LEO PARENTE: I think we've all had that girlfriend or
boyfriend that wasn't quite right, the one that was
supposed to be the one, but wasn't.
And in the brutal light of honesty, you knew--
not the easiest to get along with, not the most attractive,
not the quickest.
But for whatever reasons, you found yourself together.
And on a daily basis, it was a struggle.
But whatever.
You said to yourself, I'll try and make it work.
Still, it always felt awkwardly wrong.
Then, one time, one glorious moment, it all went right, the
way it should be, the way you knew you deserved it to be.
But in the morning after, you knew--
this changes nothing.
And Fernando Alonso knows it, too.
Even after his Malaysia win and world championship points
lead, for Ferrari, this win changes nothing.
And that, Shakedowners, is my Malaysia F1 report.
The real punchline?
Well, first, the setup.
Alonso goes P1 in the piggy Ferrari.
Ferrari Driving Academy protege Sergio Perez goes P2
in his Sauber-Ferrari, delivering a great audition
for his selection for the Ferrari F1 second seat.
And Felipe Massa, given a brand new chassis for this
race to blend his complaints about it being the car, not
him, well, Massa finishes P15 in Malaysia.
Now the punchline--
I bet no one's telling Massa this changes nothing.
The shirt?
We're talking F1 today.
But let me explain.
I feel a bit like Derek D. from Fast Lane Daily when I
tell you a fan sent me this shirt.
Seems the right thing to wear for this F1 show.
Alexander Walker has a website, strassenversion.net.
And he sells the art and stuffy designs, has a blog
going on, and deserves your time to take a visit.
The link will be in the description.
So there you go.
Now, Canali and Zegna, if you're watching, my suit
closet needs a new roommate, maybe a gray or a soft brown.
My size?
Euro 48 short.
OK, two races into the 2012 F1 season, and all we know is
that the next weeks before the April 15 China GP are going to
be flat-out hard work for every team, because no one's
yet shown they deserve the championship.
Both 2012 races still may not be giving us a true clue as to
what's up right now.
The Malaysia rain was really deceiving.
Just ask Alonso, or Kimi Raikkonen, who nailed it with
his quote, "It would be nice to just have a normal weekend
and just see where we all are.
Right now, nobody really knows where anybody is."
We know where Red Bull isn't--
dominating.
Red Bull's fast magic is over.
And [INAUDIBLE] guessed what's not working.
I feel our Vettel interview from a year ago gave us the
root of what's missing.
Here's what Seb said about the need for confidence in the car
to go fast.
SEBASTIAN VETTEL: Basically, you need to feel comfortable.
And I think when you feel confident and comfortable, it
gives you the trust that you need to go fast and the
inspiration if you want to say [INAUDIBLE]
try new things and push yourself to the
limit more and more.
LEO PARENTE: It's not that the Red Bull RB8 looks nervous.
It's just about dialed in yet.
The tires aren't working with the car, Newey's making
last-minute setup changes, and Vettel is depending on
strategy, not speed, for right now.
Red Bull's strength is adaptability.
China will be a real indicator for them.
McLaren--
they have the car.
Team strategy calls, pit stops, and driver moves were
their Malaysia undoing.
Was Button right to change tires first?
McLaren pit stops were three and five seconds slower versus
Alonso, giving the Ferrari the track position jump ahead on
both the silver and red Vodafone cars.
And Hamilton, he drives tough on those sensitive Pirellis,
using them up.
Button admitted it was his mistake with his hit with
[INAUDIBLE].
But McLaren is in the game, and in my opinion, they gave
away Malaysia.
Mercedes is all Ross Brawn tricked out and has the
paddock-chasing Charlie Whiting for legality rulings.
Is the rear-wing W duct legal?
Is it helping the front or the rear wings?
Hell, I say both.
But while the Mercedes shows speed, the package of car,
driver, strategy, and
execution are not yet complete.
The car chews up with rear tires, so they give
inconsistent pace when the Mercedes is running what
appears to be a very compliant rear suspension to compensate.
We've all learned that most modern race cars use a very
stiff front setting to control roll and a softer rear to
maintain traction.
But any extreme is a Bandaid.
And at Malaysia, Mike and Nico look to be at the
outer edges of normal.
And the TV broadcast, they even thought they were lifting
the inside front tire.
