*Muffled sounds*
???
Where am I?
Not so in control now, are you?
What?
Who are you?
Oh look at that.
For someone who knows ENFPs so well,
you certainly struggle to recognize a real one standing right in front of you.
What?
Calm down, ENFP.
We decided against Good Cop/Bad Cop, remember?
Well you guys went out for coffee!
I wasn't gonna miss the opportunity to grill her for myself.
Grill me?
Grill me about what?
Those shocking stereotypes that you perpetuate on your channel
that are not even a little a bit true.
See?
I'm being mean.
Bet you never knew an ENFP could be mean, did you?
Ouch.
That kind of hurts.
Aw, I'm sorry.
Darn it.
Oh my gosh, she woke up!
Hi!
Sorry that we kidnapped you.
Would you like some water?
It's not poisoned, I promise.
That's not convincing.
Oi why are you being nice to her?
We've finally got her!
Let's do the thing!
Thing?
Wha-what what thing?
The thing we've been training for.
Hold on everyone.
Let's not be too hasty.
You are Dear Kristin of the YouTube channel "dear kristin", are you not?
Yes.
Start the tape recorder.
Dear Kristin.
First name "Dear", last name "Kristin".
You think my first name is "dear"?
No one's name is "dear".
The humans in Lady in the Tr*mp beg to differ.
Ah.
You must be an ISFP.
Darn it.
I had one shot at an opening line and I chose to mention animals?
What was I thinking?
You weren't thinking.
You're never thinking.
Enough!
Dear Kristin,
we have kidnapped you and brought you here
on account of the criminal stereotypes that you perpetuate on your YouTube channel,
which obliterate nuance and box us into categories that have
no business being categories.
And you made us have a 10-minute conversation about whether or not a fridge is white.
Okay to be fair, that video did actually have quite a bit of nuance to it.
It was a topic that didn't need nuancing.
Are you just mad because she made your character
randomly obsessed with goggles?
No.
It was completely valid that she had me put on my goggles to go in the rain,
given that I wear contact lenses and need to protect them from raindrops.
Ah but you see THAT information would have been helpful to include.
Rather than simply letting you become a goggled meme.
Well I don't really watch YouTube videos,
nor do I particularly care about a stereotype of my personality in the abstract.
In fact, things in the abstract in general make me angry.
Hence my initial comment about the preposterous fridge conversation.
Why are you here then?
Because you threatened all of us?
The ENTP told me that if I came I'd get to see the INTJ get cut off again.
Yes I did.
If you want to see that, all you have to do is watch me interact with
anyone who defines themselves as "woke" these days.
If you'd been at St. John Street intersection half an hour ago,
you would have seen the INTJ get cut off.
You didn't even put on your indicator.
I didn't need to.
You were traveling at like 2km an hour.
Operating a vehicle is highly dangerous.
Not that you've ever considered that,
you scallywag.
Could I go home please?
Sorry.
This tends to happen when you let the Ts talk for too long.
What?
Most importantly, Kristin.
*fake laughter*
With all of your claimed personality awareness,
shouldn't you know better than to imply that ENFJs are just
perpetually unpacking and psychoanalyzing everyone?
In fact,
one might argue that perhaps it points to YOU
having some subconscious insecurity about being unpacked
that you are now projecting onto other people,
which you have a responsibility not to do...
Are you trying to unpack why she makes you unpack everything?
Are you trying to unpack her need to unpack why Kristin makes her unpack everything?
Are you trying to unpack my need to unpack her need to unpack-
No!
You remember what happened last time the camera was on you two for too long.
We lost an entire character.
Actually, I believe she was taken and haunted by
ghosts, thank you very much.
Oh yes and that's the other thing!
Why in the heck would ENFJs enjoy getting haunted by ghosts?
We're not insane!
I'm throwing you all with this shirt colour, aren't I?
...Because you'd find it fascinating listening to the burdens that are
weighing them down in limbo and you'd want to
help them process those burdens so that they can move on to heaven in peace?
Yeah well...
darn it I would actually love that.
Is there somewhere that I can sign up to do that?
Oh finally she's woken up!
Not so nice being kidnapped, is it?
How about we sit there and force you to talk about YOUR feelings, hmmm?
Um, yes!
I would love that!
I have quite a few happening right now that I'd love to unpack.
Excellent suggestion for torturing an ESFP.
How about we just lock her in a room full of snakes and spiders?
Wasn't that the original plan?
You do know she's Australian, right?
Actually, we're all technically Australian.
Therefore, we should all technically
not be scared of spiders and bugs.
Cause that's how that logic works, right?
And she frequently fraternizes with an adorable
huntsman spider named "Cheeky Boi".
Incorrect.
You might recall that she's never actually gone near Cheeky Boi.
She only films him for content,
don't you, Kristin?
In fact, I'm willing to bet that she's petrified of spiders.
You don't know me.
I think you'll find that I do know you.
Kristin, you'll have to forgive me for not
participating very much in this conversation.
I'm too busy baking a cake for all of my friends!
I knew you had some sass in you, Jenny.
No really.
It's almost done.
We can have it in about 5 minutes.
SPEEEAKING of tea,
"Christmas Breakfast"?
Really?
I'm not that simple.
I've got layers, thank you very much.
Well at least you actually got typed as a tea.
Some of us didn't even get typed as a tea.
There are
worse things in life.
So sorry we're late everyone.
We went a bit nuts at the library.
And the stationery shop!
There was a sale.
But we've got all the materials-
Wait, why is she tied up?
I thought this was meant to be a learning event.
Learning?
I know.
It was the only way I could get these three to participate.
Yes, you said we'd finally get a chance to show her how Ti really works.
