Welcome back to the Gentleman's Gazette!
In today's video we discuss ten ways men damage their reputation and how you can avoid it.
These days your reputation can be trashed more easily than ever before thanks to the
Internet.
One Instagram picture, one Facebook comment, one tweet, one poor moment of judgment, or
one accusation is all it takes to leave a lasting mark in a place where nothing ever
disappears.
A single instance of bad behavior even if you think it's not a big deal may haunt you
forever and it's simply best to be on your guard and second guess things whether it's
a good idea.
And my opinion it's always good to ask the question, "If what I'm doing right now would
be published in the news or in a newspaper, could I go out there with my head up high
and proud and be okay with them talking about me and what I did?"
You rely on your reputation to gain trust, get employment, get a promotion and develop
relationships.
Just think of Tiger Woods, he thought he'd never get caught cheating and because of that
he lost his marriage, he lost lots of sponsors, and overall his reputation.
In this day and age you have to assume that you're being googled by hiring managers, potential
dates, competitors and customers so it's always best to think twice about your actions.
So what are the two key reputation losing traps?
One, it's bad behavior itself.
It's everything like racism, sexism, fighting, dishonesty or anything else that could reflect
poorly on your character.
Two, aside from the bad behavior itself it's the belief that you're not being recorded
or that you won't ever be caught.
When everyone has a cell phone, it's simply foolish to assume that nobody will record,
hear, listen or see what you've said or did.
Sometimes you may have the best intentions but if you don't consider how something may
sound or appear you can ruin your reputation.
Some may also think that their bad behavior will simply be tolerated or not be called out but
at the end of the day no one is immune to it and you can lose your reputation in a snap.
So what are the 10 ways to lose one's reputation?
First of all it's unprofessional behavior at the office.
If you think about it, it's one of the worst places to lose one's reputation because most
of the time it's directly tied to your livelihood.
If you're rude or difficult to work with maybe you're gonna be laid off and oftentimes employers
talk to each other so it may be more difficult for you to find new employment.
People who harass others especially sexually may even end up in jail.
Another great way to damage your reputation is to always be right and to always have the
last word.
You also want to avoid gossiping because it always reflects negatively on you.
If you work in a white-collar environment, dressing too casually can be a problem.
On the flip side, dressing too formally or out dressing your boss can be an issue too
especially if your boss has issues with his self-confidence.
Because of that it always pays to respect the dress code at work.
You also don't want to start any arguments or have private conversations very loudly
so everybody can listen in.
Because at the end of the day, it reflects poorly on you.
The second way to damage your reputation is to engage in substance abuse.
You might think others won't notice.
At the end of the day, they will.
It will be talked about and it can be extremely difficult to not just find employment but
also get driver's licenses and it has a triggering effect that stays on your record for life.
The third and probably one of the most easiest ways to damage your reputation is the misuse
of social media.
Obviously you can post too much and you know what happens with people who annoy you, you
just unfollow them and in the back of your mind you think of them less highly.
Of course some people post the things that are too personal but nobody wants to know
if you just had an abscess on your bum.
Also do you know those people that are full of conspiracy theories and full of negativity
and they write about how much they hate their job and their life and everything?
It's simply an overshare and people don't want to read about it especially not future
employers or your date.
Sometimes it's very tempting to leave a comment on a photo and even if it seems very obvious,
it's sometimes better to simply not post.
At the end of the day, what is there to gain?
For example, there was a picture of a woman who was pushing a stroller on a Segway and
there was a flood of bad comments.
It turned out her husband had bought it for her because she couldn't actually walk.
Now obviously it was a nice gesture and this mother tried to do the best she could yet
she got a shitstorm of comments that was wholly unjustified.
Now if people see that you participate in that, it reflects very negatively on you?
Even if you use snapchat or you set all your privacy settings to lock down, people can
still take screenshots of what you posted and share it with the world without you being
able to control it in any way shape or form.
If you read the terms of the social platforms, once you post something there is no legal
way to retract it even if you delete it.
The fourth way to damage your reputation is to have a strong ego.
That includes blaming others for your faults, not taking responsibility and simply walking
around as if you're the king.
If you're unable to have your opinions and beliefs challenged and if you're boasting
about your strip club knowledge, you have a serious ego problem.
