>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, SAY HELLO, LOUIS CATO, SAY HELLO
TO THE LATE SHOW BAND. >> THANKERS, MAN.
>> Stephen: LOUIS, I LIKE THAT RED GUITAR.
>> THANKS. >> I GIBSON SCZ THE SAME GUITAR
THAT GARY CLARK, JR. PLAYS. >> I THINK.
SO. >> Stephen: IT IS BEAUTIFUL,
BEAUTIFUL GUITAR. >> THANKS, MAN.
>> Stephen: TONIGHT WE'VE GOT A COUPLE OF VERY FINE ACTORS.
ONE OF OUR DEAREST FRIENDS HERE AT THE LATE SHOW, JOHN LITHGOW
IS GOING TO BE OUR GUEST. (APPLAUSE)
AN A MAN, TONY WINNER, AMAZING ACTOR PLAYING WILLY LOMAN ON THE
REVIVAL OF DEATH OF A SALESMAN ON BROADWAY RIGHT NOW, WENDELL
PIERCE IS HERE. FOLKS,
IT SEEMS LIKE THERE'S ALWAYS NEWS ABOUT FORMER NEW YORK MAYOR
AND SCARECROW YOU MADE FROM STUFF YOU FOUND ON GRANDPA'S
NIGHTSTAND... RUDY GIULIANI.
RUDY WAS THE LEAKY FACE OF THE EX-PRESIDENT'S ATTEMPT TO
OVERTHROW THE 2020 ELECTION. AND NOW, ACCORDING TO TESTIMONY
TO THE JANUARY 6th COMMITTEE, WE'RE LEARNING HE WAS VISIBLY
DRUNK AND ERRATIC ON ELECTION NIGHT.
OF COURSE RUDY REFUTED THAT, TWEETING, "I AM DISGUSTED AND
OUTRAGED AT THE OUTRIGHT LIE. I REFUSED ALL ALCOHOL THAT
EVENING. MY FAVORITE DRINK...
DIET PEPSI." WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SOMEONE
WOULD SAY WHEN THEY ARE COMPLETELY HAMMERED.
AND, THANKS TO HIS WORK WITH THE FORMER PRESIDENT, RUDY'S NOW IN
A MESS OF LEGAL TROUBLE. THE JANUARY 6th COMMITTEE HAS
ISSUED SUBPOENAS SEEKING OTHER CONSPIRATORS' COMMUNICATIONS
WITH HIM, HE'S A TARGET OF THE CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION INTO
ELECTION INTERFERENCE IN GEORGIA, AND, LATER THIS MONTH,
LAWYERS IN WASHINGTON WILL HOLD A HEARING ON STRIPPING
RUDY GIULIANI OF HIS D.C. LAW LICENSE.
WHICH IS THE LEAST UPSETTING COMBINATION OF THE WORDS "RUDY
GIULIANI" AND "STRIPPING." EVEN WORSE FOR RUDY, THE HEAD OF
THAT HEARING TURNED DOWN HIS REQUEST TO TRUNCATE THE
PROCEEDINGS TO ALLOW HIM TO HOST HIS DAILY RADIO SHOW-- EVEN
THOUGH, ACCORDING TO RUDY'S TEAM, IT'S CURRENTLY HIS ONLY
SOURCE OF INCOME. BUT RUDY ISN'T LETTING HIS
FINANCIAL TROUBLES GET HIM DOWN. IN FACT, HE WAS RECENTLY SPOTTED
PARTYING IN A TIMES SQUARE BAR. I'M SO DISAPPOINTED.
WE'RE RIGHT HERE AT TIMES SQUARE.
I JUST WISH RUDY HAD CHECKED IN WITH ME WHILE HE WAS HERE--
AND I'M BEING TOLD HE'S HERE DOING THAT RIGHT NOW.
PLEASE WELCOME THE TO THE LATE SHOW,
EX-PRESIDENT'S EX-LAWYER, RUDY GIULIANI!
GOOD EVENING, MR. MAYOR. >> THAT'S AN OUTRIGHT LIE!
>> Stephen: WHAT IS? >> WHATEVER YOU SAID!
I DENY YOUR ALLEGATIONS THAT I'M PARTYING IN TIMES SQUARE WHILE
THE FEDS CLOSE IN! >> Stephen: I NEVER MADE THAT
ACCUSATION. BUT YOU ARE CLEARLY IN TIMES
SQUARE. >> OF COURSE I AM!
