- We're talking about dating at different ages.
And our next question comes from Sarah.
Sarah, what's your question?
- Hi Drew, Hi Damona, I'm so excited to be here.
So basically, I was married for 15 years,
and I'm recently divorced, I'm a busy mom.
I was on the apps, but I got a lot
of young guys trying to date me, and I'm not a cougar.
It was a total turnoff for me.
I have lots of energy.
I love trying new things,
but dating just hasn't been a priority,
but I'm definitely ready now.
I know the big thing right now are dating apps,
but that's not really my thing.
My question is, even during this crazy time of the pandemic,
how can I meet someone without going online?
- Yeah, I'm gonna jump in,
because I think I know what Drew's going to say.
I wanna let you know that online dating is where it's at.
And 40% of people are meeting
their matches on dating apps right now.
So it's really the biggest party in town.
And I want you to be at the biggest and best party,
especially as a mom of two, I'm also a mom of two.
We're busy ladies, Sarah.
We don't have a lot of time to date.
You can't be out here
running the streets trying to find a man.
It's time efficient,
and you can really be searching
while you're in the privacy of your own home,
while your kids are asleep, line up those dates.
It's a great way to find a match.
And it's especially a great way
for a single mom to find love in today's world.
I would say your love lesson is to develop a growth mindset.
You might even talk to your kids about that.
Just it's something that's new.
You haven't gotten good at it yet.
And I really look at dating,
especially online dating, as a learned set of skills.
So just because it's foreign doesn't mean you can't do it.
You just say I'm not into online dating yet,
but stay open to the possibility
that you could find love there.
- And Damona, you said something
like there is a 40% success rate on online dating?
- Yeah, and I would bet even with the pandemic,
it's going to go up, Drew.
- Yeah, exactly.
You know, it just got a lot harder to meet people
out and about because of 2020 and the pandemic.
So maybe just try to have a different mindset.
I'm trying it on.
I talked to this woman last week, she's coming on the show.
She's divorced with two kids too,
and she's about to go on her first date.
And we had this like 45 minute long conversation
and I had two aha moments from it
I'm really excited to talk about on the show.
Try putting all of your baggage
on top of a car and sending that car off a cliff.
Get on that dating app, and just try anew.
- I'll do it. - All right.
- I'm looking forward. - Good.
- Thank you. - And I wish you
the best of luck, I really do.
- Thank you.
- Okay, our next question is from Chris, he's 30.
He's in his 30's, oh hi, Chris.
- Hi, how are you?
- Hi, okay, what's your dating question?
- Yeah, so first off, I'm a huge fan
of Drew and Damona, so yay.
So essentially, I've been practicing mindful dating.
I've been journaling.
I've been vision boarding, visualizing my future partner.
But essentially, how do I set up my profile
to attract women my age
that are looking to settle down, essentially?
- Hm, well first of all, thanks Chris.
I can tell if you are already listening
to the Date & Mates Podcasts, you know my advice.
You have all the pieces,
we just have to put them together in the right order.
So when I hear that question,
I think we either have a profile problem
or we have a pool problem.
If it's a profile problem, it means you're not putting out
what you think you're saying into the world.
So if you want something serious,
you need to present yourself in a serious way.
So get rid of any beach shots or shirtless bathroom selfies.
We want to look like you do right now,
like a partner would, right?
And then if it's a pool problem,
you might not be on the right app.
Some apps have a really low barrier for entry.
Like if it's free, if you can just pick a couple of pictures
and suddenly you're on the dating app,
and you see that there is a variety,
there are a whole range of reasons
that people are on the app, you might wanna try an app
that requires a little bit more effort,
that has a little bit more information.
So that you can really sort through
and filter your dates appropriately.
- I have to say, Damona, you are spot on.
And I'm, I think, older than you,
and obviously looking for someone my age or a little older,
but I am so turned off for any like seriousness
with all the beach shots and the,
how is everyone a photographer now?
And you're posing with someone else's kid and your dog.
It's literally, it is cookie cutter.
And it does send out a message of like this isn't serious.
I'm here to just date and be frivolous.
I think you're so right, Damona.
Tell a story through your pictures,
show through your pictures what you're looking for.
A visual says a lot.
- Absolutely.
- Awesome, yeah.
- Well, thank you, guys.
Damona, I love you.
And Chris and Sarah and Michelle, this was so much fun.
Thank you for doing us with this,
this with us today, I can't talk.
And we'd love to check in with you and see how it's going.
Thank you Damona.
(upbeat music)