(lively music)
- Hello.
Welcome, I'm Tess, the Intimacy OT.
And today I'm going to be sharing with you six positions,
sex positions, that are really enjoyable
even if you're someone who experiences joint pain.
Who am I?
I'm a occupational therapist
and I work in sexuality and intimacy for people diagnosed
with cancer, living with chronic illness and disability.
So please, click on that Subscribe button
and feel free to ask me any questions
in the comments below.
So I'm gonna start with a few tips.
Regarding joint pain,
it's not only for people who have cancer treatments.
It could be arthritis,
it could be many, many, many things.
Pain is a fickle, fickle and sometimes always present thing.
So a really wonderful thing to do is to keep a pain diary.
Track your pain.
When in the day do you have less pain?
When is it more?
Are there activities that hurt
or increase your pain?
When do your pain meds kick in?
When are you feeling up for the fun stuff in life?
And find those patterns
and that's when you wanna get intimate.
Don't worry about things like food shopping.
Just get it delivered.
Have sex instead.
Also be warm.
So when our muscles contract when we're cold,
which is a mechanism that our body does
when we just want to increase our body temperature
because we're feeling a bit cold,
the muscles get tense
and that can aggravate our pain.
So we want to be warm and relaxed.
So if you have a bath, have a bath,
soothe those muscles and then get intimate.
It can make a world of difference.
If you don't have a bath,
pop your electric blanket on,
get a hot water bottle.
Anything that makes you warm
and snugly and your muscles relaxed.
Another tip is cushions.
Cushions, cushions, cushions.
OTs loves cushions.
Support your joints.
The more supported you are
and the less movement those sore joints may do,
that actually might help relieve pressure and pain.
I'm sorry, exercise.
Exercise is so good for joint pain
'cause it circulates the blood.
So I'm just talking about walking.
Just slightly fast-paced walking.
So you're just (Tess puffing), so just puffing.
It circulates the blood and blood is everything.
It can be a really amazing antiinflammatory
and pain reliever.
Also to talk to your partner.
Just say things like "look,
I'm really worried that I've got lower back pain
at the moment.
My knees or hips are sore.
Is there a way that we can brainstorm some positions?
beause I really wanna connect with you
but I'm a little bit worried
about causing more discomfort or pain".
So those are my tips.
Let's get into the positions.
So the first position is the standard 'missionary'.
We all know this golden oldie.
The person on the bottom is the person
that does the minimal amount of work
and the person on top is,
they need to have the upper body strength
to hold themselves up.
Now, if you pop a cushion underneath the person
on the bottom's hips,
it supports the lower back
and it also raises the pelvis
for easier access to the genitals or anus
for the person on top.
Now, an adaptation of this,
position number two
is similar to the missionary but if the person on the top
has difficulties holding themselves up,
say maybe they have shoulder or elbow and upper arm pain,
or even knee pain,
what you can do is you can move to the edge
of the bed so that the person is standing.
That reduces the weight load on their arms
so they can have straight legs
and you can still access the person
on the bottom's beautiful, beautiful, delicious pelvic area
and they are also able to lie back.
And again, you can also pop a cushion
under the lower back.
The third position is 'the spoon'.
Now, this is a beautiful, intimate,
wonderful position with lots and lots
of body contact and a hot tip
is if you pop a cushion between the knees of either person,
it actually separates them
and it can be a really wonderful relief
for hip pain and also for knee joint pain
because it puts those joints
in a more neutral, supported position.
From behind, again the person can prop themselves up
onto a whole bunch of pillows
so they don't actually have to hold themselves up,
using their upper body strength.
And it can also support the lower back.
I have actually found this technique incredibly helpful
when I was recovering from several cancer surgeries.
So this is a really handy trick,
speaking from someone who's been there, done that.
The fifth position is the 'seated' position.
Now, this is wonderful.
Again maybe the person on the bottom wants
to have a little less weight bearing.
Maybe they are having difficulties moving.
So propping yourself up against a bed head
can be a really relieving experience
and this does mean that the person on the top does most
of the work.
Also, it works on a couch.
So perhaps you have more back support on a coach.
You can pop some cushions underneath you.
Maybe the height's better for the person on top.
The sixth position is 'standing oral'.
So if a person has joint pain
and they want to receive oral,
sometimes lying back and popping your knees up
or even just lying down can not be comfortable
for the person receiving.
So if you stand in the corner of a room,
those two corners are actually the thing
that can help support you.
So you don't have to use muscle strength
to hold yourself up.
You're kinda just leaning back. Pop a cushion
on the floor because we all care about each other,
for the person giving
and you can slightly separate your legs
and have a really beautiful oral sex experience.
So they're my six positions
and some tricks and tips to help with joint pain.
Remember, warm, relaxed muscles
and joints and a bit of blood flow.
That can be really, really relieving
and I highly recommend.
And so thank you for being here.
Please click on that Subscribe button.
I'll see you on the next.
Bye.