quick disclaimer everything in this
video and all of my videos are my
opinion
based on detailed research that i
perform that said
i would recommend doing your own
research before you make up your mind
thank you in the past on this channel
we've talked about how to spot
a narcissist as well as the various
stages of a relationship with the
narcissist
but today i want to dive into the
details of what it
feels like to be in a relationship with
a narcissist and the specifics
of narcissistic abuse before we dive in
i do want to clarify that i am not a
psychologist or a psychiatrist
i've just read extensively on this topic
since i've experienced narcissistic
abuse myself
after i left my last and worst
relationship with a narcissist it felt
like waking up from a trance and i
wanted to make sure that i would
never let myself fall for that sort of
trap ever again
and if this understanding can help
others either avoid narcissistic abuse
or process their past experiences then
that would just be
wonderful in the past we've talked about
what narcissists are after
adulation influence status but most
importantly
control in order to gain control over
people
narcissists first appear to be the most
charming easy to get along with people
they come off as very likable in the
beginning of the relationship between
harry and megan
we saw megan turning on the charm
playing the perfect part of a woman
ready to take on the role of one of the
family with harry
but some of you more observant people
saw the small signs that she was lying
especially when her facade slipped um i
definitely something new i think it's um
you know it's a
for me it's a an added member of the
family it's a it's another
another team player as part of the
bigger team and you know for all of us
what we want to do is be able to
megan turned on the charm for the rest
of the family too playing along with
their expectations but there were plenty
of members of the royal family that she
couldn't fool
like prince philip her majesty the queen
princess anne
and prince william and catherine and of
course there were plenty of instances
like the dress fitting for the
bridesmaids the tiara debacle for her
wedding
and her treatment of staff that showed
her true nature
but by this time harry was clearly
already hooked on megan
and this is a very important piece to
note relationships with the narcissist
can feel like an addiction
and narcissists design it that way the
addiction is very blinding and pretty
soon you find yourself doing whatever is
needed to keep the narcissist happy
hence harry's comment what megan wants
megan gets
since harry was so blind to megan's true
nature and everyone else was so appalled
by her behavior
i'm sure to harry it must have been so
shocking that his family didn't love her
the way he did
this is where the poisonous words of a
narcissist start working
overtime when a narcissist fails to
convince someone how
absolutely wonderful they are in this
case harry's family and friends
the next step is to cut those people out
by labeling them
as toxic or vicious or in this case
racist
and to a confused harry who was utterly
beguiled by megan
racism probably sounded like a
reasonable answer for why his brother
his
father his grandfather his aunt and so
many other people were telling him to
take it slow
with the woman of his dreams narcissists
have this unbelievable talent of reading
people
identifying their fears and insecurities
and then fiddling with their fears to
control the person
like i've mentioned before megan quickly
realized that harry had not properly
processed his mother's death
and knew that she could press on that
sore point to get what she wanted
to control the press to make sure
they're never critical of her she pushes
the narrative that they're hunting her
and trying to kill her like they did
princess diana in the documentary harry
made with oprah the me you can't see
harry talks about this and it was almost
comical that even when they're trying to
prove that megan was
being hunted by the press like diana
it's so blatantly false
look at these two clips diana's
experience with the press versus megan's
is extremely different
it's not even in the same category in
the same documentary harry also talks
about how diana was hunted and harassed
because she was dating a person of color
but the most shocking thing to come out
of the documentary was about the night
harry and megan
attended an engagement at the royal
albert hall one of the ways that
narcissists assert control
in relationships is by threatening to
leave to a person in a relationship with
the narcissist
someone who is completely hooked
dependent madly in love the idea that
the narcissist would leave them
feels utterly devastating in this case
megan wanted something
very specific she wanted harry to leave
the royal family and to move away from
his home country with her and their
child
to get this to get him to leave his
world megan told him that she wanted to
kill herself
and proceeded to tell him exactly how
she was planning to do it
here's harry describing the situation
megan decided to share with me
the suicidal thoughts and the
practicalities of
how she was going to end her life the
thing that stopped
her from seeing it through was how
unfair it would be on me
after everything that had happened to my
mom and to now be put in a position of
losing another woman in my life
make no mistake this right here is
narcissistic abuse
megan is using the threat of suicide as
a way to remind him that he has
plenty to lose if he doesn't fall in
line with her demands
it's a very cruel card to play since i'm
sure it triggered all sorts of fear and
trauma for harry and i'm sure this isn't
the only time that megan has used
similar threats to exert control over
him i
completely agree with candace owens here
who said in a tweet
i cannot say enough that prince harry is
in an emotionally abusive
relationship megan has groomed him to
believe that she is his mother be
incarnate only this time
he has the chance to save her this is an
incredibly sad
situation and during the documentary we
can see just how
unraveled harry really is everything has
changed about him he thinks the press is
racist
he says his family was never there for
him when he was mourning his mother and
that he didn't go to therapy until megan
pushed him to do it
four years ago he also says that he's
never really enjoyed being a working
royal
and that he felt like he was treated
poorly by his family sent wherever the
rest didn't want to go
because he was a yes man and finally he
says that flying into london
the city that's been his home all his
life has always been triggering but
there are so many inconsistencies here
it was reported that he had said that
he'd gotten into therapy
seven years ago and that it was his
brother who had pushed him
into doing it during a conversation
between him william and catherine
for their mental health charity heads
together he said that william pushed him
to talk more about their mother's death
i always thought to myself you know
what's the point of bringing up the past
what's the point of bringing up
something that's only going to make you
sad it ain't going to change it
it ain't going to bring her back and
when you start thinking like that it can
be really damaging and you always said
to me he said you know
you've got to sit down and think about
those memories but for me it was like
don't want to think about it yeah he
also said that his father helped him
cope after diana died as far as his work
he always seemed to enjoy himself and
photographers that traveled with prince
harry
always said that he had a great
relationship with the press and
always seemed to be the most engaged
this is yet another consequence of a
relationship with a narcissist and that
is the rewriting of history
harry himself has admitted that he did
not feel trapped in his life
until megan helped him see it that way
as part of exerting control in a
narcissistic relationship a narcissist
will convince the person
that you need them but they've rescued
you from your misery
that you are under their care and they
will protect you
it's a strange dynamic where to the
narcissist you
are their property you are not an
independent person with the will of your
own
no you belong to them and you need to
listen to them
because they know better and have your
best interests in mind
it's this manipulation that has changed
harry from an independent man to megan's
lieutenant he
is her foot soldier seeing the world as
she's defined it for him
and looking at his family friends and
his past as
she's described it to him so if it feels
like we don't recognize prince harry at
all it's because he is 100 under the
control of a narcissist
the thing is that harry was someone who
invited all of this
in it's very clear that harry has not
been in a healthy mental place
since his mother died he's been lost
that is until megan found him
and he feels like megan is saving him
when in fact
megan is using him controlling him for
her
own means and this was certainly my
experience of narcissist
after coming out of the relationship i
mentioned before i realized that this
man had used my insecurities to first
create safety for me and then use it to
control and manipulate me
after understanding that one point my
trajectory changed forever
and i hope it helps other people
understand narcissistic abuse and
control too
well what do you think did you watch the
me you can't see documentary and
what did you think about the details
harry shared about his relationship with
megan
and with his family in a separate video
i want to look deeper into how his
experience of his mother's death and how
and why it has contrasted heavily with
the way prince
william has handled his grief if you
would be interested in that video please
let me know in the comments
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you