Hello my name is Ysis Lorenna, welcome back to mindful motherhood Monday this
is a place for all parents to stop reflect and discuss about parenting and
to think about our own parenting experiences and share with other parents
who are also interested in this dialogue and in this video I want to talk about
self care for mums and dads as well I'm going to share five tips to get started
with self care if you find it daunting if you don't know where to start if in
your mind self-care looks like a very unachievable thing I hope you take
something positive out of this video something that will encourage you to
take action towards your own self-care please give this video a like and share
it with a friend who you think might need a little bit of self-care in their
lives and don't forget to subscribe to my channel I post mind for motherhood
videos every Monday and I also post on Fridays as well so now let's get
straight into the video
so we all know that being the best mom that we can be requires us to be the
best version of ourselves and in order to do that we need to make intentional
choices and sometimes changes in our lives to look after ourselves
unfortunately we can't do what our children do and just snap our fingers -
out orders and be taken care of so we have to take action and you have to put
yourself on that to-do list and preferably on top of that to-do list I
find that there are usually two categories that we fit in as mums when
it comes to self-care either the mums were desperate for some self-care but
just have no child care or no time or the ones who feel really guilty if they
take any time for themselves to look after themselves and for self-care and I
find myself fitting into both of these categories multiple times depending on
what's happening in my life so it's not exclusive you're either one or the other
but I do find that these are the most common barriers for self-care but
whatever type of mum you are or whatever your situation the truth is without
self-care we can easily burn out and find even the smallest day-to-day
activities a chore or even feel resentment towards our children our
partner our friends who have time for self-care and so from my personal
experience when I dedicate time for myself I feel like I have a lot more
clarity I have more patience I have more time for my children and I feel like a
better person in a better mom to my children and that's why I decided to
make a priority for self-care in my life when I could see the benefits of it not
just for myself but for my children as well when I take just a few minutes for
myself every day I feel like my head is so much clearer and I deal with the
challenges that we face on our normal day to day lives with a lot more
patience and presence of mind so now I'm going to share five tips for you to get
started with self-care and hopefully take all those barriers
down stop putting difficulties for self-care
and start making an effort towards using self-care to feel better and to be a
better parent and this video is going to be in two parts the second part of this
video will be next week's or next Monday and that all contains some practical
self-care tips for busy moms mums who don't have childcare and so if you're in
a situation now where you're desperate for some self-care but you just don't
have the time or the space or the anything next week's video will have a
few practical tips of what you can actually do to have self-care when you
don't have time and you don't have childcare but in this video I'm gonna
share my five most important tips to get started to get your mind in the right
place for self-care so the first tip I have in the most important tip is to
turn self-care into a habit it's something that needs to be in the diary
like the kids swimming lessons ballet lessons any after-school clubs parents
evening self-care needs to become a habit and it needs to be something that
everyone in the family knows it's happening for you it's your activity
everyone have their activities you have to have yours as well and once your
family knows that it's happening they will stick to it because they will know
to expect it and it will no longer feel like a treat it will be your activity it
will be the thing that you do and everybody respects it and then it
becomes normal so that is my first tip make it a habit and make sure that
everyone in the family knows about it my second tip is a way to make you stick to
your self-care plans and that is to make plans with other people because you're
much less likely to give up on an appointment if you know you're going to
disappoint a friend so when I am feeling like I want to go for a run but I might
give up later on in a day on how tired I am I usually message my
friends straight away and if she says that she's come in that way I know I'm
committed to go for a run with my friend and I will not cancel unless there's an
actual situation or something that I cannot make it anymore but making plans
with friends is a great way to help you stick to your self-care activities and
if you're just getting started with self-care that will be the first
stumbling block that you hit will be to stick to it you'll find that you do the
first and second time okay fine but then things will get in the way life will get
in the way and all of a sudden you're back to where you were before where you
just don't take any time for yourself so maybe find a friend who's in a
similar situation to yours struggling to find time for themselves and commit to
using that time to make each other stick to your own self-care my third tip is to
stop apologizing to your kids for taking time for yourself and this is something
that I have to practice more often because when I was thinking about the
topic for this video I realized how often I apologize to my kids for going
to the gym going for a run for going out to get my hair done on my nails done so
it's time to stop apologizing for making yourself a priority think about the
lessons that you could be teaching your children here you're teaching them that
it's important to look after themselves that friendships matter that having
interests matters that hobbies matter that feeling good about yourself matter
there exercising matters so instead of saying something like sorry mommy has to
go to the gym you can say do you know what I'm going to do now I'm going to
have loads of fun exercising in the gym and that way you teaching your children
that having fun is important and that looking after yourself and your body in
your mind is important our children are never too young to learn about self-care
and they learn a lot from what we do and what we say so it's really important
that you make sure that your narrative lines up with what you're trying to
teach them my fourth tip is don't let it feel daunting self-care is anything that
makes you happy fulfilled relaxed it doesn't have to be a spa day it doesn't
have to be a weekend away without the children it doesn't have to be a whole
day spent in the salon getting your hair and your nails and your pedicure and
facial it can be anything that makes you happy so if you don't let it don't new I
bet that you can find lots more opportunities in your day for self-care
and my last tip is to ask and offer and I think this tip applies mostly if you
have a husband a partner a wife a boyfriend but it can also be between two
friends who are in desperate need of self-care you can commit to asking and
offering help to each other it's so important to recognize that your partner
also needs self-care and if you ask your partner to look after the children so
you can go and have some time for yourself
make sure that you return the favor by offering to look after the children so
that they can have some time for themselves as well that way you're both
recognizing that you're equal parents and you both need time to recharge and
to feel refreshed so these are my five self-care tips to start your journey to
looking after yourself more taking some regular dedicated time for yourself and
a feeling like you're on top of things not feeling so overwhelmed feeling more
patients more present in the moment because you've had a minute or a moment
or an hour for yourself I hope this was helpful don't forget to tune in next
week to see my practical self-care ideas for busy parents and parents who don't
have any child care please give this video a thumbs up if you enjoyed it
leave a comment below letting me know how you're feeling about self-care at
the moment do you find that you have in of it all do you feel like you need to
start looking after yourself more don't forget to subscribe if you're new to my
channel and I will see you very soon bye