Like I said as a man you don't realize how broke you are
until you add a woman to your life,
because on your own you don't-- you're on the struggle bus.
It ain't looking good.
Because ladies, think about how your man lived when
you first came into his life.
He ain't had no extra nothing.
He had one towel, one plate, one bowl, one spoon.
Like, hey, whenever you done eating your rice,
can I borrow your plate?
Because I don't want to eat all my rice out my hand.
See at your house eating rice like sunflower seeds--
whenever you done.
This jasmine?
This is so good.
A single man?
We don't have no-- like, our house
be look-- like, every single man house look the exact same.
We got that little starter kit furniture,
the fake black leather.
You know what I'm talking about?
You be scared to sit on the couch with your keys,
because if you--
if you sit on the couch, you gonna rip it in half.
You like, oh, man. I'm sorry.
Ah.
You got some tape?
I'm gonna put your couch back together.
I should have took my keys out. I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I shouldn't have did that.
We ain't got no entertainment center.
We just got a center.
Flat screen supposed to be on the wall,
hanging out, having a good time.
No, the flat screen on the floor like a homeless man, like--
how you doing, brother?
You want to Netflix and chill?
You sure?
I know the password next door, if you want to hang out.
All right, bless you, brother.
All right, cool.
This-- you ran out of soap, too, if you need it.
I'm like, what is going on?
Freaking weird.
Every single man house look the exact same.
We got that same little cheap touch lamp in the corner.
You know what I'm talking about?
Not the good one from Target-- the one from Target,
it got confidence to it.
It's Sturdy.
It got some posture behind it.
We get the cheap one from Big Lots, the one
that got the little lean to it.
Ladies, you be scared to touch it because you don't
know what's going to happen.
The lamp got the smooth criminal lean.
Like, your lamp need some calcium.
I don't know what's going on right now.
Also too, fellas, if you broke, stay away from the ATM machine.
The ATM machine will tell yo' business in front of everybody.
Because working in the industry, you've
got a special kind of broke.
You ever had that kind of broke where
you ain't necessarily broke, you just ain't got it on you?
Like, you did the job, but you waiting on the check.
Like, hello?
Just me?
Just LA?
Just me?
Well, you got to call the office every day like, hey, uh,
y'all collect the checks yet?
OK, call back at noon?
Well, I'm off.
I could just stay on hold.
I could-- I'm good.
I ain't got nothing going on.
I'm good.
For real, because the ATM machine
will tell your business.
My girls was like, oh, we should go to the Cheesecake Factory.
I was like--
[coughs] give me a second.
Hold on.
Boop, boop, boop.
Boop.
$17?
Ah.
Woo!
OK, they gonna make me take a whole $20 out.
I don't know when they started doing that.
Wow.
A solid $20!
I don't know when they started, man.
Must be some new policy they got.
It's a full $20!
OK, ain't no decimals in that.
OK, no fives or tens or nothing, eh?
Ain't no decimal?
OK, fast cash. Let's see.
Boop!
OK.
Woo! $20, $40, $60.
That ain't it.
All right, let's see.
Savings.
Negative $200. Woo!
All right.
Um-- and the broker you are, the ATM start telling your business
in front of everybody.
You like, broke, broke, broke.
Broke, broke.
Struggle.
Broke, broke, broke.
Nigga.
Broke, broke, broke.
Broke. Ain't got it.
Ain't got it.
Trump.
Broke nigga.
Broke, broke, broke, broke.
And the broker you are, the more you
read everything on the screen.
You ever notice that?
You try to buy time.
You like, all right.
Deposit from four to seven.
[incoherent mumbling] Struggle?
[incoherent mumbling]
I was reading so long, I got comfortable.
All right.
Deposit from four to seven.
[incoherent mumbling] Refinance my rent.
[incoherent mumbling]
It was terrible.
Then I felt bad, because I get out with no cash,
no receipt, nothing.
I had to explain myself.
Man, this machine be tripping, man.
They gonna make you take a whole $20 out.
I don't know when they started doing that.
There was an old black man behind me with a dead eye.
He was like, the power of the Black Panther
has been stripped away.
I was like, ah!
Ah!
Friggin terrible!
I ran back to the car.
I'm stressed out.
My girl's like, hey, you still ready to go to Cheesecake?
I'm like, you want to go feed the ducks?
We should go feed the ducks.