Riley: Stay in milk!
Jory: Eat your drugs!
Jon: And don't try this at... Wait- what did you guys say?!
Hello, and welcome to "Is It a Good Idea to Microwave This?" I'm your host, Jory Caron.
Jory: Today, we're gonna be microwaving this cup filled with gasoline that I did not label. So, someone could easily confuse it for water.
Riley: Oh, some water!
*Riley groans and then shakes his lips*
Riley: Thanks!
*theme song plays*
Jory: It smells like victory!
Jory: All hands to the deck!
Jory: Nobody likes roasted nuts!
Jory and Jon: WHOA!
Jory: You got that on camera, right?
Riley: I don't trust this bitch!
Jon: Are you out of your mind?!
Jory: The masks- they do nothing!
Riley: You TOTALLY could have died!
Riley: The tin foil shield- it actually worked!
Jory: Stopping, stopping!
Riley and Playlist Live crowd: 3.5!
Jon: YEAH!
Jory: Is it a good idea to microwave this?
Jory: Let's find out! Here at the Jory Caron Microwave Laboratory, safety? We didn't even think of it!
Jory: And that's why... No?
Jory: We're microwaving this cup of gas, but what is a cup of gas without some tin foil to spark it? Ah!
Riley: Oh, my God!
Riley: That's why we have this giant fire extinguisher, which was made in Mexico. Because everything made in Mexico...
Jory: (in Vince voice) You know it works REAL good!
*Jon and Riley chuckle*
Jon: Gabrielle just died...
Jory: Aw, whatever!
Jon: ...but why is this new one look old?
Riley: Because it IS old. 'Cause we're gonna resurrect it!
Jory: It IS old. We know it's probably gonna die from gas. (in Boston accent) 'Cause we're smart people!
Jory: And that's why we're putting it back into Rapunzel!
Jon and Riley: Rapunzel!
Jon: Out of retirement for one episode only!
Jory: (to Riley) Don't smash it, or it might tip over, and then we're all f-...!
Jory and Riley: How long should we put it in there for?
Jon: 4 minutes and 80 seconds.
Riley: Oh, that's the price of gas these days!
Jon: Yeah, I know!
Jory: (in raspy voice) Let's do it!
Jon: Let's do this!
*futuristic whooshing sound*
*Jory starts Rapunzel*
Riley: I'D run!
*Ryan laughs*
Riley: Oh, NOW you wanna run, Jory?
Jon: Get ready with that fire extinguisher. We might have to run in there quick.
Ryan: Whoa! Come on...
Jory: It just has to get that right gas mixture. (in Boston accent) That's a lotta sparkin'.
Riley: But no BOOMIN'!
Jon: It seems like something's burning, but I think it's just, like, the vapor in the microwave.
Jory: Well, the worst part is we've basically vaporized gas and filled up the entire outside with vaporized gas!
Jon: Is that good for you? I forget.
Riley: Ryan, wanna cigarette?
*Ryan laughs*
Riley: Nope!
Ryan: I would have thought the vapors inside the microwave would have already set it off.
Jon: (in exaggerated Boston accent) I mean, it's no worse than, like, takin' a big fart. Am I right?
Jory: No! (laughs)
Ryan: No, I think it's significantly worse...
Jon: Alright!
Jory: Yeah, if every time you take a fart THAT much gas poured out of your butt, you need to seek a doctor NOW!
Jon: How much...? How much did you fill it up?
Jory: Uh, it's about halfway filled.
Jon: If it DOES spark, it's just gonna ignite, and then we'll ALL die. Or, at least, Rapunzel will die.
Riley and Ryan: WHOA!
Ryan: THERE it is!
Jon: Actually, she's still tickin'. Let's actually... It's good that it went off, 'cause that's most of the vapor is now burned.
Ryan: Yeah, I think that was the vapor. It wasn't the cup.
Jory: Yeah, but there's still gas in there.
Ryan: Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Ryan: OH!
Riley: WHOA!
Jon: NICE!
Jory: It'll keep doing this...
Riley: Until all of it's gone?
Jory: Yeah.
Jon: I think we should just call it now, dude.
Riley: Let's wait for one more.
Jory: I just don't want to get out there and have it do THAT!
*Riley and Ryan laugh*
Jon: We don't need to do another two minutes of this if it's just gonna keep goin' flare, stop. Flare, stop.
Riley: Whoa!
Jory: But that's really exciting every time!
Ryan: Yeah!
Jory: It's like an internal combustion in there. It's weird- the door hasn't opened. If the door had opened, that would have been a fireball launching right at us!
Ryan: Yeah!
Jon: Really, it would have.
Riley: Whoa!
Ryan: Whoa!
Riley: Ooh!
Jon: Alright, let's stop it at one minute then, guys.
Ryan: Or NOW!
Jon: Aw! The microwave is dead, it seems! You brought Rapunzel back from retirement, only to kill her!
Jory: (muffled through mask) Uh, you ready to go in there? Or am I just goin' in there?
Riley: YOU'RE goin' in there!
Jon: Here we are, safe behind the shield, while Jory risks his life for a stupid YouTube video!
Jon: I'm gonna lock the door and see what happens!
Jon: I don't know what's goin' on!
*Ryan laughs*
Riley: You are, and always shall be, my friend!
Jon: (muffled) What do we got?
Jon: (muffled) There's the gasoline. We didn't pull any punches. That's real gas.
Jory: Yeah. The cups are stuck together!
Riley: I'm not gonna lie- it smells like pure gasoline!
Jory: I'm sure a lot of you were complaining, "Oh, you didn't actually kill Rapunzel!"
Jory: Oh, we just KILLED Rapunzel, okay? She's [beep]in' DEAD! She's not comin' back! Now, she's dead!
Jory: And so, that's the final conclusion to that. So, you may be wondering, is it a good idea to microwave a cup filled with gas, with tin foil?
Riley: No!
Jory: Uh, no, actually, I think it was exciting. You shouldn't do it, but it was exciting!
Riley: Oh, yeah, it was exciting, I guess. I mean, for the excitement factor, sure. Safety? No!
Jory: I wish the door blew open, though.
Riley: No...
Riley: And we'd be dead!
Riley: Well, that's about all the time we have for...
Jory and Riley: ..."Is It a Good Idea to Microwave This?"
I'm your host, Jory Caron.
I'm your sidekick, Riley McIlwain.
Riley: I have a headache. Oh, I'm tired. Goodnight!
*Jory laughs*
*end credits play*
Jory: It's so funny!
Jory: Spit it out! No, it's okay. Eventually, I'll get it. Eventually, it won't be funny to me anymore!
Jory: [Beep], [beep], [beep], [beep], balls! [Beep] balls!
Riley: Come ON!
Jory: I'm sorry.
*funeral montage music plays*
Jory: Well, you don't wanna put your microwave on a pedestal.
Jon: Repute her!
Jory: Rapunzel!
Jory: (coughs) Some of the burnt bits!
Riley: Wanna hit the "start" button? Now! NO!
Jory: (laughing) No!
*champagne bottle explodes*
Jory and Jon: WHOA!
*funeral montage music ends*
*Click on episode #142 to see why good ol' Jackie Noblett can't be bothered with frivolous stuff like OSHA!*