[piano prelude]
(boyfriend) Okay, I gotta go.
(boyfriend) I'll talk to you later, my cute heart princess!
(boyfriend) No, I love you!
(boyfriend) No, you're sexy!
God, I want you so bad.
Okay. Alright, bye.
Who the hell was that?!
-What? Oh, uh, that was Sarah. -Who is Sarah...
-and why do you want her so bad? -Calm down, baby! Come on!
It's not like that. She's just an old friend. Alright?
It's nothing. You're the only girl I want.
Well, okay.
I mean, I guess if she's an old friend then it's okay.
Yeah, she's visiting soon. Can't wait for you to meet her.
She's great.
(boyfriend) Remember, oh my god, remember how we just used to run
around naked when we were little kids?
(lady friend) Oh my gosh, that was so bad!
(boyfriend) I don't understand why we don't do that right now.
(lady friend) I don't know either!
(lady friend) I feel like I could just rip my clothes off.
(boyfriend) I have missed you so much.
-(lady friend) Oh! I just, mmm. -(boyfriend) Uh! Mwah.
(lady friend) This would just be--ugh! Clothes, they are just such a barrier
-between friendship! -(boyfriend) Mmmm.
(lady friend) I just miss this!
(girlfriend) Hem-hem!
Oh, honey! I didn't know you were home.
Yeah, clearly!
Oh, no. Oh, no! No, no. No, no, no, no, no.
This is--this is Sarah.
-It is so nice to finally meet you. -Who the hell is Sarah?!
Sarah's my old friend, remember?
Oh! Oh, right. Your old friend.
So that hug was just you guys--
It was just--we just haven't seen each other for a really long time.
-It was nothing. -Yeah, we're just old friends.
Mmm-hmm. Anyway, I just stopped by for a real quick second
to say hello to Chester here. I just haven't seen him in so long
and I just couldn't help myself, but I actually have
to go see my parents right now, but I will see you guys later for dinner, right?
-Yes. 6:00, okay? -Oh, wonderful.
-It was so nice to meet you. -Yeah, you too.
And I will see you later! (chuckling)
Oh!
What?! We're old friends!
(laughter)
Now, I have to say, Sarah, I had my reservations
about you but it's been real great getting to know you.
Likewise. Thank you so much for making this amazing meal.
Oh well, of course!
And Chester, you really lucked out here. I mean, who would've thought, right?
(laughter) Should I grab us some more wine?
-Hells yeah, girlfriend! -Be right back.
(chuckling) Hmmm.
-Okay, what the HELL?! -Oh my god!
- I know what this must look like. -Get out of my house, you WHORE!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, honey! What are you--?!
No, we're just friends, okay? We kiss all the time,
-just like siblings would. -WHAT?! That makes no sense!
I know! It's odd! It's odd!
It's weird but that's just how our friendship is.
I mean, that's just how it's always been! I love you. You know that!
Okay? Hey...okay?
(sighs) Okay. Okay. Yeah, I get it. You're close.
Great. By the way, Sarah's spending the night.
(moaning and groaning)
-(Sarah) Such good friends... -(boyfriend groans)
(Sarah and boyfriend groans)
(boyfriend) Oh god, you're such a good friend.
-(Sarah) Oh, Mr. Snaky-poo! -(boyfriend moans)
-Oh, come on! -What?! We are OLD FRIENDS!