- I'm at The Cheesecake Factory.
It's their 40th birthday.
(noisemaker blowing)
- And I'm trying 40 of their most insane dishes.
(funky pop music)
Let's see how it goes.
I decided to put out a little poll
to my friends on Instagram
to see if they think that I could do it today.
These six people who told me I can't do it
are all my most loved and cherished people in my life.
Says a lot.
Little do they know,
I used to do food eating competitions in college,
and I got first place in all of them.
I've got one shot.
Two forks.
(bell dings)
Whoa.
I'm gonna have to move this plate, I feel like.
Okay.
Alright.
Okay, where do I start?
Oh, just layers of cheese and love.
It's beautiful.
This is an entire piece of chicken
that has been made into the shape of a pizza.
Like you would have no idea that this is a chicken parm.
Holy cheese.
Let me get one with the jalapeno.
Very important.
Yep, got all the colors going on here.
Looks really, really fresh.
- Mama's here.
Try not to mess up your makeup.
I'm just gonna stick my hand on.
Okay.
I'm thinking these are tots.
I'm gonna go in with the spicy one.
Okay, it's more than a tot.
There's like cheese and bacon.
Finally, a vegetable.
Something so healthy, you know?
So, health, health, right?
Mmm.
(fast forward squeaking)
- [Server] This is our Chicken Riesling.
- Can I have a Riesling,
like a Riesling?
You can't have Chicken Riesling without the Riesling.
Also, it's like kind of 11 a.m., but it doesn't matter.
We're gonna start with this ridiculous looking burger
that has bacon, and then we have more meat on here.
(fast forward squeaking)
This feels really heavy in my hand.
Okay, I need one more bite, sorry, guys.
Like, I imagine if I was really, really drunk,
not that I'm drunk ever, but if I was,
this would be something I would order.
It's time for the Riesling.
I think it's fair to say, at this point,
we should take a look at my napkin.
May I have a new napkin?
(bell dings)
Napkin two.
I think you're supposed to like taste the Riesling,
and then go in with the chicken.
It's like this whole like wine tasting thing.
You have to drink the wine, then the chicken.
We're going to the SkinnyLicious part
of the menu right here.
Maybe I should try the skinny menu more.
(sighs)
One moment, it's a stretch break time.
(jazzy music)
The trick is to stretch the stomach.
I was born ready.
Hey, sweet thang.
Oh, they're super, like, soft.
Oh, it's super sweet.
This is really pretty,
like this is really, really (bleep) classy.
Okay, so this is a Vegan Cobb Salad.
The nine other meals I already ate don't count anymore,
because I just ate like a vegan salad.
(fast forward squeaking)
It's all just so beautiful.
This little burger here, it's its 40th birthday,
just like The Cheesecake Factory.
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday ♪
We've got some Crispy Chicken here.
It reminds me of the Chicken Parm Pizza
we had a little bit earlier.
Mmm.
I'm feeling pretty optimistic right now.
We got this.
We got some chicken here.
We got some vegetables on top of it.
Let's go in for it.
Mmm.
Oh,
my
god,
this is mac and cheese shells.
My body is telling me to eat the entire thing.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
This,
this is a work of art.
I'm just really impressed by this.
This is like sorcery here.
We have an Everything Pizza.
Some sausage, we got some peps,
some onions, some olives, some pepperoni.
It literally has everything on it
that you would ever want.
I can't imagine what else you would wanna put on it,
unless you're thinking everything as in everything bagel,
like you're, oh,
I almost dropped my wine.
(solemn music)
Any-who,
we got some Avocado Eggrolls, really excited about this one.
Delish actually has their own recipe,
not The Cheesecake Factory recipe.
We have our own avocado eggroll one,
and I'm in love with them,
so hoping the same for this.
Mm-hmm.
Not halfway yet.
(fast forward squeaking)
I think we're gonna start with this burrito.
(laughs)
There's so much in here.
'Cause it's so massive,
you literally have to put the guac and the beans
and the sour cream on another plate.
This is a Cinnamon Roll Pancake,
and I think you can understand why.
It looks like an actual cinnamon roll.
It's the cutest little thing.
The trick to getting a good pancake pic,
showing the top and moving around a lot,
and then showing the sides.
