without repeating a gratitude.
You might find that at first this might be challenging, but you’ll begin to unlock
areas of yourself that are grateful for things in expanded regions of your life, because
abundance is harmonious with gratitude.
When we’re grateful, we’re in a state of gratitude, doors open up, people come into
our lives, situations begin to come to us out of the blue.
So I encourage you to take on this gratitude challenge – 30 days, five thing every morning
– and I also have a gift for you.
I’ve posted a link in the description where you can click that link and get a special,
customized, downloadable gratitude list.
This is a list that you can fill in every single morning.
I’ve created that for you to help you through that process.
I promise you that as you focus on what brings you life, as you filter out the negative,
and as you frame up every event where you can create value and you’ve practiced these
gratitudes, you will become a happier person every single day.
So if you’re not subscribed to this channel, make sure you get subscribed, and I look forward
to seeing you soon.