IT'S WHERE REAL NEW YORKERS GO TO EAT REAL NEW YORK BUBBA GUMP
SHRIMPS AND WATCH THE BALL DROP EVERY NIGHT ON "NEW YORK" EVE!
START SPREADING THE NEWS! >> Stephen: OH, SO I SEE YOU'RE
STILL DRINKING WINE. >> WHAT?
NO! OUTRIGHT LIE!
THIS IS JUST MY FAVORITE DRINK, DIET PEPSI!
TASTE THE RAINBOW! >> Stephen: OKAY, SO I HAVE TO
ASK ABOUT YOUR LEGAL TROUBLES. ASK ABOUT YOUR LEGAL TROUBLES.
YOU ARE A TARGET OF MULTIPLE INVESTIGATIONS INTO YOUR EFFORTS
TO OVERTURN THE 2020 ELECTION WITH WILD CONSPIRACY THEORIES.
>> THAT'S JUST WHAT "THEY" WANT YOU TO THINK.
IN FACT, I'M BEING PURSUED BY AN A.I. PROGRAM ON HUNTER BIDEN'S
LAPTOP THAT SECRETLY CONTROLS VOTING MACHINES TO ELECT
PRESIDENT LIZ CHENEY-- WHICH IS SHORT FOR "LIZARD PERSON"
CHENEY! >> Stephen: NO, IT'S NOT.
MR. MAYOR, MAKING THAT KIND OF EVIDENCE-FREE ALLEGATION IN
COURT IS THE REASON THAT, LATER THIS MONTH, YOU COULD QUITE
POSSIBLY LOSE YOUR LICENSE TO PRACTICE LAW.
>> OUTRIGHT LIE! OUT RIGHT LAW, NO, LAW, LIE, LIE
I DON'T "PRACTICE" LAW. NO REHEARSALS!
I JUST GET OUT THERE AND IMPROVISE.
I'M A JAZZ ATTORNEY. HIT IT, LOUIS!
(MUSIC) (SCATS)
S DOODLE-EE BOPPA-DOO-DOO STOLEN BALLOTS!
S BEEDLE-EE BOOP MARTIAL LAW! S
>> Stephen: THAT WAS ACTUALLY --
(APPLAUSE) I GOT TO SAY THAT WAS ACTUALLY
PRETTY GOOD. >> THEN DON'T FORGET TO TI,
SUSAN. I'M OUT HERE IN TIMES SQUARE
DROPPING SCAT FOR CASH! ALSO, SOMETIMES I SING JAZZ.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, MR. FORMER MAYOR, SPEAKING OF YOUR
FINANCES, IS IT TRUE THAT YOUR ONLY SOURCE OF INCOME IS NOW
YOUR RADIO SHOW? >> OUTRIGHT LIE!
BUT ALSO TRUE. THAT'S WHY I'M PROUD TO ANNOUNCE
THAT THIS INTERVIEW, LIKE MY RADIO SHOW, IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY
MAIL CHIMP. >> Stephen: YOU CAN'T SELL
AD SPACE ON MY SHOW! AND ANYWAY, WHY WOULD YOU BE
SPONSORED BY THE MARKETING PLATFORM MAILCHIMP?
>> OH, NO, NOT THAT MAIL CHIMP. I'M TALKING ABOUT A MALE CHIMP.
HIS NAME IS BEANS. HE'S A CHIMPANZEE AT THE BRONX
ZOO. GIVES ME 10% OF HIS BANANAS IN
EXCHANGE FOR LEGAL ADVICE. >> Stephen: I HAVE TO SAY, IT'S
HARD TO SEE THE MAN WHO WAS ONCE "AMERICA'S MAYOR" FALL SO HARD.
YOU'RE UNDER INVESTIGATION, SHILLING ON THE RADIO, AND
CLEARLY DRINKING HEAVILY. YOU DO NOT SEEM WELL.
>> OUTRIGHT LIE, SHARON! I'VE NEVER BEEN HEALTHIER!
I JUST HAD MY PHYSICAL, AND THEY SAID MY LIVER WAS TOO BIG
TO FAIL! >> Stephen: REALLY, REALLY--
SIR, I DON'T REALLY THINK THAT THAT IS--
>> IT'S TRUE! JUST ASK MY PERSONAL PHYSICIAN,
DR. PEPPER! >> Stephen: RUDY GIULIANI,
EVERYONE! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JOHN
LITHGOW!
♪ ♪