- Welcome to Bless Your Rank.
My name is Matt and today we are ranking salads.
(laughs)
Don't be crazy.
Chicken sandwiches!
Fast food chicken sandwiches, of course.
It's fried, it's fast food, it's bad for you.
I'm eating it.
That's how it works here.
(rock music)
Criteria, taste, as is with everything we've ever done
on Bless Your Rank, presentation.
I want that chicken sandwich to be purty.
Not pretty, purty.
The third thing, crispiness because it's a fried chicken
sandwich it should be crispy.
No one wants soggy fried chicken.
Competitor number one, Zaxby's.
I don't think that I've ever had a chicken sandwich
from Zaxby's before.
Listen, you go to Zaxby's and you get chicken fingers.
You don't go to, you know, a steakhouse
and order, you know, the hamburger.
You get a steak.
I have no idea what this even looks like.
That's underwhelming.
This bun looks like, it's wrinkled up like a
like a 60 year old man or a 30 year old smoker.
This buns been smoking a pack a day since tenth
grade in high school.
Minimal lettuce which is sometimes a problem
with chicken sandwiches.
They go all out on lettuce and mayonnaise
but also it looks like the buns been buttered a little bit.
I respect that.
Tomatoes, you know, they exist.
Underneath the chicken sandwich.
Shouldn't have looked at that.
Just enough white stuff to congeal
to where I don't think that's mayonnaise.
I'll tell you what, I am happy though that it's not
just chicken tenders on a bun.
That makes me angry.
I like it!
I like the breading on it.
The breading on this sandwich is the same
on the chicken fingers which is really good.
I would rather have the Zaxby's sauce
on this sandwich, than the mayonnaise.
I liked that they buttered up the buns.
I liked the breading on the chicken.
It's got just a little bit of like,
it's not spicy it's Zaxby's.
It's good.
This is a good chicken sandwich.
I give it two thumbs up which is the rating system
we don't use on Bless Your Rank.
You are in first place.
Congratulations.
Don't get cocky 'cause you're the also last place.
Contestant number two, Whataburger.
I have never had a chicken sandwich from Whataburger.
But I'm excited about it 'cause Whataburger
has never really let me down.
Except for the sweet tea that time.
Half the size of my hand.
Look at this thing.
Ooh, there's a pile of sauce down here.
Seems crispy.
Some sort of multi-grain huh?
Not a fan of that.
Whoever was in charge of saucing the chicken sandwich
today was intoxicated.
They also get their tomatoes from the same place
as Zaxby's apparently.
Big ole piece of lettuce and then their special sauce
which I can't, I don't know.
Hold on.
It's like a honey roasted barbecue kind of hybrid
along the same lines as like Chick-fil-A sauce.
I like the size of the chicken though
and it takes up a good bit of the bun here.
There's no way to eat this without getting
something on you though.
It's not the best thing on Whataburger's brand name.
I like this sauce a lot, in moderation.
And it's just kind of underwhelming.
But also, it's in their name, is Whataburger.
Like they're making the chicken sandwich
for someone out there that I guess can't eat
like hamburger meat.
I know this could be better.
I like the sauce so just maybe don't, you know,
pour a whole bucket of it on there.
It's in second place.
Competitor number three, Chick-fil-A.
I'm pretty familiar with the Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich.
I've had quite a few of these.
I like Chick-fil-A's delivery system too.
Like I don't know if any other restaurants
that gives it to you in this like little pouch.
Chick-fil-A's basic chicken sandwich
they don't have time for lettuce and tomato.
Standard bun.
I do think that they butter the buns a little bit.
And then just two pickles and the chicken.
It's a good sandwich.
You really taste the butter on the bread
'cause they don't put anything between that and the chicken.
They don't believe in sauces.
They don't believe in lettuce, tomato.
I really like the sandwich but after
having already two chicken sandwiches today
I'm starting to realize that Chick-fil-A's chicken
is a tad bit dry.
The batter on the chicken is really good.
I don't think it's as good as Zaxby's but it is good.
I like these little parts of the chicken sandwich.
It's like a little bonus meal right there.
When you get the standard chicken sandwich
at Chick-fil-A, you get like the base model of the car.
It is not better than Zaxby's.
I think right now, Chick-fil-A is in second place.
Sandwich number four is from
I guarantee you that you had to pull ahead
to wait on this for five minutes though.
Well, the thing about the McChicken sandwich is,
it's a dollar.
You can let a lot of things slide when you're
getting something for a dollar.
Bun?
Pretty basic McDonald's bun.
They've looked the same for as long as I've been alive.
Lettuce, shredded.
