- Attracting love is simple. It is so simple.
We make it complicated,
but it has to do with simply being ourselves.
You probably heard the saying before, just be yourself.
Just be yourself, bro.
Just be yourself.
And here's the thing, that's true.
It is just be yourself.
Now the question is who is the real me?
Who am I really?
Is the nice guy, people pleaser person the version of me?
Is that really me?
Who am I really?
But when you're being yourself,
you're not trying, you're not attached to outcome.
You're leading in your own life. You're in your own frame.
You're not needing stuff from other people.
That's why being yourself is so damn attractive.
And in this episode,
I wanna show you step-by-step how to have these little
shifts when it comes to attracting love,
that will change everything, that will help you
to embody the energy that you came here to embody.
And then also we're gonna be going through that
of Instagram and looking all these blocks
that people said they have to attracting love.
And what we're gonna do is we're gonna break them down
so that we can remove the blocks
to attract love easier than ever.
So with that being said, let's get into it.
Welcome back to another episode
on The Aaron Doughty Podcast.
My name's Aaron, and today we are going to be going into
all of your biggest blocks that you may be experiencing
when it comes to attracting love,
and what you must do so that this next year
you attract love easier than ever.
And this is also going to include much of the questions
that people are asking on Instagram.
I put inside of my story.
I said what are your biggest blocks to attracting love
and the biggest negative beliefs?
And I'm gonna go through and in a way, debate you guys.
I'm not gonna debate you, but you know what I mean?
I'm gonna break down these different beliefs
to help you release that of the things
that are holding you back from actually attracting love.
So that's what I'm gonna be doing.
And in this episode I'm also gonna be sharing with you
that number one secret that is the key
to you actually attracting love.
And it is so simple that most people overcomplicate it.
Even me in my own life right now,
even though I have attracted love,
I am in this next phase, I guess, of my business,
and I actually just got off the phone with a Zoom call
with my assistant,
and I'm doing this challenge right now.
And I'm realizing that just being vulnerable
with you guys right now,
in a way I'm trying to make something
different than what it is,
and that trying is creating resistance,
which is actually blocking me from the result that I want.
The reason I share that is because I think many of you may
be doing the same thing when it comes to love,
because I know I did for a long time.
I overcomplicated the process.
Now to explain the context
of what I'm talking about right now,
I'm running this challenge called
the 21-day Magnetic Abundance challenge.
And it's like I'm going live,
not all 21 days in a row,
but I'm going live very consistently,
sometimes for an hour, an hour and a half a day.
And I'm coaching people and helping bring people
through a process of transformation.
And back in June of last year,
I did the 21-day Magnetic Love challenge.
The love challenge had almost 4,000 people that bought it.
And 800 to a 1,000 people every single day
that showed up live.
And it became this thing that took on a life of its own,
and I didn't try at all.
I was just doing it. I was being it.
I also close to that time of running that thing,
I attracted love in my life.
So I was very much living in it
and it was just so effortless.
It was just so natural for me to do that.
And by like the fifth or sixth day,
I'd bring people on to coach.
And almost everyone I brought on,
I'm not saying this to brag or anything by the way,
because I think it's the container,
but every person I brought on,
and I'm not selling it by the way, I don't even care.
I'm not saying any of this stuff because I'm trying to get
you guys to buy it or anything. I don't give a shit.
I'm just sharing with you the actual
so you can understand the context.
Every person I brought on was like raving
about how awesome it's been,
how much it's changed their life and stuff like that.
And I'd like get into what I'm coaching them about,
but then I just have such
this is the most powerful thing I've done
and blah, blah, blah.
And it was such a cool feeling because I'm like,
wow, this is really adding value.
Well, because I did that in June and now I'm doing one,
and it's January when I recorded this in 2022,
I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself that I'm like,
everyone has to have an extremely transformative
experience by the third day or it's all not worth it.
You know?
And I can tell that I'm like trying to make it something.
And I was talking to my assistant,
she was like, why don't you just...
The time it's most enjoyable is when I'm just being myself.
When I'm being myself, I'm getting the best result.
I'm helping people the most.
And it's like, I'm just being myself
and therefore getting the results.
But the mind is like complicating things.