They race a Mercedes, right?
Not this old BMW.
Whatever.
Schumi has it right.
It's too soon to talk about winning.
First, Mercedes AMG F1 must become the third-best team,
then move from there.
Lotus--
they're fast, and Kimi's helping, but not as a
top-three car or team yet.
Lotus is biting on the edge of success but hasn't got it
fully done.
And like Alonso for Ferrari, Kimi will drag Lotus up to the
podiums and placings that it may not fully deserve.
Sauber continues to be easy on tires.
And that's a good thing in this Pirelli
generation of Formula 1.
Perez and Kobayashi are racers, and that doesn't hurt
the cause, either.
They are the worst nightmare for teams like Force India,
Williams, and Caterham, who all want to claim truth to
their big step forward statements that they're making
for 2012, but can't as long as Sauber is doing the deal.
And look closely at the Sauber nose.
See that slot venting air from beneath up to the top to
smooth airflow?
That ain't Tier 2 team stuff.
They're really getting their act together.
Mercedes and Ferrari should be watching for these guys.
Sauber may be taking their place.
So shall we talk Ferrari?
How the hell did Fernando get P2 practice times out of that
thing, with a car that really can't get into Q3 qualifying
without him?
Still, the Ferrari team was mega-fast on the pit stops.
They have some trick front tire jack for pit stops that
swivels to get the guy out of the way for even faster stops.
Ferrari's strategy seems good.
But the car is that bitch bastard I opened the show with
and needs to be dumped.
Even more than Red Bull, everyone's going to be
watching what Ferrari does for China.
Rumor is that the chassis will be brand new and exercising
that pull-rod front suspension from the car.
But is that the only issue?
I've read everything from no low-speed downforce, breaking
instability, no high-speed rear downforce, no balance.
Hell, the red paint is probably chipping, too.
It's a real mess.
I said mess, not Massa.
OK, what's left?
Bruno Senna, Williams, and their Renault power are making
moves to get into the points.
And I don't understand all the Caterham love from you guys.
The team is not any better for 2012.
And the rest is just the rest, until someone starts to shine.
A few shows back, the March 5 Shakedown, I gamely put forth
my 2012 F1 predictions for race wins.
I said nine for Red Bull, five for McLaren, three for
Mercedes AMG, and two for Lotus, one for Ferrari.
It may be too early to adjust based on these first two
races, but my numbers are looking kind of lame.
I want to know what you're thinking.
And today, we talk more about teams than drivers, which
reminds me of what Doctor Ullrich, head of Audi Sport,
said in our Sebring interview about picking drivers.
Think about his words when you look at the race results and
compare lap times.
Because while even Massa got within 3/10 of the second on a
lap of Alonso, something else, other qualities other than
speed, factor into what makes a driver a racer.
Listen to Dr. Ullrich.
DR. WOLFGANG ULLRICH: Besides their skills and what you can
rate with numbers--
because that's something we do for sure if we do a driver
selection--
at the end, you always end up with two or three guys on a
nearly identical level.
And in most of the cases, if it is not an identical result,
stomach decides.
LEO PARENTE: And then we have the annual F1 rules fights and
controversies.
And new Shakedown fan favorite Ulrich Baretzki, head of Audi
engine development, has his thoughts when he answered my
question about, if you have the chance to set the rules
for racing, what would you do?
ULRICH BARETZKI: I always have the word, it's much easier to
break rules than to create them the same.
And the reason is simple--
because in a moment we are sitting and making rules,
which we have done several times with colleagues, then
you are always in mind to close every loophole.
What are the possibilities that would allow you to make
it otherwise than I intend the rules should guide you?
And this makes it so complicated.
And I said the best thing is to make a law book, would be
to bring all the criminals together.
And they should say how they should be written, because
they know it best how to break it.
Then they should know it best how to avoid that laws are
broken, or what should be done to prevent them from doing it.
LEO PARENTE: Ah, Mr. Baretzki, in F1, we already have the
criminals running the roost.
And I'm not talking all new Concorde Agreement
rabble-rousing from Bernie.
You could Google that topic on your own without me.
And I'm not going after the "Sauber tells Perez not to
pass Ferrari" controversy, because to me, Sergio's a
racer, and he really wanted P1.
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