I remember when we're at the hospital very clearly.
We waited there for a while, and then my dad came out and he is like, "Your brother's here."
I got to see him from the glass.
I remember seeing other kids that were Tor's age,
and they were crawling and walking,
and I was like, so when is Tor going to start walking and talking?
They were like, probably he won't be able to walk and talk.
I must have been at around four or five years old when I realized
that things were a little different.
My name is Stefane Alexis. 24 years old.
This is a team effort. There we go, it tickles. [laughter]
I'm a young caregiver. I take care of my
younger sibling Torence. He's 21 years old and he has cerebral palsy.
He's not verbal. He doesn't really have any balance. He's completely dependent.
It's not an easy job.
He needs you for everything,
so you have to be taking care of him 24/7.
I think Tor sees the world simpler than
than we see it.
So, I feel like he appreciates the things that we take for granted.
We think he sees the world as lights and shapes.
Okay buddy.
A year ago, when Tor turned 21
he graduated from high school,
and all the services stopped.
So, when that happened we didn't have any support during the day.
You're doing well.
And all the work kind of fell my dad.
He should be hungry though.
So that's when I was like, okay I have to help.
Mom's working full-time has her hands full
taking care of the house too.
So, I'm here.
Even though I wasn't like feeling great,
you make sacrifices for your family.
When people think about a caregiver, they generally think about a female.
It's a very easy assumption to make in a very easy picture to paint.
Watching my dad taking care of Tor
has impacted me in a pretty significant way,
because he shown me the other side of masculinity.
He teaches me how you're supposed to be
attentive to certain things
and how you're supposed to take care of your family.
So, I'm picking up peseta sauce, pepperoni, spinach, eggs.
I'll be back.
When you're taking care of a family member
the house revolves around that family member,
so you kinda have to coordinate who's going to stay
and who's gonna go out
because everything — it's like an orchestra.
So you have to get everything in a certain balance.
There's so many little intricate details that go, not into like just everyday life,
but into a life where you're taking care of someone else.
We love Tor to death.
We love him unconditionally.
We would do anything for him of course,
but any kind of long continuous strain
has an impact on you mentally.
My friends are aiming towards their career
and they're chasing their dreams and all that.
Having to put my goals and aspirations on the back burner
can be really frustrating.
I can't do this forever,
and it's a tough, it's a tough place to be in,
because what do I -- like how do I choose?
What will happen if I'm not there
to kind of relieve the pressure?
Everyone's getting older and the needs are going up,
and it's kind of breaking the balance.
He just had a really bad seizure.
If I can't be here physically to help I need to find another way to help.
It's easy ignoring these people because there's no voice.
Because the people that have the voice are too tired to raise their voices.
They're already exhausted from the day-to-day and they don't have the
energy to go out and protest.
and try and fight the government and lobby
and do all this crazy stuff because the day-to-day will never really stops.
You don't have the energy because you're just trying to make it day to day.