There's another aspect of me too,
just to bring this into, it's all metaphor,
but I was trying to figure out a way of doing
this live call that I was doing,
where I was teaching how to shift into abundance
and I was sharing stories from my life,
I was trying to figure out how can I also
make this piece of content relatable
because if I might wanna post this one day
on YouTube or in a podcast so that you guys could hear
what it's like behind the scenes of these things.
And I could tell that because I knew I wanted to put it on
YouTube while I was making it,
I wasn't as present with the people that were there
because I was also trying to make it
under the context of YouTube.
So I was present,
but also focusing on three different things,
trying to hold it all together,
trying to like put a lot of pressure on myself
to make it a certain way.
And because I was doing all of this,
I was infusing resistance into the process and it just
wasn't as natural as it could have been.
And when I was talking to someone of my teams,
she was saying like, just be yourself.
And it's so simple,
and it's funny because I was thinking to myself,
that's also the key and the cure to attracting love.
That's it. Be yourself.
And the funny thing though,
is the way we like to complicate this.
We like to say, oh well,
because we think that we aren't good enough the way we are.
We think we need to be differently than we are.
And this also poses the questions like who am I?
Because when I look at the old nice guy version of me,
was that the real me,
or is this version of Aaron the real me?
That's what gets confusing.
It's like, well, who am I really?
Is it the people,
because some people they will argue,
whenever I talked to my dad about this,
not argues with me,
but I kind of poke at him and sometimes I need to stop
poking at him because I realize it doesn't always help,
but I'm like, dad, why are you so damn nice all the time?
Because my dad's like the nicest guy in the world
and I had to shed the nice guy pattern,
and I can see that my dad as the nice guy,
I can see that he's attracted a lot of situations in his
life to almost provoke him
or to kind of like tug on him
to move into a different warrior aspect of his life
and to not be so passive.
He attracted my ex step-mom who is a narcissist.
He's attracted certain positions.
I can even see that...
I don't wanna...
Sometimes I share too much about my family members
and their lives and stuff,
and then they find out and then I feel like it's like
I should've said something.
But I could see how maybe my dad
would've got a promotion a long time earlier if he was more
assertive with himself in some ways, I'll just say that.
And sometimes I ask him because I had to shed
the nice guy thing like a year or two ago.
But because I was a nice guy,
I was attracting people that met me at that level.
But it was like they almost...
I didn't get that respect. I wasn't as polarizing.
I wasn't the real me. The nice guy wasn't the real Aaron.
The nice guy was this it was safe for me to be nice
and want people to feel happy
and feel people like to please them
and always like attracting people
I felt like I needed to fix,
but that wasn't actually the real authentic me.
So there is a caveat with this,
but the key to you attracting love,
the key to you even making more money and abundance
is you being yourself.
But it is you being your real self,
your real authentic self without filters
that may require you to do a little bit of the inner work
so that you release aspects of yourself
that you've been holding back.
Sometimes I can tell that I hold myself back
from being the real me,
because I am afraid of what other people will think of me.
Like for example,
one thing that you may not know from my channel that I
sometimes I don't share is I've been afraid
for so long to share on my YouTube channel
or even just in social media,
I don't post the food that I eat.
The reason I don't post the food that I eat is
because a lot of people assume that I'm vegan,
because I was vegan also years ago.
I was vegan.
I think I even made a why I am vegan video
like five, six years ago,
and I was at the time vegan and I believed that.
But then I went through a phase
where I transitioned out of being vegan.
I didn't feel called to be in vegan anymore.
I felt like I could kind of see it
as more of a belief system.
I think it does work for some people.
I'm not saying it's horrible.
I'm not saying it's bad,
but it wasn't optimal for me is what I realized.
And I've known that a lot of the people that follow me
that share with me,
or that like follow me on YouTube
are or may be vegan or maybe eating
a very specific diet like that.
And I've been afraid to share that because I'm like,
there was a part of me that was like afraid of rejection,
that's afraid of people not approving.
Like I'm somebody that's a people pleasing.
Everyone has to like me.
But the thing is,
is it's not actually authentic for me to
kind of not share certain aspects of my life maybe.
I mean, not that on social media I have to share
when I'm at like a sushi restaurant and stuff,
but I can just tell that
there's aspects of my own shadow that I've been
afraid to share because afraid
of what other people will think, you know?
