WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HEY, YOU GUYS-- YOU GUYS KNOW
ELECTIONS?
WE STILL HAVE THOSE.
AND IN FACT, WE HAD SOME YESTERDAY AROUND THE COUNTRY,
AROUND THE COUNTRY.
THE BIG BATTLE WAS OVER OHIO'S 12th DISTRICT, PITTING
REPUBLICAN TROY BALDERSON AGAINST DEMOCRAT DANNY O'CONNOR
IN WHAT MANY ARE CALLING, "THE SLUGFEST IN THE MIDWEST," "THE
GREAT DEBATE NEAR OHIO STATE," "THE RUMPUS NEAR COLUMP-US."
( LAUGHTER ) THE 12th HAS SENT A REPUBLICAN
TO CONGRESS FOR THE LAST 35 YEARS, AND IN 2016, IT WENT FOR
TRUMP BY 11 POINTS.
SO IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A BLOWOUT, BUT THE RACE STILL
HASN'T BEEN CALLED.
IN FACT, IF THE VOTE DIFFERENCE TIGHTENS FURTHER, IT COULD
TRIGGER AN AUTOMATIC RECOUNT UNDER OHIO ELECTION LAW.
AND UNDER OHIO ELECTION LAW, WHOEVER LOSES THE RECOUNT HAS TO
GO TO THE LAKERS.
( LAUGHTER ) IT WAS ALSO-- YEAH.
BA-BA-BOO!
IT WAS ALSO AN HISTORIC NIGHT BECAUSE 11 WOMEN BECAME
-- IT'S A RECORD-- 11 WOMEN ARE NOW GUBERNATORIAL NOMINEES.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AND IN KANSAS, A DEMOCRATIC
NOMINATION FOR CONGRESS WENT TO SHARICE DAVIDS, A NATIVE
AMERICAN, OPENLY GAY ATTORNEY, AND A FIRST-TIME CANDIDATE.
THE ONLY WAY--
THERE YOU GO.
LISTEN TO THAT.
PROOF IS IN THE PUDDING RIGHT THERE.
THE ONLY WAY DAVIDS COULD BE MORE OF A LIBERAL DREAM IS IF
SHE WAS A BUNDLE OF RECYCLED STRAWS.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT MY FAVORITE ELECTION VICTORY
YESTERDAY WAS IN KANSAS' 4th DISTRICT WHERE REPUBLICAN
REPRESENTATIVE RON ESTES WON HIS RACE AGAINST A DIFFERENT RON
ESTES.
( LAUGHTER ) YEAH.
IT WAS A HUGE WIN FOR RON ESTES, AND A MAJOR UPSET FOR RON ESTES.
( LAUGHTER ) THE ESTES FAMILIES ARE THRILLED
AND SAD TONIGHT.
RON ESTES GAVE A MOVING CONCESSION SPEECH SAYING, "I
WOULD LIKE TO CONGRATULATE MY OPPONENT, RON ESTES.
HIS NAME IS MY NAME, TOO.
WHENEVER WE GO OUT, THE PEOPLE ALWAYS SHOUT, "THERE GOES RON
ESTES!" DAH-DAH-DAH-DAH.
♪ ♪ ♪
OF COURSE, TRUMP IS STILL ON VACATION AT HIS COUNTRY CLUB IN
BEDMINSTER, NEW JERSEY, BUT HE HASN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE
MUELLER INVESTIGATION.
BECAUSE ON SUNDAY, THE PRESIDENT PLAYED GOLF WITH REPUBLICAN
SENATOR AND MAN WHO JUST CAN'T GET THAT PIECE OF POPCORN OUT,
LINDSEY GRAHAM.
ACCORDING TO LINDSEY, DURING THE OUTING, TRUMP BROUGHT UP ENDING
THE RUSSIA PROBE ABOUT 20 TIMES.
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY: TRYING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER
AGAIN AND EXPECTING A DIFFERENT RESULT IS THE DEFINITION OF "A
VERY STABLE GENIUS."
( LAUGHTER ) AND THAT'S NOT EVEN COUNTING ALL
THE VOICEMAILS HE LEFT: