I'm a big icecream guy.
I got a cone every night every night. Every night you're cone guy? You're shredded!
Take your shirt off, come on!
What's up everybody.
Welcome to Stupid Questions with Chris DiStefano.
I'm Chris DiStefano. This is Mark Normand.
You can check out his Web site.
Mark Normand comedy dot com or watch a special.
Don't be yourself on Comedy Central dotcom.
Listen to his podcast Tuesdays with stories.
Nailed it nailed that. I got a lotta intro's for you.
You know more than my parents.
You're a pope for the day. Oh wow.
What would you now make a sin. What would you decree as a sin.
Probably DJ'ing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I'd get rid of DJ'ing that just bothers me. Yeah this guy sucks.
Yeah they make so much money.
I know. Some of them. Calvin Harris makes 45 million a year.
What. To DJ! What is that.
I don't know. I mean it's not an instrument.
One time I saw a DJ using his equipment
on top of a grand piano which is like
that's like banging a blow up doll on top an actual woman.
Come on.
What do you think's the absolute worst name
you could name a kid. What's just a crap, dumb name.
What's a bad name. I guess hemorrhoid.
Johnson is up there.
This is a true person that existed that I knew.
OK. Her last name was Jar OK. And her first name was Pickel.
Come on. Not lying to you. Wow.
I know a girl in my middle school Shanda
last name Lear. Shanda Lear. She's a stripper now. Stupid names.
All right next stupid question
we're both stand up comics here.
What's your best bombing story or worst.
One time I did a gig at the Comedy Cellar went pretty well.
So this guy said Hey I work in a hedge fund.
I want to come roast my company.
So he gave me a whole rap sheet of all his employees.
And it was heavy Stubby's
Be vicious be brutal really kill him and I was like
All right you got it. Get in there white tablecloth.
Embrace looks well-to-do rich and he goes
All right. There's your podium. You've got your list
I've got it all and I just go into and I go
Bob we all know you're cheating on your wife
and she's there she's like what the fuck!
And that didn't go well. So I move on I go
Hey Jim we all know you're addicted to coke
and sponsors they're like What the hell what are you crazy.
You lied to me you know. So he leaves and I go
Hey Jeff we all know you're gay. His kids are there like
"I knew it Dad!"
And they all run out and I'm bombing horribly.
I do like five more of those none of them work you know I get off stage
and the guys like what the hell was that.
What was that. That was crazy
I was like I just used the stuff you gave me like you
blew it! you blew it and I got no money.
Next to question what would be the worst.
Buy one get one free sale of all time.
Wow. Buy one get one free What do you thinks the worst.
Probably prostitute because you have sex with one prostitute
you feel the shame
you don't even want the other one. Once you're finished.
You're like wow this was a big mistake and two it's like
when you go to the grocery store hungry like aw
I was too horny I was thinking with my dick
so my eyes are bigger than my dick.
There was a guy in Vegas
I saw he was like walk down the street
he goes what corner of the tutes
on. The tutes! He just called prostitues "tutes"
I was like I don't know. Do I look like a guy
who owns a prostitue like "where are the tutes!"
Alright, you having a good time here?
I had a blast! love it. Do some stupid questions with Chris DiStefano
This is what I do. Great! You're a good host.
I got you. I got you a gift.
I'm honored. I can't believe it.
So I know you're from New Orleans.
Yes. Crawfish. Aw come on!
these. I don't know what these are crawfish, lobster, crab claws.
I love it. Well that was good right.
Yeah. This is great thank you.
Stupid Questions. With Chris Distefano I'm Chris Distefano.
This is Mark Normand. Check him out.
Mark Normand comedy dot com Tuesdays with stories
and his special "Don't Be Yourself"