And I can see now that I look back that I'm holding myself
back and that becomes a part of my own shadow.
Like why do I need everybody to like me?
Why do I need everyone to approve of me?
I don't care what the hell other people eat.
You know? I don't.
And because of that, I have that mentality,
it's like why am I afraid that if I would
share something like that,
that I'd get a lot of backlash?
Why does it even matter?
From a certain perspective,
not that I'm like telling people what to do,
I don't know. I don't know if I should even get into that.
I don't know, who cares?
I think that one thing that's funny that's
just this idea that I have when it comes
to the whole vegan thing is plants are consciousness,
and they are also...
Yes, I guess there's a difference in the density
between a plant and an animal,
but at the same time, we're all connected.
We're all one thing.
So when we're eating plants,
we're eating like other aspects of ourself,
because we're all infinite intelligence anyways.
And when we eat animals, that's like another version of it.
So it's just interesting to me,
because there's a part of me,
even as I'm explaining this right now,
I'm being very, very careful with how I say things,
because I can feel inside of my body this fear come up.
Just like, what if I say this?
But it's not even if I say something wrong,
it's how will people take me if I say that
in a way that sounds not compassionate.
Of course, I'm a compassionate person.
And of course I love animals and all this stuff,
but because I were to eat fish and meat,
it's like there's a part of me
that's afraid of being rejected.
So the reason I'm sharing all of this with you,
and the whole plant thing I was saying is
plants are like also consciousness being.
So if we really loved plants so much,
maybe we wouldn't eat them as much.
You know what I mean?
But it's just a funny way of looking at this plant,
this has more consciousness in life
energy than this thing.
And we put them on pedestals in different ways
when they're all just one.
We're all part of this like source consciousness anyways.
I think of course there's a way something is done.
The meat that I do eat is organic. It's grass fed.
It's treated very different way than
some of the other stuff, I guess.
But anyways, the reason I'm sharing this with you
is because I wanna be vulnerable,
and I wanna really encourage you guys to go into
your own vulnerability and ask yourself,
why are you sometimes maybe afraid
of what other people think of you?
But when you hold yourself back from being the real you,
it's like you're holding yourself back from attracting
people that would really resonate with you,
or at least resonate with the courage that you might have
to share something.
Even if I just said that about the whole vegan thing
and you're vegan,
there might be a part of you that respects
the fact that I said something that I was afraid to say,
do you see what I mean?
Like even though you might not agree with it, you know?
And I think that we're moving into a time of 20...
This next years and stuff where it's like really
accepting other people and what they believe,
but also being and having the courage to really share
who we really are, you know?
So it's like this interesting thing.
Also just not trying to talk people...
I get people that reach out to me a lot that are like,
they've been maybe even vegan for a couple of years,
and then they say their health is declining.
They're having issues.
I have a friend of mine that was raw vegan
and vegan for like 10 years
and her teeth are falling out,
and she literally had to start
eating meat because her teeth long-term wasn't having...
She was losing... I don't know what it was.
Her and her dad both, they're losing their teeth.
And they have to do things to mitigate that.
And my girlfriend was vegan for so long
and she's just stopped branching out of that.
But I could just tell that it's something people
really feel trapped in,
they feel trapped in their own beliefs.
They feel trapped in their own perspectives.
And sometimes it's not even because it's really
what they want,
but they're afraid of what other people will think.
That's what is really interesting to me.
Now the reason I'm sharing this
is also because I can see that
the answer to attracting love,
we'll get into the...
I'm gonna start looking into these things in a second,
in my Instagram with all the things people say
that are blocking them from love,
but the key to attracting love is being yourself.
Now being yourself also means being aware
of how you are leading in your own life.
When I say leading in your own life,
I mean do you have a vision for who you are
and what are your values?
Values are kind of like belief systems,
but they're like virtues that you live by.
The thing is,
is most of our values are on autopilot from younger in life.
My values back in the day,
being the people pleaser
was I craved other people's validation.
I craved significance.
I craved mitigating tension.
So I craved comfortability, being comfortable.
And I can see that that was very much keeping me
in a little bit of a box.
Then I go through my awakening and then I start questioning
some of my beliefs about reality
and just even about the whole nice guy thing,
and I realized that, that wasn't the real me.