And Si.
And we're going to demonstrate how logical INFJs really are.
And how some INTPs are female,
and like, you know,
trees and stuff.
And how some INFJs like Minecraft,
or Warcraft.
...or handcraft.
Oh and of course how some ISFJs will stab you with a knitting needle
if you threaten their stash of alpaca.
Darn straight.
That's something I learned the hard way.
I didn't actually threaten them;
I just mistook them for trees.
Enough!
That is not why we're here today, okay?
We're here to right wrongs.
Exactly!
By education.
Absolutely!
It's the only true way.
Also, I do have a knitting needle in my back pocket,
so perhaps you should back away from the prisoner.
I've even brought "The Body Keeps the Score".
I think we could all do with reading that.
Pfff!!
Look you've got the choice here.
Would you rather a brisk, exciting interrogation?
Or a long, slow and painful education
with the Ti/Fe axis of Boredom over here?
So what's it going to be,
oh great and wise personality theorist?
[Ominous music]
Okay, where were we?
I'm surprised the INFJ didn't mention how utterly over-the-top I go with the
high-school-girl-crush cyberstalking stereotype.
It's the second most common thing that I hear about from the INFJs in the comments.
The first most common being that they're INFJs, obviously.
If we wanted to torture her,
we should have just strapped her up and forced her to watch musicals all day.
What?
You thought I only drank milk?
What are you doing here?
What have I ever done to you?
Nothing, really.
But I had to come, otherwise the title of this video would have been inaccurate.
...which would have bugged me.
What video?
I have a feeling we're in a video right now.
What have I told you from the start?
We've always been in a video.
We don't exist outside of videos.
Is your beer regenerating?
Bi-locating.
Gimme it.
I'm still bi-loWAITING for us to come up with a good punishment for Kristin.
Hmmm, not sure if I'm experiencing Deja Vu or if it's just my
crazy brain playing tricks on me!
By the way, our hair isn't always perfectly neat, okay?
We do have some bumps on occasion.
Sorry to interrupt,
but did I just hear someone suggest that we torture an ESFP by playing musicals all day?
Yep. That was me.
You're a TI dom.
How would you not know that an ESFP would froth that?
Especially this ESFP?
Okay I've lost interest in this.
Yes I would froth that.
Thank you, slightly-less-mature-ESFP-that-is-based-on-a-younger-version-of-myself.
Oo!
That's unpackable.
Also Kristin, I just have to point out that my name is Laura, not Lauren.
You of all people should know better than this,
because you hate it when people call you "Kirstin"
No!
or even worse, "KrisTEN".
No please!
Make it stop!
Perhaps you'd like the musicals,
but what if you were forbidden from singing along?
With punishment for non-compliance in the form of being sent to the storage room
to perform monotonous tasks all day with no people around?
Do you just have a prepared list of ideas of how to punish people?
You should see what my version of all your videos would be like.
Well I guess we never will.
Because you lack the patience to make YouTube videos.
Oh and what, you DO have patience?
No.
But it doesn't require patience for me
because sensory tasks don't bore me.
You don't know me.
You know I know you.
Well you are me, so that doesn't count.
I'm not you.
You're the rogue part of my brain that I've labeled "Dark Kristin".
Okay surely THAT is unpackable.
Can you not see that you're all walking stereotypes right now?
It's 'cause you're still writing us.
You're always writing us.
No actually.
My Patreon community wrote most of this script.
They love roasting me.
A-HA!
So you admit it!
Okay fine!
I can live with the stereotypes, okay?
I just need you to acknowledge
that ENFPs are not stupid.
Just clumsy.
Oh would you just calm down?
You don't even have the worst stereotype.
Yeah.
Just you wait until the INFP gets involved in this.
What?
Is there an INFP?
Yeah.
Why?
Hide me!
It's too late for that, Kristin.
The damage is done.
[Sad piano music]
Oh please, like she did you any more dirty than she did the rest of us.
I'm a jaded conspiracy theorist who hates everyone.
Yeah but how about in the skits?
Wow.
Even in real life you never miss an opportunity for a joke, do you?
This isn't real life.
*sings* Is this the real life?
Well I do hope you've all achieved what you wanted to here.
Right now you've lost most of the audience's attention span, so
we'd best be wrapping this up.
And there it is.
You can expect her to be cutting me off in three...
two...
one.
Okay so she deliberately didn't cut me off in order to prove me wrong.
But I've undone that wrong now by guessing her motives, so.
Can you just, before anyone goes anywhere,
acknowledge that ENFPs are intelligent.
Yes, you're intelligent.
All of you could or could not be intelligent.
That's not what Myers-Briggs measures.
Then why do you always make us so ditzy?
Shouldn't you,
my fellow Fi-user,
be glad that you don't relate to a stereotype?
Don't you thrive on being different?
Yeah!
But I also need to make sense of myself using labels.
Well, let me spoil it for you.
You're never going to fully be able to relate to one of my characters.
None of you are.
Because you're not characters.
You're each multifaceted individuals
with beauty and nuance.
But
we need tools that help us start these conversations.
And we need content that keeps these conversations going.
Otherwise I'd just be a girl sitting in my. room talking to myself.
And I'd be a heck of a lot further away from understanding others, so
it's fun to laugh at the stereotypes sometimes.
You got any snarky comments to say to that one, INTJ?
No actually.
That was actually kind of
heartwarming.
Really?
How so?
Well,
I guess sometimes I feel a little bit
sad that
[Music]
Look I think we can all agree that I've won this one,
given that I've shown up in pink.
And she never lets any NT wear pink.
Can we all agree that that's a thing?
I think we can all agree that that's a thing!