Don't you just love
getting into arguments with your friends.
We're having a civilized conversation-talking all normal and
ALL OF A SUDDEN PEOPLE START TALKING LIKE THIS!!
And why can we always think of the best comebacks for an argument
the day AFTER the argument is over.
And I know you've had people try to suck you into those pointless arguments like...
If aliens exist.
Or if the Illuminati is real
Like, what are you gunna do with the rest of your day that you weren't gonna already do
knowing that aliens are real.
Cuz of the end of it
You're gunna believe what you believe
I'mma believe what I believe but
now you wanna fight!
And believe me, you don't want this problem!
I beat Smash brothers
on HARD Mode!
You don't want THIS problem
TRUST!!
And I've seen Matrix, 99 times...
TODAY!!
You don't want this problem!
Speaking of Matrix
I got into an argument one time with my girlfriend
over Matrix
Her favorite thing is was
RACISM!!!
If we were out eating and the table next to us got their food first
RACISM!!!
She's playing a game online and she loses
RAAACCCIISSSMMM!!!!!
So, I'm at her house one day
And she busts out with
Hollywood is full of racism
even your precious movie,
Matrix
It's fuuuuullll of racism
And see I am well versed in anything that I like
So don't come at me and try my life.
Ummm, well... what you don't know is
the directors of Matrix stole the idea from a black lady
and she won in court
However comma
I'm positive...
that the whole movie is not some symbolic racism poke
And her aunts, uncles, and cousins were all at the house
And if you pull me into an arguement
Be very very careful
because 9 times outta 9
I already have evidence to prove you wrong
But I'mma let you dig your hole deeper and deeper
Low-key I'm over here Birdman Hand Rub
Cuz Imma bout to drop a bomb
on all these turkeys
Neo's supposed to be Jesus
Guess who they got to play Neo...
Keanu!!
Racismmm~
You just don't see it
because you're an Uncle Tom, Adande.
And I love when they start making personal attacks on you
Anyways
So yeah, I let them go on like this for 15 to 20 minutes
And then I drop
Oh yeah? Matrix is racist?
Guess who's one of the first people
they offered the role of Neo to
Will
Flippin' Smith!
BOOM!!!
Drop the mic!
Who's your daddy.
Me
I showed them some videos of Will Smith's wife
talking about how he got the role and he turned it down
This other time
I was in an Uber with my friend and I don't know how we get on the topic
but then he said
Yeah, when you die
It was your time to go
So, I'm like...
Yeeeeeeaaaaaahhhh
but no
There's no such thing as accidental death.
When it's your time
it's your time!
And sometimes when people sense
during a debate that their argument is flimsy
they'll get all personal for no reason
Well, when I was a little kid
people broke into my house
They put a gun to my head
And a knife in my mouth
But then they let me go
Because it wasn't my time
Uhhhh oooookaaaay
That's.....nice....
that they let you go
Um, and I'm sure
you're a big fan of the Final Destination movies
Buuuuut
I don't think death is on some schedule
they look at the calendar and
Time to kill 'em!!
When it's your time to die
IT'S YOUR TIME
TO
GO!!
NO EXCEPTIONS!!
So you're saying death is predetermined on a time schedule
and there's no exceptions.
Hm, okay
Um
What if we're speeding along in this Uber
And I open the door
and jump out
and the car behind us runs me over.
Does that mean it was my time?
If that's how you see things, cool
I disagree with your theory
and I'm gonna look down at my phone now
And the worst part about all this
is when you lose friendships
just because you don't see things the way they see things.
First, that's not smart.
Surrounding yourself with like-minded people, that's great.
BUT!!
Think of the benefits by having a few people around
who don't think like you.
That's all I'm saying.