Buffalo fried chicken, in triangle form.
It's in dippable form, I get it.
This is really, really good.
We'll do a napkin check.
It's looking cute.
It's not too messy yet.
This thing is really, whoo, it's like a showstopper.
It's really pretty.
Again, it's like kind of one of those date night foods
that you'd order, in my head.
Love salmon.
Eat it any form.
On top of a salad, you can't go wrong.
I'm going to napkin three.
(bell dings)
I am ready.
(fast forward squeaking)
This is like your takeout dreams come true.
Mmm.
It's that wine sauce again,
and you know what goes well with wine sauce?
Wine.
(breathes deeply)
It's super important to continue breathing as you eat.
If you don't breathe, you can't eat, you know?
May I have another?
Thank you.
This Huevos Racheros is like one of my go-to for brunch.
Mmm, mm-hmm.
We're gonna move over to these really,
really cute steak tacos,
like this clearly looks like you're supposed to share it,
but guess what?
We don't share.
No, we don't.
I'm sorry for what you're about to see.
Whoa.
Oh, my god, okay.
It's one of those dishes where you're like
how do you touch it?
How do you even go about it?
Do I play Jenga?
Stay.
No, you don't.
I think I've actually taken this thing apart now,
and I'm just playing with my food,
straight up playing with it,
and I'm gonna get kicked out of here if I keep doing this.
My mom just Snapchat me and said,
"Hope you brought Tums."
And I didn't, which is such a rookie move.
(fast forward squeaking)
It's like the lights are on and no one is home right now
in my face, like...
Start with the Fettuccine Alfredo,
'cause you know, some cream sauce,
at this point in the game, is not gonna fill me up at all.
You know what, this is like
Italy's greatest gift to America.
Thank you.
Sliding on over to the sliders.
Cheers.
They're so cute.
This is just like America, like straight up America.
We got Italy and we got America.
It's all happening right here.
Soup, salad,
sandwich, done.
These shrimp are so fricking huge.
If you buy me this, I will love you forever.
If I could sing, I would sing Miley Cyrus'
Best of Both Worlds, 'cause you've got the chicken
and the shrimp, but I'm not gonna do that to you,
because you don't deserve that.
This is like an arts and crafts project.
If you wanna add some nice brush strokes here, like this,
like as so, great activity with the kids.
I don't have kids.
Oh, it's like a little baby
that I'm eating.
Winner winner, chicken dinner.
(funky techno music)
Let's bring on the cheesecake.
I think it's fair to say that this is
what we've all been waiting for.
It's The Cheesecake Factory,
so we're obviously eating a bunch of cheesecake.
Remember that kid from Matilda?
- I'm going to be him right now.
We've got red velvet, chocolate,
the classic strawberry, confetti birthday celebration,
Oreo, and then all of the candies,
and we got a margarita.
♪ It's the final countdown ♪
So, we're gonna start with the cheesecake
that actually started it all, like this is like the OG,
the like just baby that started it all.
Should I be a hand model?
This is just like the cheesecake
that everyone's freaking out about,
just the colors of it, it's just a birthday explosion.
I'm gonna try to do this the classy way
and do a smaller bite.
You're definitely gonna want this at your birthday party.
Whatever you can think of to celebrate,
just have this at it.
This is amazing.
And if we can all just
take a moment of silence for the thickness
of this right here.
Fair to say red velvet's one of my favorite flavors,
so I'm really excited about this one.
Mm-hmm.
If you eat peanut butter out of the jar,
this is going to be your best friend.
It has Butterfinger and Reese's in it.
We have the most massive Oreo I've ever seen,
this little topper here on this Oreo cheesecake.
It's an Oreo within an Oreo.
It's inception.
(deep resonating tone)
I need a moment.
(breathes deeply)
Some people train for marathons.
Other people train for cheesecake.
There are so many layers in this.
Like it's like cake, layer, cake, layer of frosting,
cake, frosting.
Okay.
(bell dings)
(applause)
Help.
After 40 dishes, I thought I would be
completely on the floor.
I'm really proud of myself.
I didn't think I had it in me.
And you know what?
I proved all those haters wrong.
Everyone who said that I wouldn't be able to do it,
look at me now.
(funky pop music)