Mayonnaise, yes it is everywhere.
And then there's the chicken.
Of the competitor's so far, the saddest piece of chicken.
Chewy.
Tastes like I've been out drinking
and the only thing open in my town is McDonald's.
That should be their slogan.
You're drunk and you don't wanna spend a lot of money.
Here's a McChicken.
This meat, this chicken is dark.
It's just processed chicken, right?
This definitely looks like processed chicken to me.
The spiciness of it is just pepper.
This is enough mayonnaise to kill a man right here.
The only thing I can think to say about McDonald's
and if you're listening McDonald's,
is bring back the spicy McChicken sandwich.
When you put it up against these other competitors here
it just doesn't, it just doesn't hold up.
So it is what it is.
It's McDonald's.
I think that should probably be
the new slogan for McDonald's.
Yeah, it's us again.
So I think McDonald's right now is in fourth place.
Competitor number five is from Burger King.
I believe that we've only ever ranked one thing
from Burger King on Bless Your Rank
and it was their biscuit and it killed me.
No, there's not gonna be anything crispy
about this chicken sandwich.
I mean this is like hard, but like not crispy hard
like it's kind of crystallized.
I don't like the shape of this.
I don't like the bun.
This whole thing should be killed by fire.
This is like a hot dog dressed up
as a chicken sandwich for Halloween.
There's mayonnaise underneath the sandwich.
Mayonnaise on top, mayonnaise on the bottom.
Sesame seeds all over the place.
This chicken that's shaped like the
Dr. Scholl's insert for your shoe.
There's a gaping whole in the middle
of this chicken sandwich.
What is this?
This doesn't happen naturally.
This is like they were gonna create some kind of like
jelly filled chicken and they stopped halfway.
Like a bear's gonna hibernate in here for the winter.
This is not a hot pocket this is a failure pocket.
It makes me sad that chickens died for this.
Where does it rank?
Surprise surprise, dead last.
All right, contestant number, three, five, six.
Arby's.
We have the chicken sandwiches.
Meat craft.
Is that like a new trade school like program?
'Cause I would sign up for that.
More restaurant that apparently has to get rid of
five gallons of mayonnaise a day.
Bigger slices of tomato.
Very thinly sliced lettuce.
Bun not buttered.
They're too busy putting fancy x-marks the spot
things on the buns here.
This is unnecessary.
There's nothing really that just stands out.
It's just like, the chicken, it's not the best piece
of chicken up here but it's got good flavor.
Tomatoes were okay, lettuce is okay.
Went a little crazy there on the mayonnaise
but that seems to be the trend these days.
It had something that some of the other chicken
restaurants don't have and that's crispiness.
This is a good chicken sandwich.
I think it's not better than the Chick-fil-A.
I think Chick-fil-A is better than Arby's.
Our final competitor.
Competitor number seven, Hardees.
Can't see it.
He's wrapped up and swaddled up like a little baby.
This little seven pounds six ounce baby chicken sandwich.
Big ole bun, big ole chicken, big ole everything.
Mayonnaise on top, mayonnaise on the bottom.
Standard pieces of tomato.
Pretty standard looking lettuce.
It's like bigger chunks of lettuce.
Bun on the bottom is burnt.
Ooh, that's dry.
They were more worried about making it like thinner
to cover the bun I think.
Usually a bigger piece of chicken means
it's gonna be a little bit juicier.
When you spread it out and it's thinner like this
it's gonna get dry.
There's nothing great about this.
I would much rather have a burger from Hardees.
This is a big ole hunk of disappointment kind of.
I mean when they take like three hours to make your sandwich
it should be really really good.
I thought that this would be a real contender
for first place and it is most certainly not.
Better than McDonald's.
I don't think that it's better than Whataburger.
What did we learn today children?
We learned that number one, Zaxby's has
a chicken sandwich now.
It's pretty darn good.
Chick-fil-A brought its A game today.
It usually brings it's A game.
It always tastes the same.
If it was just a little bit juicier and not quite as dry,
I think maybe it would have given Zaxby's
a little bit more run for its money.
Arby's just tastes great.
There's really nothing about it that stands out
and it makes me say this is a great chicken sandwich
but somehow it all works together.
Whataburger needs to chill out with the sauce.
Hardees was a little bit of a disappointment.
McDonald's is McDonald's.
Burger King can leave.
(cheering and clapping)
All right, I'm gonna finish eating this cold sandwich now
'cause even if it's ice cold
it's still better than Burger King.
(rock music)
Aren't you just precious.
You're just adorable, yes you are.
Yes you are, look at you.
Tease your little lettuce.
(rock music)
Getting kind of weird up here.