And as I realized that, that wasn't the real me,
me being like the nice guy and people pleasing
and trying to fix people,
I started asking myself who am I really?
What do I really value?
And one of the things I really value
is vulnerability, authenticity.
These are more important than validation now,
because in my mind I value these differently
and I embody it by expressing things.
I think the thing that a lot of people in my channel
resonate to me that watch me on YouTube or my podcast
is I am vulnerable.
I'm vulnerable and I share things from my life
that maybe some people wouldn't share, you know?
Even sometimes the things that
I'm afraid to share, you know?
And the thing is, is that's something that I value
more than even people's validation, you know?
I think I'm still minutely aware of what people
think and feel about certain things I say,
but I'm much more unapologetic now than I used to be.
But the funny thing is as I started getting clear
as to who I am,
and as I started to understand my own sense
of self-worth and self-value,
it made everything easier.
That was when I attracted love.
I had blocks at love. I didn't feel worthy.
I felt a lot of shame because I thought
it was because of past relationships,
but actually it stemmed back to childhood,
being a child and having different dynamics
that were going on that made me feel like
I wasn't heard, I wasn't seen, I'm not worthy.
My parents divorced,
obviously it's because I wasn't good enough.
That's just how as little kids we are.
We're a little narcissists who think
the world revolves around us.
So I can look back now and I can very clearly see
that I had to redefine myself and redefine my own values.
And once I started doing that and I started being the most
authentic version of me,
and I stopped caring so much
about what other people thought,
and I focused on being vulnerable and being authentic
and showing my true desires,
that was also something that was depolarizing love dynamics,
was I was afraid of showing my true desires towards
if I was into someone or attracted to someone.
That's why with my girlfriend, when I first met her,
I was very clear and with my intentions of like
not just being friends with her,
and the nice guy is afraid of the rejection,
so we'll mitigate that at all costs.
But I had to get aware of these things.
And as I started to be myself
and as I started to be that version of me,
everything changed, a lot of the blocks removed.
I did the childhood stuff where I became aware
of the shame that I had growing up,
and I realized that a lot of the stuff that I internalized
as a kid was not my fault.
It was my parents' stuff, not mine.
And as I started to redefine myself and I started honestly
also opening my heart,
I was realizing I was like,
it was safe for me to block love from my life
by talking myself out of it.
And what I would do is I would find a million reasons why
certain people I was dating was not good for me,
and I would like talk down things
before I even went into them.
And that caused a big block because I literally was not
attracting people into my life because I was judging them,
which was also making them judge me.
People feel what you feel.
So the biggest changes in my life when it came
to attracting love, that changed everything,
was when I started being the real me.
One of the parts of you being the real you, by the way,
is you doing and being what you're passionate about.
Me making videos was very important I think,
because it's me in my most authentic vibration.
Even Heather says, my girlfriend,
she says that she's known of me for years
and always been attracted to me for years
because of just my energy and how I've been,
and she always felt like there'd be a connection there.
But it's like when you are in the most
authentic version of you,
people feel that off of you and they're more likely to be
attracted to you.
So first off it's being the real you,
it's letting go of the shadow aspects
like the nice guy, the people pleaser,
which is there to keep you safe from tension
or from people judging you.
And as you begin to look at that, a lot begins to change.
And then opening your heart
was a very powerful part of the process for me too.
I had to open my heart and stop judging women
I was going on dates with.
I had to stop judging and talking to myself out of stuff.
And that was very important when it came to it too.
And honestly, another big part of this too,
is I had to say no to past patterns,
which is very challenging to do.
I had to say no to past patterns of...
I had a pattern of choosing people that weren't choosing me.
And I realized it was because I wasn't choosing myself,
but also I just didn't feel like I was worthy enough
for people to really choose me.
And I would find myself in relationships with people
that I was trying to sell myself to,
that I was trying to show how worthy I am
versus just being worthy.
And when I started being worthy and feeling worthy
and understanding my own value and feeling that from within,
that's when everything really changed.
So these are things that I encourage you to look at
when it comes to attracting love in this year in general,
and these are all things that have really changed my life.
And things happened very quickly when I did that.
