Reddit Relationship Advice - UPDATE
My son catches my wife cheating while on spring break.
Hey, it's been a few weeks since I posted my story in regards to my son catching my wife, cheating on me while he was on spring break.
A lot has happened since then.
I have been in contact with my wife and she is finally willing to sign a notarized statement regarding letting me have everything in the divorce.
I asked her, was she going to obtain a lawyer?
She said she wasn't, she didn't want to spend the money.
And, it didn't look good for her.
Anyway, the divorce is going to happen.
We are just waiting on the paperwork from my lawyer, and then we can sign the papers with a notary here in town.
This notarized statement will be included in the divorce paperwork.
Once that is done, we will move forward with the divorce proceedings. Through all of this.
My son has had a tough time since going back to school, I talk to him twice a week to see how he is holding up.
He said, it still traumatizes him to think about what he saw, but as I was talking to him, he said maybe he needed to talk to someone about it.
I said, If you want, do some research on some therapists in your area and I would pay for it.
I am really proud of him for being so strong in the face of everything.
I didn't know how he would handle it, but having a good therapist is essential to handling trauma like this and preventing future problems related to his own mental health issues.
One day, I decided to visit the local Sheriff's department.
Remember, my wife cheated on me with someone from the department.
My goal was to talk to the chief of police to see what would happen to a deputy for messing with a married woman.
As my wife said, he would lose his job.
If it was brought to the attention of his supervisor or boss, I walk into the building and head to the front desk.
The receptionist asked, how can I help you?
I said, yes.
I would like to speak to the chief of police.
If possible, my wife cheated on me with a deputy that works here.
He has not been fired yet.
But he should be for what he did to our family.
The woman behind the counter looked at me sympathetically while shaking her head slowly back and forth.
Like she felt sorry for me, or was just confused by why I would even come here today.
She said, do you have an appointment?
I tell her no, but it is something that needs to be taken care of.
As soon as possible.
She tells me the chief will not see someone without an appointment and I should call an advance.
Next time.
I then look at her and say, I would like an appointment.
The appointment was scheduled two days out, in between those two days.
I reach out to my wife.
To see if she would tell me who it was.
She was cheating on me with, she would NEVER give me his name.
So, as I wait for the meeting with the chief in the coming day, I was stumped at how I could find out who he was.
We didn't share any devices, so I couldn't try to get into her phone or any other electronics.
I finally decided to hire a private investigator.
I told the investigator about my situation and told him.
I am not investigating her per se.
I want to know who the guy is.
She is seeing, I tell him two things.
I told the investigator where the guy works and where my wife works.
I don't have her new address as of yet.
But, I do know where she works.
So, the investigator tells me the cost of the investigation.
I think to myself, it would be worth every penny.
If he could find out who this guy is, he says, okay, but before hanging up, he tells me there are some other things they need from me, like social media access.
I give all that he needs.
I then tell him her work address, but, I don't have her new address.
As of yet.
He said, don't worry about it.
He says, it will probably come out in your divorce if that's what you are planning to do.
I told him.
The divorce is in process. Today is the appointment to meet with the chief of police.
So I get to the station and the chief is waiting for me.
I'm led to his office and, and I start telling him what's going on.
It felt like I was at confession or something He asked me, do I know who the deputy is?
And do you have any proof of this deputy having a relationship with your wife?
I hesitated.
And said, all I have is an audio recording of my wife, having sex with a man in our home.
My son caught them, but he didn't want to turn on the video because it would have given him away while he was catching her.
He then says, we will need something a little more concrete.
At that point, I thought to myself, he is right.
I thanked him for his time, but before walking out the door, I told him.
That I will get the evidence.
I also asked him what would happen to the deputy.
If I am able to give him the evidence that he needs.
He said the deputy would be terminated.
As I walk out, I was trying to figure out, should I let the divorce linger?
While my investigator gets the evidence to show while we were MARRIED, he was messing with my wife.
As I leave the police station, I call my attorney and tell him that I hired a private investigator to find out who she is cheating on me with.
And, he asked me why? I tell him that I want the deputy fired.
And, I would have enough ammunition to make sure I am doing everything right.
If I want the divorce to go in my favor, he understood and asked me to keep him updated on the investigator's progress.
I call my son to see how he is doing.
And he says he is holding up.
I then explained to him that I hired a private investigator to find out who the guy is.
His mother is seeing.
He told me to be careful.
Because, we are going after a deputy and his job is at stake.
After I chat with my son, I get a call from the investigator and he tells me that he has one of his investigators at my wife's job and is kind of doing a stakeout to follow her.
When she leaves, told the investigator what kind of car she has.
So, as the day progresses, the investigator tells me my wife left work mid day and didn't go home.
She ended up going to a park.
He didn't tells me, that his investigator informs him that they are sitting there hand in hand and kissing each other.
Periodically.
His investigator collects that information takes pictures and videos, etc
He says, that my wife got up and left, but he wanted his investigator to stay behind, to see if he can find out what kind of car.
This guy was driving, but, he was smart.
He drove a government vehicle and it wasn't in plain sight.
I told the investigator, I wanted his guy to stake out her job again, to see if the guy shows up there.
He said, he would instruct him to do so.
The next day the investigator tells me.
That has got actually saw the same guy go to her job with some flowers.
He said this time he was able to see what kind of car he was driving and get his license plate number. A few days go by.
And the investigator calls me and says, can we meet so he can give me all the information his investigator has compiled.
I agree to meet with him.
And he gives me a folder worth of photos of my wife and this deputy, the investigator then tells me.
That he has been doing his job for a long time.
And this is the first time he's seen someone so brazen. After the meeting, I called the chief back and let him know that I have all
the evidence he will need, including the name of the deputy who my wife was cheating on.
me with. the chief says, come in tomorrow with what I have.
I go in.
Meet with the chief.
I pull out what I have and show him.
He drops his head and shakes it side to side.
While looking at the photos and video, he then asked me, how did I get this information?
I told him I hired a private investigator.
I told him, he could have that information.
I had already made copies of everything as I leave the police station.
I call my lawyer and tell him to go ahead and schedule a hearing.
So we can file the papers to get the divorce started.
Later that day, I get a call from my wife, screaming at me for getting her affair partner in trouble.
I told her, remember what I said to you.
When I found this all out, she says, no, I don't.
I told you that you will regret cheating on me.
Then she yells and says, I will not sign that so-called statement.
You want me to sign.
I then said to her, You know what?
I really don't care if you do or not.
I think I have everything for the divorce to go in my favor.
She yells other nonsense at me.
I tell her there's no need for us to talk anymore.
The divorce process is in motion and you will be hearing from my attorney.
All of a sudden, she tells me she will fight in the divorce.
now, I simply said, okay, I told her good luck.
You have me, your son.
And the lawyer who is against you, who has a ton of evidence for this divorce case.
She yells at me for a few more minutes.
Before I get off the phone, I then call my son and tell him that I have filed for divorce from his mother.
And he starts crying.
He says, dad, I am sorry for this.
I interrupted and said no need for you to apologize.
I am glad that you uncovered it.
Your mother would probably still be cheating on me in our home.
If it wasn't for you surprising her.
Thank you everyone for hearing me out, I will try to give another update as to how this unfolds.
This concludes this Reddit Relationship Advice video.