Likewise if you want to abuse your position in society and ask people, "don't you know
who I am?"
That shows that you have an issue with your ego.
For example there was a female TV host who got her car towed and she went to the impound
lot and argued with the poor lady there and just insulted her about her teeth, her education,
how dumb she was, how ugly.
And she didn't think it was on camera but she tried to tell her that she's so much better
and used her position to make the other person down.
Well, guess what?
She lost her job and everyone can still see how nasty she was in that one situation.
Now, don't get me wrong, we all have a bad day but again always think twice because in
this day and age there is no second chance for things that have gone viral.
The fifth way to ruin your reputation is to be overly emotional.
If you can't control your feelings, you'll quickly gain a reputation for having a short
fuse and people will keep you at arm's length and they won't trust you with important tasks
because they know they can't rely on you.
The sixth good way to damage your reputation is by being hypocritical.
For example, the owner of mugshots.com wouldn't have his own mugshot published on there.
Now that's pretty hypocritical, isn't it?
When you engage in hypocrisy and you set different standards for others than you do for yourself,
you lose all credibility.
The seventh way to damage your reputation is plain old lying.
I know sometimes you're in a bad mood and someone asks you how you are and you just
say everything is fine.
That's the kind of lie that's acceptable in society.
On the other hand, if you constantly lie to come up with excuses or why you didn't get
the project done your boss will see through it and fire you for it.
The eighth way to sooner or later lose your reputation is to not understand when to fight
a fight and when to simply walk away.
Just think about it, if you engage in a fight every time you have the opportunity to, chances
are you will eventually end up losing, someone will record it and it will go on the internet
and you have a bad reputation forever.
Keeping calm especially if you're stressed out requires restraint.
But it's a quality that's highly sought after by employers and people in general.
Who do you want to sit next to on a plane that is going down?
A stressed out person who is rude, loud and aggressive, or a considerate person that is
thoughtful and helping others.
The ninth way to lose your reputation is to be unreliable.
You tell people you'll call them and you don't follow up or if you make appointments and
you don't show up, not only do you give them the feeling that you don't care but you're
so unreliable that people don't want to engage with you or your business ideas or anything
else that you touch because they simply can only see it going downhill.
New York Mayor Bill De Blasio had reputation for tardiness and it also shows that you think
your time is more important than other people's time and that you're above things and it's
never a good signal to send to others even if you're in a position of power because sooner
or later it will hurt you.
Last but not the least, a sure way to damage your reputation is to engage in sexual harassment.
No matter where it's at the workplace or outside.
Sexual harassment is all over the news and it seems there's a tipping point right now
where a lot of powerful men find themselves confronted with their past actions.
To some it can constitute a gray area to define what is sexual harassment and what is maybe
just a joke?
But if you look at surveys and studies, 64% of all people think that there are sexual
harassment at the workplace and that it's a big problem.
If you think about it, sexual harassment is about one thing - power.
And most positions of power in the world today are still held by men.
You as a man are responsible not to engage in sexual harassment.
It's not the responsibility of another man or another woman
to tell you to stop or to report you or to tell if they are uncomfortable with what you're
doing right now.
Honestly it's also unacceptable to complain that it's too difficult to understand what
is an acceptable joke and what is inappropriate sexual harassment.
The rules are clear and if you're not sure about them I suggest you sit down, do a google
search and learn about them.
That being said there are a lot of ways to damage your reputation. Another one would be
to not display proper dining etiquette.
And to learn more about it, please check out this video here.
Or for example if you're not dressed appropriately for your job interview it'll cost you a job
even though you're the most qualified candidate.
And if you want to learn more about that check out this video here.
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In today's video, I'm wearing a vintage sport coat which is made out of tweed in a herringbone
pattern and the colors are dark red, burgundy and green.
I combined it with a light blue and white check shirt as well as a olive-green knit
tie from Fort Belvedere which you can find in our shop here.
The pockets square is likewise green, purple and orange and it ties together the jacket
the tie and the entire ensemble.
My pants are dark blue corduroys and I wear them with contrasting brown suede corduroy
boots.
My socks are shadow striped in navy and blue and so they pick up the blue color on the
shirt as well as the pants and everything looks harmonious.
You can also find them in the shop here.