I have a friend right now that's in a certain pattern,
and I can tell that she's in this pattern where
she's keeping like an ex around
and they're kind of going back and forth and stuff.
But I can tell that until she says no to that pattern,
she won't say yes to anything else.
So she's kind of playing that out right now.
And it's interesting to me because I also did that
for a long time, I was like playing out old patterns.
Once you say no and you let go of a past relationship,
of a past part of yourself, of an ex,
you then make room for something new.
So to attract love within the next year,
that's something else that you wanna do.
You want to let go of the past dynamics,
the past relationships, and you want to realize...
Whoops, I'm on my Instagram looking at the...
It actually went to someone else's story.
You wanna look at these aspects of yourself
if you are being attached to the past,
because if you're staying attached to the past,
then you're not letting or making room
for anything new to come into your life.
And if you say yes to things that aren't serving you,
you have to say no to things that aren't serving you
for you to say yes to things that will serve you.
And that was something I had to do.
And I had the courage to also put myself out there
and had my courage to like express my true feelings
and my true vulnerability.
And as I did that, so much of my life began to change.
Now let's look at some of the blocks that people said.
I said, what are your biggest blocks to attracting love?
And let me read some of them.
So let's see.
Someone said, Mr. Nice guy.
So that's exactly what I was saying earlier.
So for a long time,
I was very nice and I wanted people's validation,
but understand that the nice guy is active to keep people
from knowing who you really are.
There's a level of shame that comes
if you were to really be the real you
that you're afraid to show,
you're afraid to show that you have desire.
You might have desire for sex.
You might have desire to connect with somebody else,
and you might be ashamed of it.
You might be ashamed of having opinions that are polarizing
because you care what other people think.
Here's what I think.
If you are being Mr. Nice guy or Mr. Nice girl
or people pleaser,
growing up, you had to be the glue maker.
You had to be the person that glued the family together.
You had to be the person that made everything all right,
because there was so much chaos and you avoided the tension.
But the thing is,
is that is a defense mechanism that is keeping
you in a pattern that no longer serves you.
And you have to become aware of that.
That's what I had to do.
I had to realize the nice guy thing wasn't working.
I would feel drained. I'd have problems setting boundaries.
I would feel like people would walk on me.
People would think they could take advantage of me.
I wasn't expressing the real me.
And then I woke up.
And when I woke up,
that's when things began to change,
and you have to be aware that the nice guy
is just a defense mechanism.
People pleasing, it's just a defense mechanism.
And as you become aware of that
you begin to take your power back.
And that's what you begin to do, is take your power back.
Take your power back and understand that,
that nice guy stuff is not real, it's not authentic.
And when you do, you then go have vulnerability.
That's the cure, it's vulnerability,
sharing how you really feel.
Like somebody that's afraid to talk to maybe a girl
or a girl that's afraid to talk to a guy,
they're afraid of the rejection, of the abandonment.
People pleasing and nice guyness
is also an abandonment wound.
You're afraid of being abandoned,
but you've already caused the initial abandonment,
the abandonment of the self.
You've abandoned the real you.
Come back home.
Come back home and realize that you came here to be the most
unapologetic version of you.
You came here to be the real you.
You came here to express yourself.
Not everyone's gonna like you and it's okay.
But you came here to express that.
And when you start owning that parts of yourself,
that's what changes.
Give yourself permission to be yourself
knowing that you're also enough.
As I go through these right now,
some people are saying things like thinking about my ex.
Someone says sometimes we fight for trying
to make it right with an ex,
because we think that that was our one shot.
That was our one shot at love.
And sometimes we're even fighting for toxic patterns.
We might be fighting for codependency.
We might have somebody that represents to us
our mom or our dad growing up,
and we're like fighting, because that's familiar.
Family, familiar. These are very similar words.
Because we will fight for familiar emotions.
And you might be fighting for your ex
because it reminds you of a similar energy
dynamic growing up.
After my ex step-mom left my life when I was 15,
I attracted a girlfriend that was very jealous,
had to know where I was at, at all times,
always paranoid that I gonna cheat on her.
And she gave me a lot of rules.
Because I liked rules, it felt familiar.
I didn't like rules, that's the funny thing.
I was always given rules that I had to break out of.
