- When you love someone,
you want to offer him or her something,
something beautiful,
something
that you are sure
he will like
or she will like.
What is the best thing you can offer him or her,
when we love him or her so much?
That is my question.
Maybe you think that you can go to the supermarket
and buy something.
But, that might not be the best thing you can offer him or her.
We should think a little bit more about that.
What is the most precious thing
that you can offer him or her,
the person you love so much?
I know a young man of eleven.
He's not happy.
His father is very rich.
His father is a businessman,
having a lot of money.
And yet,
everything that his father gave him
did not make him happy.
His father is extremely rich
and he could afford to buy anything
for his son.
But the young man
did not seem to need anything at all.
He was unhappy
because his father is so busy.
When you are a business man like that,
you do not have the time
for yourself,
for your wife,
for your children.
And that is why the young man was unhappy.
His father
did not have the time for him or his mother.
That is why that morning the father
the gentleman ask him
"My son
tomorrow will be your birthday
describe
What do you want?
I will buy it for you."
But the young man did not know what to answer,
because he did not need anything.
Even electric train,
or a scooter
motor bike
But after,
some reflection he found out the answer.
"Daddy,
its you that I want.
Because his father
is so busy, is caught up with his business
he thinks too much about stock markets
and things like that.
And he could not have enough time for himself
or his wife and his son.
"Daddy there's you that I want.
I want your presence."
Well he has, he had a father
he has a father but he does not feel that he has a father,
because his father is not available to him.
So if his father has gone and practiced mindfulness,
he would know what to do.
He would go back to his breathing,
and breathing in mindfully
breathing out mindfully
bringing his mind home to his body,
and become fully present.
And then his father would look into the eyes of his son,
and say, "Darling, my son,
I'm here for you."
And that is the best kind of gift,
the best kind of present
that you can make to your beloved one.
So according to this practice,
the best present you can make to your beloved one,
is your true presence.
You have to be there.
I like to ask you a question.
"How can you love if you are not there?"
To love means to be there.
And the practice of mindfulness
can help you to be truly there.
in the here and the now for your beloved one.
And its not difficult.
You need only to breathe in mindfully,
and bring your mind home to your body,
and stop all your thinking.
And suddenly, you are there,
mind and body together.
And you have something very precious,
to offer him or her.
And that is why the first mantra
that we practice in Plum village
is
"Darling I am here for you."
And you do not have to practice it in Sanskrit
or Tibetan.
You can practice it in English.
"Darling,
I am here for you."
But in order to be there
you have to practice.
You have to stop your thinking about the past,
or the future.
You have to stop your projects,
your worries, your anger.
You have to ride on your in breath
to home to yourself.
And that may take only three or four seconds
for you to stop
your thinking
and bring your mind home to your body,
and become fully present.
And you can go to him or to her
And look into his eyes, or her eyes
and pronounce the first mantra.
"Darling
I'm here for you."
Because you are truly there that is why
the mantra is real.
If you are not there, the mantra will not work.
But if you are truly there
mind and body together
I assure you that the mantra will work.
And that will make the other person happy.
And the most wonderful thing is that
even if that person is not physically in front of you,
you can still practice.
You can use your mobile telephone.
(audience laughter)
And breathing in and out mindfully,
you compose the number.
And when you hear his voice,
you practice the mantra,
"Darling."
"Daddy"
I know you are there.
I am here for you.
I am truly here for you."
Or Mommy, or anyone that you love.
And the first mantra is:
"Darling I am here for you."
And we should all memorize that mantra.
in order to practice.
If you are a lover,
if you truly love someone,
you have to be there for him or for her.
And that is not too difficult.
That is meditation.
That's not difficult.
It does not take time.
It does not take money.
We need only one thing: mindfulness.
Because mindfulness help you
to be there,
fully alive
fully present.
And with that true presence we can offer
to our beloved one.