>> ARTHUR: You ever have to use that thing? - No.
>> EVAN: No player's ever pissed me off that much. Yet.
>> ARTHUR: Not that a dart gun would stop anyone challenging a GM call.
>> EVAN: You'd be surprised. Nerds take that "aim away from face" warning pretty seriously.
>> ARTHUR: Ever been tempted?
>> EVAN: And then the second trap goes off. >> ARTHUR: What?
>> SHANE: Uh, no, no, no, no, no. That rule's from Fourth Edition, not Fifth. See? Evan?
>> ARTHUR: Please! Just let me get past the door without taking damage from a dart! Is it poisoned?
>> EVAN: No sooner spoken than broken. >> WILL: Silence!
>> WILL: First result!
>> ARTHUR: I'll use my last potion and I need it for whatever's BEHIND the door!
>> ARTHUR: I'm gonna die! Noctus will die!
>> EVAN: Let's just say that if a player ever gets hit by a dart from that gun, it means they really fucked up.
>> EVAN: There's a reason it's called The Exiler.
>> ARTHUR: Fuck yeah!
>> ARTHUR: Fuck yes.
>> ARTHUR: That's how I roll.
>> ARTHUR: Ow!
>> ARTHUR: Felnor Forest stands between us and Sir Kelleth's keep.
>> ARTHUR: Half-orcs guard its borders.
>> SHANE: We can't risk any half-orc getting their hands on the Eleventh Eye.
>> BRITTANY: It's settled, then. Biff and I will guard the Eleventh Eye here, while Noctus and Astra secure passage through the forest.
>> EVAN: You're splitting the party.
>> BRITTANY: I thought we might roleplay. Do some deep character exploration.
>> EVAN: Of Will's character? Thirty-five seconds, tops.
>> EVAN: When you're done, you know where we'll be.
>> WILL: So . . . instead of the action, we just wait.
>> WILL: You signed us up for less fun!
>> BRITTANY: Corillia's never had a chance to talk with Biff privately.
>> SHANE: All we need is passage through the forest. >> EVAN: None pass!
>> EVAN: We still remember what happened the last time you came through here!
>> ARTHUR: That was a misunderstanding!
>> EVAN: Your friend married the chieftan's daughter and then ran off in the middle of the night!
>> SHANE: Biff did WHAT?
>> ARTHUR: Actually, that was Corillia.
>> BRITTANY: I envy your carefree attitude, Biff. The life of a mage is one of rigorous study and discipline.
>> WILL: Uh, rangers shoot things . . . in forests. We talk to plants? It's boring.
>> BRITTANY: That's why you took up adventuring?
>> WILL: Actually, it's cause Arthur said I'd get to hit Evan with foam sticks.
>> BRITTANY: Biff, aren't there other things that thrill you?
>> BRITTANY: I am not exciting enough for you?
>> WILL: We're just waiting for Astra and Noctus to come back.
>> BRITTANY: Why just wait?
>> SHANE: We're running out of time! >> EVAN: And I am running out of patience!
>> EVAN: If you don't leave right now I'll send a missive—to the King!
>> ARTHUR: No! Not that! Anything but that!
>> ARTHUR: Let's go.
>> SHANE: Okay, fuck it!
>> ARTHUR: Wait! He's one of the strongest NPCs on the continent. He can kill a PC in one hit!
>> SHANE: Well, I suppose if you put it that way—what the fuck?
>> ARTHUR: Silent Strike!
>> ARTHUR: A rogue always finds his target.
>> SHANE: Killstealer!
>> ARTHUR: (laughter)
>> BRITTANY: Biff, what do you think of elves?
>> WILL: Well, I mean, uh, the ears are cute. I used to get the weirdest boners watching Fern Gully.
>> BRITTANY: Did you now?
>> EVAN: Check!
>> WILL: (long sigh)
>> ARTHUR: Will, "Check" means stop playing.
>> EVAN: It looks like they stopped playing a while ago.
>> BRITTANY: It's just character development!
>> WILL: Yeah! I was just saying how being a ranger totally sucks, and that got Corillia all hot, and— >> BRITTANY: It's all in character. It's okay!
>> WILL: Yeah, yeah, totally in character.
>> SHANE: Oh, so Biff has something for 200-year-old women!
>> WILL: What?
>> ARTHUR: Well, elves only go through puberty at 200 years old, during the Ritual of the Wooded Binding.
>> WILL: Okay, whatever. Age won't stop Biff from exploring the Southern Temple of Lust. >> EVAN: Check!
>> ARTHUR: Southern Temple of Lust . . .
>> ARTHUR: Ew. Ew. Ew.