And then after I broke up with her
after four years too long,
should've broken up with her after a year,
but four years, stayed in it longer than I should have.
Oh, interesting. My dad did the same thing.
We tend to follow similar patterns of our parents.
I then got transferred to a better shoe department at
Nordstrom's where the manager was the same
as my ex step-mom.
Familiar, family. This feels normal.
I'm used to this emotion.
So realize that you thinking about your ex
and that you being attached to your ex
might be just a way you're fighting for familiar emotions.
Have the courage to let it go.
And what you feel like you've lost has meaning.
Everything in life is fundamentally neutral.
When we're afraid of losing something,
it's because we're afraid we won't find new meaning.
It's like the meaning I have in my ex
is the only meaning I can ever create.
I'm afraid of letting that go
because then I'll have no meaning.
No, that's why a lot of times after breaking up
with someone, it's good to find meaning of the other things,
whether it's your passion,
it's being around friends and family,
you will find new meaning.
There's like 8 million people out there in the world
and you're fighting,
believing that there's one person that's it.
It's the one.
Instead realize that you are the one.
Neo.
Have you guys see Matrix yet?
I haven't seen it, but I'm gonna see it soon.
Maybe the next time I do another podcast episode
I'll let you guys know what I thought of it,
but I'm a huge Matrix fan.
Someone said shame, yep.
I had a lot of shame believing I'm broken.
Shame is also a lot of times related to unworthiness.
If you feel like you're unworthy.
We tolerate in our lives what we believe we deserve.
So if we believe that we deserve someone
that's treating us like shit,
we will keep that active and that will be our life.
One of the keys though,
that really changes everything is when you start
going into your shame and your worthiness,
and you start becoming aware of it.
Now remember, shame breeds in the dark.
Shame does not want to be aware of,
and that's why people have shame.
Like say a nice guy is afraid to show
that they have sexual desire for someone they're dating
or someone they wanna take on a date,
that's why a lot of times nice guys and people pleasers
stay in the friend zone
because they're just fucking friendly.
They're really good at easing tension, there's no polarity.
But they're afraid that somebody's gonna find out,
like men are afraid that people are gonna find out
that they actually have desire.
Women are afraid people are gonna find out
they actually have desire.
That's interesting because it's natural,
but we're afraid of it.
If you would just own it,
give yourself permission to own it,
then that'd be different story.
But when you bring vulnerability,
that's a way of bringing it into the light
because you're not afraid to show it.
And yes, you could still get rejected,
but you'll find that a lot of times
when you let go of the fear or you go into it,
it either doesn't happen or it's not nearly as big
as you make it in your mind.
But that's one of the other things that's really changed
my life, is going into that shame and feeling it
and realizing when you feel it, you heal it.
So let's see what else.
Yeah, fear of rejection, opening up and intimacy.
That was another one for me,
even when I got into the relationship with Heather.
She's so emotionally available
and so nurturing that it was like I had to get used to that
because my body was not in my mind,
just I wasn't used to having someone
that loved me that much.
And it was like almost like a sabotage thing where
I didn't think I was worthy of it.
How could somebody even like me this much?
And it required me going into the unfamiliar,
unfamiliar, because in my family growing up,
it was not a familiar feeling for me to get...
If I was being touched, it was I was being hit.
That was the way I was like treated
from seven to 15 years old with my ex step-mom,
and our real mom wasn't allowed
to be in our life until afterwards.
But I had to let that
fear go because if I was touched before,
it was like something negative.
It was like, oh, now I have someone
that's really nurturing me.
And it's funny because it's always what I felt
like I wanted, but when I started getting it,
there was a fear of intimacy that came up,
there was fear that came up because it was unfamiliar.
And when we're in the unknown, that feels kind of scary.
So I was telling my friend this too,
that's going through she's kind of still
keeping an ex thing alive,
and I could just tell the process she's going through.
But also I was like,
the next step for you is you're gonna find someone that
is emotionally available and they're gonna have to focus
on being present with it because it's gonna kind of scare
you because you're not used to it.
And in the beginning of my relationship with Heather
that's one thing I had to do,
is I had to confront that part of myself
that wasn't used to that nurturing.
And I had to realize
that I could let that fear go and be present with it.
And that it was really something that I wanted too.
