I'm going to give you a whole bunch of them,
right here, in this video.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am an attorney and I'm also a narcissist negotiation expert and
I've helped millions of people go from lives of drama, trauma and chaos,
to lives of freedom, possibility and purpose.
I’ve written two best-selling books,
“Negotiate like you M.A.T.T.E.R” and
“Breaking Free, step-by- step divorce guide” and
I want to help you too.
So, make sure that you hit that subscribe button and
you hit that notification bell,
so that you can also break free and
negotiate your best life when it comes to dealing with narcissists.
So, what are the types of insults you hear in a narcissistic relationship?
All right, I'm going to give you a whole bunch of them and
I'm going to save the best one till the end,
like, I'm going to give you nine of them.
And it's like so backhanded,
they tell you they love you and
they start off with love bombing and
they start out with how wonderful you are and
how amazing you are and
you're so gorgeous, handsome, or sexy or fantastic,
even in a business relationship,
because I was in a business relationship with a narcissist,
they start off and you are the most charming, sexy, amazing, wonderful,
then, they start insulting you, they start to devaluing you,
they start saying “No one else thinks you're amazing”,
“Nobody else would love you the way I would”,
“Who else would want you?”.
So, they start like isolating you in that way.
So, that's number one, it's sort of a backhanded thing,
it's like, “I love you, but no one else would”.
So you're like walking into a party,
walking into a function and
you're like all happy, you're fine, life is good and
then, all the sudden, they say this thing like,
“Don't say anything to embarrass me”.
Why would I say anything to embarrass you?
Maybe they think you're stupid,
maybe they think you don't know what you're talking about,
but anyway, they say,
“Don't say anything to embarrass me”,
so now you're like worried about what it is
that's going to come out of your mouth,
because you’re afraid you're going to say something to embarrass them.
Maybe you're going to a work function with them,
or something like that and
you're worried you're going to say something
that might embarrass them.
Or they might just out- and-out just flat out say
that you're stupid, or that you're an idiot.
They either will say you have no idea what you're talking about,
or that you’re just flat out stupid.
They'll say this in a number of different ways,
like you're just terrible with money,
or that you're terrible driver,
or that you're just worthless when it comes to doing something,
or that you're horrible at cleaning.
They'll tell you that you're worthless,
but they may not come right out and say it in that specific way,
but in so many ways you get this sense that
they think that you're worthless.
So, that's number four.
Similarly, I have a video on narcissists’ favorite catchphrases,
which you could definitely check out.
That's another one of my videos.
Because this is all a bunch of lies and
I want you to understand that
this is just a bunch of their projection and deflection,
they are projecting their own sense of no self-worth onto you,
they are very empty inside and
people treat other people the way they feel about themselves,
hurt people hurt people.
They have no sense of self,
they have no sense of self-worth and
so they are projecting this bunch of crap onto you.
So, I do want you to understand that
the reason why they are emotionally abusive,
which is what this is,
is because they are hurting inside.
So, don't take this on, alright?
So, we're only halfway through,
but I do want to stop and just say this,
don't take this on, this has nothing to do with you,
this only has to do with them.
So, they'll compare you to somebody else and
make you feel like less,
because that other person looks better than you in some way.
They’ll just make a comment about
how you look less good than somebody else.
They'll say your family is stupid, your family is trash,
your family is messed up in some way,
your family is bipolar, your family has issues,
your family is dysfunctional, uneducated, horrible,
whatever, bunch of degenerates, losers,
they’ll say things about your family,
because, a lot of times,
they’re trying to actually isolate you from your family.
So, they'll say things about your family,
may be they’ll call your family a bunch of narcissists,
telling you your family hates you,
your family is awful, that sort of thing.
That's a really hurtful one now, isn't it?
I mean, the truth of the matter is,
they don't have the ability to even love themselves,
so again, you can't take this stuff personally.
It's so hurtful.
I mean, they can be so hurtful and
they may even say something like,
“I was never attracted to you”, “I never wanted you”,
they can be so awful.
In other words, I cheated on you because you made me,
because you didn't give me enough sex,
because you didn't give me enough physical attention,
something like that and
they blame you for the fact that they went out and cheated.
Definitely seen this a lot as a divorce attorney,
just don't allow them to put that on you and
the other one that's actually very similar to this,
is that “You caused me to be an addict”,
“Your behavior caused me to become a drug addict or alcoholic”,
or something like that.
Don't allow them to put that on you.
“You don't make enough money”,
“You are inadequate”, “You're a horrible provider”,
all that sort of thing.
This is especially horrible for men, by the way,
it's a much worse insult for men,
I've definitely seen that.
It definitely can erode at the marriage and
when you're not respected in the relationship, it's horrible.
I always say there's 3 A's that erode at the marriage,
abuse, addiction and adultery.
When you have even one of these,
then, you can't stay married to a person usually,
because it just erodes away at the foundation of a relationship and
abuse, even if it's emotional, abuse is abuse.
When you are married to it a narcissist,
it's constant abuse.
So, if you think you might be in a relationship with a narcissist and
you're not sure,
I have a quiz, which is in the description below here,
which you are welcome to check out.
Are you in a relationship with a narcissist?
It's in the description below and
I do have a partnership with BetterHelp,
which you are welcome if you think you might need online therapy,
which you can check that out below as well.
I also have a free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet,
which you can check out at winnegotiation.com.
If you have not subscribed to this channel,
please do so now.
Subscribe, hit that notification bell,
I upload brand new content every day, right here for you,
the only attorney that's doing this in a powerful way,
offering free negotiation advice every single day.
So make sure you subscribe, hit that notification bell and
make sure you like this video and you share it out,
so that other people get access to this information.
Remember today’s a great day to start negotiating your best life and
I will see see you guys in the next video.