Hi everyone my name is Apurupa,
I'm a sexuality educator and today I'm going
to talk to you about what are some things
that you need to keep in mind
before the first time you have sex.
It's a very simple formula the five C's
comfort, conversation, condoms, consent and care
Let's talk about comfort.
Well sex should be comfortable,
it should be with someone
that you are comfortable with,
someone that makes you feel good about yourself.
There has to be space for some form
of discussion you know especially
if it's your first time or if it's
the first time for the both of you
it has to be in a manner that is and
a pace that is comfortable for you it has to be
in a location like whether
it's the bedroom or whether it's a hotel or
whether it's somewhere else it has to be in
a place that is comfortable for you as well
and remember that it's not just like before
it's also during and after it has to be an act
that prioritizes your comfort and the
comfort of your partner at all times.
Second C is conversation. Conversation
before you engage with each other
as to what your expectations are
you know what are your concerns what are
you afraid of important to discuss all of that
conversation during the act as well you
know porn makes us feel like it's just
moans and oohs and aahs but people actually
talk to each other during the act they check in
with each other and make sure that you know
they're actually comfortable they're actually
feeling good if there is something else that
they would like if they would like to stop.
This type of conversation
needs to happen during the act as well and
lots and lots of conversation after the act too,
to check in with the person and to make
sure that it was a pleasurable act for them
if they wanted something else if there is some
other need that is coming up for them maybe
they want to be held or maybe they want
some space there has to be a lot of space for
conversation of this sort.
Another important component are condoms
they are the only form of protection that
can actually protect you from stis
and prevent unwanted pregnancies
now a lot of us may have a condom waiting
in our wallet for the first time we're
about to engage with someone but make
sure that you use a fresh one and store it in a
place where there is room and air
because the latex may actually erode over
time especially when you put
it in a tight leather wallet
make sure that you read the expiry date on the
condom because you don't want to end up
with a failed condom and also make sure
that you've practiced enough times as to how
to use it because you may actually be in the
heat of the moment you may be engaging
with another person you may not know
how to put it on and may skip it and that's not
something that we want to do
also make sure that you're not tearing
the condom with your teeth because it
can actually cause cuts and tears in the
condom, so don't forget to use a condom.
It is very important for you to both give
and take consent just because you might
be the woman or you might be the person
who's not initiating the act does not mean
that you don't need to take consent before
you're engaging with another person's body
you do need to ask them if they're okay
and comfortable with what you're doing
and you also need to do regular check-ins
throughout the act to ensure that consent
is being received and given at all points
also you're absolutely allowed to say
no at any point that you want even
right before you know some form of
penetration is about to take place maybe
the condom is on you're still allowed to
say no at that point and to change your
mind and your consent has to be respected
any form of sexual activity without
consent is not sex at all it is assault,
it is punishable and it is never your fault.
The good part about sex is it can
be anything you want for it to be
you can experiment with each other's
bodies and you can have a lot of fun
as long as you have the core principle of
caring for each other emotional safety is
extremely important when two people are or
multiple people are engaging with each other
being aware of you know the nuances in the
way a person's body language may change
or the way they are responding to you and
actually caring about whether or not they're
into you and whether or not they're present
in the moment is extremely important
so make sure that you memorise and know these 5 C's by heart
it will help both you and your partner a lot
Until next time stay tuned and stay Glamrs.