But sometimes people also they may be fighting
to stay in like past relationships that
don't work because they're afraid of finding somebody
that would actually be present with them,
that would actually be emotionally available.
We always attract people that are like equal to
what we're currently experiencing.
When I worked a nine to five job, I hated it.
I always had girlfriends that worked
nine to five jobs they hated.
When I started doing what I love,
I've always been with someone that does what they love.
So there's a difference there.
So let's see. Someone says afraid of commitment.
The commitment is normally a trust issue
because one of your parents or somebody
broke trust with you.
It could have been abuse,
could have been they said they were gonna
do something they didn't,
it could have been an ex cheated on you.
These are all things that may have happened,
and then you're now afraid of commitment
because you're afraid of that, of being hurt.
And also you have to become aware of your beliefs too.
A lot of times we'll have beliefs that like to be
in a relationship represents lack of freedom.
Become aware of what your stories are,
what your beliefs are.
As you become aware of that,
you can realize, oh, I've had similar fears before,
because it's like, oh, freedom. I have a business.
I have this, I have that.
But when you think that something's gonna like block you
if you had it, then it's like you're not gonna attract it
because you have all these negative connotations to it.
So become aware of your stories about it.
What is your story about love?
What is your story about a relationship?
Does it mean you lose all your freedom?
What if you attract...
Then maybe also you had parents that were ultra controlling
growing up or something,
and you think that if you were in a relationship
then it would be a loss of freedom.
Why does being in a relationship
have to be a loss of freedom?
You see the difference there?
There's some people that give a meaning to relationships
that is ultimate freedom,
because then you could do stuff with someone else.
You see what I mean?
But that feeling of being trapped or whatever that fear is,
it's because you might have felt that growing up.
And I had controlling parents growing up
and stuff like that so I know what that's like,
but you have to be willing to go into that
and become aware of it.
Become aware of the stories.
Thinking and feeling undesirable, somebody said.
If we feel undesirable, it's a worthiness thing.
It means we don't feel worthy,
and we're not valuing ourselves.
We're not...
When you are...
It means that you are looking for something.
You might be desiring somebody else,
because you think have something you don't have.
The thing is attracting love is really about becoming love
and about being in alignment and being in your passion.
When you're being the real you,
those blocks begin to go away and you will feel desirable
because you will feel worthy, worthy.
The word worthy has the word worth in it,
and worth is associated with value.
Are you valuing yourself?
Are you putting out great stuff into the world?
Are you passionate?
You have worthiness and you have value just by being you.
Everything in our reality has a purpose.
Nothing was done by accident.
And when we realize that the trees, the plants, the bees,
all that shit, it all has a purpose, including you.
And sometimes it's funny because people will say no.
Okay, I agree that everything in reality has purpose,
except for me, that's significance.
Everything but me.
It's like a significant thing.
And instead look and realize you have worthy.
You are worthy for just being you,
just like everything else has value, you have value too.
So a lot of these...
So...
Yeah, someone says, "But I think the biggest problem is not
being able to know what your biggest block is."
That's a story in of itself.
So if you believe that finding blocks is hard,
then it would be hard to find blocks.
Most of your stories by the way, are right in front of you.
If you have blocks finding love, then you can guarantee,
oh, there's a block there, then you're aware of it.
There's some type of block.
Well, what do I have to believe is true
for me to have this reality?
If somebody is treating you bad,
what would you have to believe it's true
to have someone that treats you like shit?
What would you have to believe
if you have somebody that's emotionally unavailable?
What'd you have to believe if you are really afraid of
getting rejected and you're not even going out
to begin with?
These are all really in front of you.
But if you believe there are these deep subconscious things
that are under the surface, then they will be.
But this is the key,
and this is one of the things
that really changes everything,
is when you become aware of these things.
Now there is also something, five confidence secrets.
Confidence means to trust.
Confidence comes from the word 'trust',
and it means to trust yourself.
And there's confidence secrets
that will make you attractive
and that will help you feel that sense of
self-love on the inside.
If you haven't checked out that video yet,
you can click it here.
It's one of the most powerful videos I've made
and watch it because it will change your life.
People feel what you feel about you.
The energy inside of our bodies are contagious.
And based on how we feel about ourselves,
that energy is being emanated out and other people are-